


Heartlines (Revised)

by dirtshag



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alpha Harry, Alpha Liam, Alpha Niall, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Future, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Beta Zayn, Brief Subspace, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Forced Bonding, Government Corruption, Knotting, Louis-centric, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Omega Louis, Pining Harry, Protective Harry, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rebellion, Sad Louis, Vulnerable Louis, this is totally a larry fic not tomlinshaw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-07
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-02-16 09:29:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 14
Words: 64,866
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2264562
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dirtshag/pseuds/dirtshag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU where the government has a special breeding program to assure optimal gene passage. After eighty years, it has resulted in bigger alphas, smaller omegas, and fertile betas. At some point in their lives, citizens will receive a letter determining their 'perfect match', whom they are forced to bond with. It is expected of the paired couple to reproduce as soon as possible. A lot of people are angry.</p><p>*on hiatus until further notice*</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> basically there is no sexuality in this fic. people get their letter and do whatever they get (it comes down to a/b/o dynamics basically so yeah)
> 
> and i've added some scenes (like this one) to the original piece, but the structure of it has changed a bit. there's more detail to their dialogue and some scenes have changed a bit.
> 
> thank you all for being so patient with me!!!!
> 
> and i'd like to thank [xslinthead](http://archiveofourown.org/users/xslinthead/pseuds/xslinthead), [aclassyaddiction](http://aclassyaddiction.tumblr.com/), and [cutie-pie1456](http://cutie-pie1456.tumblr.com/) for betaing this for me!! thank you so much!! what you've suggested has really helped make it better. thank you so much :)

He walks down a long corridor. The plaster walls are a dull white with some crumbling areas. There is no décor lining the entire length of the hall, which seemingly has no end. For some reason, he has a fear that the floor will open up and swallow him whole **.** He hugs the wall instead and pulls himself further away from what’s inside the house and closer to the front door. The floor creaks and groans under his weight as he works toward freedom, but suddenly there’s an unmistakable growl accompanied by a scraping noise. His breathing heavies and his heart races faster and he hurries to pull himself to safety as quickly as he can.

He’s just about to reach the doorknob when the floor opens up and monstrous hands wrap around his ankles before pulling him into the dark and dank basement below. His fingers claw at the hardwood floor, scrabbling for purchase but to no avail.

He lets out a bloodcurdling scream as the hands pull him down, one clamping over his mouth as he squirms and thrashes to escape. The hands continue to hold him tight as if he’s nothing and pull him down into the darkness. He’s handled roughly and shoved into a chair, where his wrists, ankles, and chest are bound with fraying, scratchy rope. Cold, cruel hands pry his mouth open and stuff a wad of foul fabric into the back of his throat, making him gag. Another strip of fabric is tied roughly in front of his mouth. His captor further tightens his already rigid bonds and sweeps out of the room, leaving him to sit in darkness.

He doesn’t know how long he's bound there, but he does know that his chances of getting out of this place alive are very slim. His chest aches and he feels anoncoming wave of tears, bringing a painful pressure to his forehead and the area just below his eyes. He fights for air as the tears wash down his face, his nose beginning to run, making it nearly impossible for him to breathe. He’s going to suffocate himself if he can’t get control over his own reactions, he realizes, and then his death here will be absolute. He’ll at least have a chance of escape if he’s alive. He slows his breathing to calm the sobs that wrack his body. He’s got to give himself a chance.

The sound of a door creaking open tells him his captor has returned. His blindfold is removed to reveal a dank yellow wallpapered room with a single door and flickering light bulb above his head. His panic rises in his chest as the figure moves around him and he strains to break free of his bonds, but he has no such luck. His captor sweeps in front of him, revealing a tall, dark, brooding character and he makes a muffled sound of alarm. The figure moves swiftly as he reaches out, his touch cold when he undoes the gag in his mouth and he lets out a squeak and gasps for fresh air.

The figure circles him and he struggles in the chair against his bonds again. The figure only tightens them, letting his fingers roam. Soon enough, he’s touching him all over and making him whimper and not in a good way. More tears stream silently down his cheeks as the figure continues. He wants to kick and scream and fight his way out of this, so as the figure’s hand slips into the waistband of his pants from behind him, he bites his arm and forces the chair back to fall on his captor’s feet, hopefully injuring him.

The figure curses and grabs hold of him, but he just squirms and writhes and thrashes to get out of his hold, screaming nonsense.

Louis is shaken awake to the sound of screaming. He jolts awake, realizing the screaming is his own.

Harry is gripping his shoulders, looking terrified. “Louis,” he whispers. “Was it the dream again?” Louis only nods and bursts into tears, burying his face in Harry’s chest. Harry wraps him up in his arms, holding him close and petting his hair as he gently rocks him. “Shhh, shhh,” he murmurs. “You’re okay, I’ve got you, and it was just a bad dream.”

“It’s the same one every time,” Louis mumbles with a sniffle. “I’m so tired, Harry,” he sobs.

“I know you are, I know,” Harry mumbles back, dropping a kiss to the top of his head. “They’re just dreams.”

"They won’t stop coming,” Louis mutters. “They just keep getting worse.”

"Hey," Harry says, "it’s just a dream. I wouldn’t let anything like that happen to you in real life, you know that, right?"

Louis nods silently, his heart yet to stop pounding.

"Get some sleep now, Lou," Harry whispers as he helps him settle back into bed.

"Harry… thank you."

"It’s not a problem," Harry says, drawing the sheets up to the omega’s chest. "I don’t like hearing you scream at night." Louis opens his mouth to say something, but promptly closes it. Harry, seeming to notice Louis’ hesitancy, clears his throat awkwardly. “‘m gonna go back to bed," he says, getting to his feet.

"Wait," Louis says and Harry pauses. "Yes?" he asks.

"Will you sing for me?" Louis asks and Harry softens. “‘Course," he murmurs and settles at the foot of Louis’ bed. "What do you want me to sing?"

"You know, the one," Louis says with a soft smile.

Harry chuckles softly, rubbing at Louis’ calf beneath the sheets. "Yeah, I know," he says. Louis snuggles deeper into his bed, his eyes never straying from Harry. “ _And now we’re grown up orphans and never knew their names. We don’t belong to no one and that’s a shame. But you could hide beside me, maybe for a while, and I won’t tell no one your name. I won’t tell ‘em your name._ " Louis is asleep by the time Harry finishes the chorus, so Harry just tucks the blankets closer to his small body, quietly singing the last part. " _I think about you all the time, and I don’t need to sing. It’s lonely where you are, come back down. And I won’t tell ‘em your name._ Sleep tight, Lou,” he whispers before slipping out of Louis’ room.

As Harry settles into his own bed, his heart aches for the omega he holds so dear to it. Louis has had that recurring nightmare for as long as they’ve shared a flat and Harry hates to see an omega as sweet as Louis so terrified. He lets out a long breath as he stares up at the ceiling. Louis deserves the world, but all he’s ever going to get is everything he doesn’t want.

Harry decides that he’s going to try to get Louis at least one thing in his life that he wants, and more importantly, something that is _his_ _choice_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for putting up with me c: i hope you read this version as well and i hope you enjoy this version more than the first.
> 
>  
> 
> [tumblr](http://dirtshag.tumblr.com)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> basically the same as the original, but it's longer and there's more insight to their /feelings/
> 
> trigger warnings for alcohol and abuse

No one ever dates anymore. There’s no need to.

Louis doesn’t know why he’s sitting in a pub trying to get smashed and hoping someone will approach him. He knows it was a dumb idea on his part since his heat is due any day now, and he knows he’s giving off a slight smell, so he’s definitely been noticed, but all the alphas here have already bonded, so there’s really no point.

He glares into his drink, trying not to let the smoky haze of the rundown pub or his mixed feelings about the earlier events of today get to him. He’s sitting miserably at the bar right now, knowing full well that he really shouldn’t be. Even if he had brought one of his friends, he’d have even less luck of trying to find someone to—he doesn’t even know what he wants.

He tries to decide what exactly he wants when the music starts. It’s a sappy love song from ages ago; no one has written a love song in nearly fifty years, so it’s completely out of date. He wonders what it was like to be in love when a fight breaks out in the corner. A bunch of alphas and betas cheer it on, hollering and encouraging.

 _There sure as hell wouldn’t be so much violence_ , he thinks bitterly as he takes a swig of his drink.

He sits around for another hour, downing a few more drinks that burn his throat but fail to drown his worries. When another pointless fight breaks out, he pays and stumbles out the door and into the street.

The night air is crisp and cool against his face, which is still slightly sweaty from the stuffy heat of the bar. He stuffs his hands deeper into his pockets and sighs heavily as he trudges onward down the street. He jumps a little in startle every time a car whizzes by, but when he hears the raucous voices of a group of really, _really_ big alphas, he feels the need to start running; maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to walk downtown earlier today by himself.

Louis is small, even for an omega, and he knows he has zero chance of defending himself successfully without his friends with him and _definitely_ not when he’s stumbling around slightly inebriated. He wouldn’t be caught dead walking the streets alone if they lived about eighty years earlier.

When he was young, his great grandmother had always told him that, when she was a young omega in the early days of the omegaverse, she had been inexplicably vulnerable and had to have someone with her at all times; she suggested that he should do the same. Louis had always disregarded this since the government stepped in and put a stop to the normal dynamics of alphas, betas, and omegas years ago. Too many babies were born with mutations and deformities, and scientists insisted it was due to poor gene passage. Soon enough, a special governmental unit began playing matchmaker, pairing up couples for optimal gene passage based on their genetic compatibility. Over time, completely strong and healthy "pups" were born to these paired up couples, so the government continued the program indefinitely. This resulted in stronger alphas and betas and even more vulnerable omegas, leaving Louis at an even bigger disadvantage.

He hurries his pace, and it takes him nearly forty-five minutes to arrive at the safety of his home. He walks in, noticing that his flat mates are still wide awake. It can get kind of cramped living in a decent sized flat with four other guys, especially when they’re all alphas and Louis is the only omega. He’d been worried about that when he first moved in, but these four became his best friends and are extremely protective of him, so Louis is really not all that surprised that at least Liam and Zayn are waiting up for him.

"Louis!" Liam scolds as Louis shrugs off his coat. He’s the most protective out of all of them. Louis finds it rather annoying, so he’s prone to rolling his eyes when Liam uses his alpha voice. "I can’t believe you went out by yourself. We were all worried sick about you."

"I’m fine," Louis says shortly and adds under his breath, "it’s not like anyone would try anything with me."

Liam flashes him a warning look because  _of course_  he heard it. “There are some freaky people out there, Louis. The fact that the government has a pretty good handle on it doesn’t mean everyone’s following the rules.”

Zayn nods in agreement. He usually tends to side with Liam on these kinds of things, much to Louis’ annoyance. “Not all alphas are as nice as we are, Louis. You really need to be more careful,” he says, narrowing his eyes as he sniffs the air. “And you’re so close to your heat. Have you taken your suppressants? You’ve never been this irresponsible. What’s gotten into you?”

"Nothing!" Louis snaps, his blood boiling. What gives them the right to boss him around? A lot of things really, but still, they’re treating him like a child. They may be alphas, but that doesn’t mean they can baby him like this. "I can do what I want."

Liam and Zayn share an uneasy look. “Louis,” Liam says softly, “did you get—?”

"I don’t want to talk about it, Liam," Louis sighs, rubbing his hands over his face. "I’m tired and drunk. I just want to go to bed."

Liam presses his mouth into a thin line. “Fine,” he concedes, “but we’re talking about this in the morning.”

Louis wants to object, but he’s an omega, and even if he’s not bonded to Liam or any of the others, he’s sort of forced into obeying them anyway, his submissive nature taking over whether he wants to submit or not.

Fucking biology.

Louis trudges up the stairs as Liam and Zayn whisper to each other in hushed tones, no doubt discussing his behavior. They’re much closer than any of them and Louis wouldn’t be surprised that if one of them wasn’t an alpha, they would have bonded already—that is if they had miraculously been matched up, which Louis still wouldn’t doubt.

His hands feel heavy as he struggles with his shirt. Getting drunk probably wasn’t the smartest idea, either. It doesn’t take a whole lot to get him lost touch of sobriety; omegas’ systems aren’t very good at processing a lot of alcohol. After a few more moments of struggling, Louis is able to rid himself of his shirt, tossing it carelessly onto the tiled floor of the bathroom before stepping into the shower. He lets the warm water cascade over his shoulders as he thinks about the letter he and each of his flat mates had received today. He and his friends will be moving into a larger complex further on the edge of town, per Liam’s request. He’s sort of the leader of their unintentional pack and he didn’t want any of them to get separated once they were all matched up.

The program had found his perfect match.

Louis doesn’t even know his match’s name; all he knows is that he’s an alpha and Louis will have to submit to him whether he likes him or not. He imagines being cornered by his alpha, who he knows will definitely tower over him, and submitting to him no matter how much his mind screams no. He shudders at the thought of being forced to bond with his match even though he absolutely hates him, but since he’s an omega, that’s exactly what he’ll have to do.

A lot of the time, Louis wishes that he hadn’t been born an omega; all of his friends are stronger and bigger than he is and he always ends up losing arguments since they’re always so dominant. He knows his friends would never hurt him, or force their dominance over him, but he can’t help feeling babied when he’s around them.

Louis doesn’t even want to think how protective they would be over him if he ever happens to fall pregnant, even though it wouldn’t be any of theirs. He sighs, feeling tears prickle at the backs of his eyes. He’s only gotten to enjoy twenty odd years of as much freedom that an omega can enjoy. He can’t believe his life will come to its metaphorical end at age twenty-four. He’ll meet his alpha in the morning, and the alpha will decide whether or not he wants him as a mate. Louis is quite certain that his alpha will decide to bond with him since he’s an omega, and a male one no less. After that, his life will become all about having pups and raising a family. He sighs, his mind wandering about, and thinks of how all their lives are going to change when the bathroom door opens.

Louis keeps his mouth shut as one of his flat mates bumbles around half asleep. Even if he wanted to, he couldn’t tell any of them ‘no’ for even the simplest things. Suddenly, the shower glass is pushed back and Louis squeaks and retreats to the corner, desperately covering himself as the intruder clambers in.

"Louis?! Shit, sorry," Harry mumbles, climbing out and closing the shower glass. "I was half asleep, sorry."

"It’s okay," Louis murmurs, making sure to stay behind the glass that has fogged up, feeling incredibly exposed.

"It was your scent, you know," Harry mutters. Harry must have a pretty good sense of smell in comparison to the others; typically Louis’ scent can be detected by his friends when they’re in the same room a few days before his heat. Harry always somehow manages to smell it from rooms away, even when it’s as faint as it is now. "Your heat’s coming soon," Harry continues, "so we should all probably stay away for a couple of days." There’s a hesitant pause. "Speaking of which, where were you this evening?"

Really? Now Harry was going to get on his case about this? And while he’s in the fucking  _shower_ _?_ “I just wanted to get out for a while,” Louis mutters. He really doesn’t want to have this conversation with Harry right now. Or ever, really.

"Louis, if this is about the matches—"

"Just drop it," Louis seethes, shutting off the water. He wipes some of the steam off the glass to see if Harry will leave, but he’s standing there with a look of warning and a fluffy towel. "Christ, Harry, can’t you leave me be until I get a towel?" Louis asks, but he knows the answer to this and steps out anyway, letting Harry wrap the towel around his shoulders. "You alphas are so infuriating."

Harry chuckles at this, grabbing a towel for himself; his clothes had gotten wet from accidentally slipping in the shower, uninvited no less. “We’re just looking out for you, Lou,” he says softly.

"I don’t need to be looked after," Louis harrumphs and tugs the towel tighter around his shoulders.

Harry chuckles again, infantilizing Louis once again. “’Course you need looking after, Lou,” he says. “You’re an  _omega_.”

"Just shut up; you’re not helping," Louis grumbles, unable to keep the whine from his voice. Harry’s eyes widen at Louis’ pleading; out of all the alphas in the flat, Harry is the one most responsive to Louis’ uneasiness, which he highly appreciates.

"Right, sorry," Harry mumbles, dropping his gaze. At least Harry recognizes the fact that Louis is his own person, something he’s been trying to instill in both Liam and Zayn for years. Harry is the only one that he’s met that isn’t a full-blown typical alpha. Liam, Zayn, and Niall are better than some, but Harry’s still the best he’s met in terms of misogynistic behaviors. "Sorry for, um, interrupting your shower," he says passively and scurries out of the bathroom.

Louis sighs to himself and towels himself dry before slipping into his comfiest pair of pajamas and slinking down the hall to his own bedroom, where he buries himself in the sheets.

 

Louis walks into the kitchen after a rather fitful night of sleep. His recurring nightmare plagued him all night long, but when he woke up to the sound of his own screams, Harry wasn’t there to comfort him. His entire body feels heavy with an invisible weight as he realizes this is his last morning as an unbonded omega. He trudges down the stairs, feeling like he’s going to be sick with the fear of meeting his alpha, but all that is pushed aside when he notices that Zayn is not tucking into his breakfast like he normally does, and Louis’ omega nurturing instincts kick in.

“Zayn? What’s wrong?” he asks, feeling genuinely concerned.

"Turns out I’m not an alpha," Zayn mutters rather bitterly. "According to my letter, I’m just an ‘overly aggressive beta’."

"Oh." Louis reaches out and places a gentle hand on his friend’s shoulder. "I’m sorry," he murmurs, giving Zayn’s shoulder a delicate squeeze. He can’t fathom the idea of being told you’re not who you thought you were for your entire life. He can’t imagine how lost Zayn feels.

Zayn shakes his head in disregard. “Don’t worry about it,” he mutters.

"But the good news is that we’ve been matched," Liam offers pleasantly, pressing a kiss to Zayn’s cheek. It's odd that the program would match a male alpha and a male beta, but Louis disregards it because he knows the relationship Liam and Zayn have with each other.

"That’s great!" Louis exclaims genuinely. "I’m happy for you two." Zayn smiles weakly in silent thanks. Louis takes notice of Zayn’s slight despondence, but decides to let the subject die as Liam sits next to Zayn, whispering in his ear.

"Looking good, Lou," Harry teases as he saunters in, a smirk on his face.

Louis’ cheeks turn a violent red as Liam raises an eyebrow. "What’re you on about, Harry?" he asks. Leave it to Liam to come to Louis’ rescue when it comes to Harry’s cheeky remarks.

"Nothing," Louis mutters as he reaches across the table for the jam. "He’s on about nothing. He’s just being stupid. Like normal,” he says, shooting Harry a pointed look.

Harry purses his lips, but says nothing as he puts his own breakfast together. Louis eats his breakfast quickly and silently, avoiding Harry’s eyes, but Harry seems to be ignoring him too. Harry has never ignored him like this, and Louis is suddenly worried that he offended Harry last night after their humiliating exchange in the bathroom. He doesn’t feel hungry anymore as he comes to this realization.

Louis excuses himself from the table, but Liam stops him in the doorway. "We need to talk, Louis," he says and Louis sighs, knowing it was useless to hope that Liam would forget about that.

Liam ushers him into the living room, standing them in the middle of the room. “Louis, listen to me,” he starts and Louis is forced to obey, the decision making portion of his brain shutting itself off. He’s not meant to make decisions for himself, he’s meant to do as others say. Louis hates his omega brain with every fiber of his being. “I know you’re worried about your match, but—”

"It’s not fair, Liam!” Louis cries out, the tears already welling up.

Liam seems taken aback at Louis’ uncharacteristic outburst, but Louis couldn’t care less about fitting into social roles at the moment. "You guys at least get to choose whether or not you want to be mates. I won’t get that choice because if my alpha wants to bond with me, I have to. I don’t want a mate, Liam," Louis sobs.

"Shhh," Liam soothes, pulling him into his chest and rubbing Louis’ back for him, letting Louis helplessly sob into the fabric of his shirt.

Harry hovers in the doorway, his eyes wide with concern for his omega friend. "Liam," he whispers as he leans closer, "do you mind if I take this?"

Liam shakes his head, giving Louis’ shoulder a quick squeeze before slipping past Harry. Louis stands sniffling in the middle of the room as Harry quickly makes his way over.

"You’re going to be okay, Lou," Harry says, injecting his tone with as much care and gentleness as he possibly can.

Louis sniffs. “But… wh-what if I’m not?” he asks, peering up at Harry who runs a rough hand through Louis’ fluffy hair.

"Then we’ll kick his ass," Harry murmurs, while being both sincere and trying to humor Louis. "We’re not gonna let him hurt you and get away with it. You’ve got fou—I mean, three alphas and an aggressive beta watching out for you, Louis, we’re not gonna stop just because we’re all being mated off."

"You didn’t seem to care last night when I woke up screaming," Louis mutters bitterly.

Harry sighs, reaching out to take up Louis’ smaller hand in his own, pulling the omega into his broad chest. “I’m sorry for that,” he apologizes softly. “I wasn’t sure if it was appropriate, since you’ll be, um, someone else’s soon.”

Niall appears in the doorway and leans against the door jamb, watching the two of them for a while. “Guys,” he says softly, “we need to start moving stuff to the truck.”

Louis nuzzles his face against the material of Harry’s shirt, inhaling his comforting alpha scent. “I love you guys,” he whispers, feeling significantly better, but still insanely nervous.

***

Louis feels close to tears or getting sick as he and his friends load all their possessions into the back of a moving truck. They’re relocating further to the edge of the city, into a complex where their matches are already waiting… except Harry’s, that is. He was the only one of them to not receive a letter, but Liam insisted he move with them since his eventual mate will have to follow him wherever.

Once each of them is settled into the truck, it lurches forward and takes them away from everything they have ever known. Louis dreads their arrival in their new home because his alpha will be waiting for him and he’ll be stepping into unknown territory, which is always unsettling. His fingers tremble at the immensity of everything to come.

Harry catches this and raises a questioning brow. “Lou?” he asks, “are you doing all right?”

"I’m so scared, Harry," Louis confesses in a whisper. "What if I don’t like him? What if he doesn’t like me and just  _rejects_  me? What if he just throws me out on the street? I’ve heard of that happening to carriers in Beijing—”

Harry runs a hand through Louis’ hair again, calming him down. “Shhh, Lou,” he coos. “We won’t let him hurt you.”

Louis responds by snuggling into Harry’s side, sniffling slightly and relishing the comfort that comes with it. Harry is sturdy and strong, like all alphas, but he’s gentle and extremely caring when he wants to be, which isn’t all too often, so Louis takes what he can get.

“Promise?” he asks, peering up at Harry with wide eyes.

"Promise," Harry assures, pressing Louis closer to his side.

 

The others walk through the door first, deeming the place safe for Louis to walk in himself, and that’s when Louis sees him. His alpha is tall and rather lanky with somewhat of a big nose. His dark hair is styled upward and he’s dressed in a worn flannel and ancient looking boots. He sniffs the air and smiles, looking pleased.

“Ah, there you are,” he says, striding over like he owns the place. Louis suspects that this alpha’s ego is fifty percent of his personality from the way his lips are quirked up into a smug smirk. Even the way he walks is loud, screaming to the world, ‘ _I’m an alpha, I have power! Fear me! ROAR!!!!_ ’. Louis is timid and has felt threatened by alphas much bigger than this one, but something about him just makes his hair stand on end. “You must be my omega.”

Louis nods reluctantly, his mouth feeling dry. He wants to throw up when the alpha holds out a hand to shake.

“Nick Grimshaw,” the alpha introduces himself, rather smugly as Louis notes.

"Um… L-Louis Tomlinson," Louis stutters, keeping his hands barred by his side.

Nick smiles in confusion when Louis doesn’t take his hand but dismisses it, tilting his head to the side and assessing the omega stood before him. “What a treasure you are. I’m still surprised I actually got an omega instead of a beta, and let alone a  _male_  omega. I guess I’ve hit the jackpot, haven’t I?”

Louis doesn’t respond to Nick’s self-absorbed praise. He’s only met a few other male omegas himself and that was through the private school his mum transferred him to. Nick just looks him over and Louis stands there awkwardly, used to being stared at, especially by alphas.

“You’re quite small for an omega,” Nick comments, licking his lips.

"It just makes him easier to hold," Harry offers without warning as he carries in a stack of boxes containing his possessions and Nick narrows his eyes in his direction.

Nick turns to face Louis, his expression hard. “Come with me. Now,” he commands in an alpha voice and steers Louis out of the room and down the hall. Louis takes notice of how similar it is to the corridor in his nightmare and his heart hammers in his chest as he expects the floor to open up and swallow him whole.

"But I—" Louis protests weakly as Nick shoves him into a private room, only half relieved that the floor didn’t swallow them up. The other half of him wishes that it had so he wouldn’t be alone with the greasy alpha.

"This is our room," Nick says. "I hope you like it." The walls are a deep purple and the soft carpet is dark gray. The furniture has a black finish and the purple duvet is the fluffiest Louis has ever seen.

Louis swallows hard. “It’s fine,” he murmurs, not daring to look the alpha in the eye.

Nick circles him, drinking in the sight of him and sniffing. “You’re close to your heat, aren’t you?” he remarks and Louis nods, praying that the floor does decide to swallow him up whole. “You’re not on suppressants, are you?”

“I am,” Louis answers softly. “They’re to help regulate my—”

“You’ll have to stop taking those as soon as possible,” Nick says, rubbing at his chin as his eyes continue to sweep over Louis.

“But I—” Louis protests and Nick’s eyes harden so Louis drops his eyes to the floor. “I’ll throw them out,” he mutters to the still solid floor.

“Good,” Nick says, tilting Louis’ chin up so he can look at his face. “I want to mark and bond you as soon as possible. After dinner sound good?”

"I don’t want to bond with you," Louis splutters, throwing his hands over his mouth in shock; even he’s appalled that he’s said it.

Nick stares stonily at him, his jaw clenched and his chest heaving slightly. Louis immediately wants to take it back because now he’s gone and made himself the target of an angry alpha.  _Forget the floor_ , he thinks.  _Just kill me now, fate_.

"You shouldn’t have said that," Nick growls, cornering him and Louis’ nightmare is now becoming reality.

"No, please," he begs, his voice cracking. "I don’t want this, please, I’m scared." He crouches in the corner, wrapping his arms around himself to offer himself a small amount of protection. He’s crying pathetically and Nick is drawing this out as painfully slowly as he can, touching Louis languidly and making him squirm. Louis wants to scream, but it comes out as a whimper and he knows he’s completely and utterly fucked, figuratively but the way things are playing out, he might as well be fucked literally as well. The hot tears sting the backs of his eyes and warm his cheeks as they fall. He can’t help but wonder how many poor souls are forced to withstand an equally parts horny and angry alpha. As everything gets to be almost too much, the door swings open.

"What the fuck do you think you’re doing?" Harry growls, his hands clenched into fists at his sides. "Can’t you see he’s scared? Leave him alone."

Nick makes a bemused snort as he retracts his touch, straightening to stand with an air of superiority. “He’s my omega; I can do whatever I want with him.”

"He’s not just an omega, he’s a person," Harry spits, stepping into the room. "Louis, get over here."

"You can’t tell him what to do," Nick says incredulously as Louis scrambles over to shelter himself behind Harry’s narrow but nonetheless sturdy build.

"I swear to God if you try anything with him when he tells you ‘no’, I’ll rip your fucking throat out." And with that, Harry ushers Louis out of the room and slams the door behind them. 

Harry pulls Louis into his own room, pushing soothing fingers through his hair and gripping at his shoulders. “You okay, Lou?” he asks softly, quickly assessing the shaking omega in front of him. “He didn’t do anything too bad, did he?”

"No, I’m okay," Louis squeaks, but then bursts into fresh tears.

"Shhh, shhh," Harry soothes, pulling Louis into his arms and pressing kisses to the top of his head. "You’re okay, I’ve got you."

Suddenly Niall bursts in, his breathing heavy as if he had been sprinting. “What’s happened? What’s wrong?” he asks, his eyes wild and dark with anger. “Is Louis okay?”

"He’s fine. I’ve handled it, Niall," Harry says, waving him off and Niall eyes them curiously for a few seconds before he nods curtly and shuts the door behind him. "Louis, if it would make you feel safer, you can sleep in here tonight," Harry murmurs, raking a hand through Louis’ hair.

"Thank you," Louis mumbles, nuzzling further into Harry and the protection he provides. He’s quiet for a while, his heart rate slowly returning to normal before the adrenaline wears off and Louis remembers just how hungry he is. "I don’t want to go out there again and I’m hungry… could you get me some food, please?"

Harry smiles fondly. “Sure I can,” he says softly, pressing a kiss to his forehead. Harry leaves Louis to himself, locking the door behind him.

Now that his head is clear, Louis takes the time to assess his surroundings and his further options. Harry’s room is about the same as Nick’s, except the walls are white instead of purple. There’s a private bathroom attached, so Louis decides he could hide in here for the rest of his life. He thinks that could work, as long as he has Harry to get food for him. Louis doesn’t know what he’s thinking. Of course he can’t hide in a room for the rest of his life, that’s completely ridiculous. Surely Harry would never agree to such an obscure suggestion anyway. Louis lies back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling and wondering what the hell he’s going to do.

Harry returns moments later with the leftovers from last night, making sure to securely lock the door before padding over to the bed where Louis has been patiently waiting. “Here,” Harry says gently, which surprises him as Harry presses the plate onto him. “I don’t like him,” Harry mumbles as Louis eats. “And I’ve got the feeling he doesn’t like me all too much either. He kept glaring at me in the kitchen and I’m quite certain he wanted to bash my face into the wall.”

Louis loses his appetite at the mention of the other alpha, his stomach tightening in nerves. "He definitely doesn’t now," he murmurs, setting his only half eaten dinner aside. "You’ve got me locked in your room, which I highly appreciate, by the way."

"Don’t worry about it," Harry says, giving him a small smile. "We told you we’d look out for you." Louis smiles his thanks, but it’s interrupted with a yawn. "Get some sleep, Lou," Harry murmurs, taking the plate and setting it on the nightstand. Louis jumps but Harry remains poised for attack when there’s a sudden pounding on the door paired with muffled shouting and grunting.

Louis immensely wants to disappear, or at least be coddled. ”Can you lie down with me?” he squeaks, trying to ignore the sounds from the other side of the door.

Harry looks like he’s about to say no, so Louis makes himself look as vulnerable and small as possible, which isn’t difficult considering what he’s just experienced.

Harry nods, thoroughly pleasing the tiny omega, crawling in with Louis and cuddling him to his chest. Louis knows this is a bad idea, but he doesn’t want to face what’s on the other side of the door anytime soon. He focuses on listening to the steady rhythm of Harry’s heartbeat, letting that lull him to sleep.

***

Louis wakes up slowly, a low moan escaping his lips. His entire body is tingling; it feels like every nerve in his body is splitting simultaneously. There’s hands tugging at his clothes and—wait a minute, those aren’t his hands.

Louis’ eyes fly open to see Harry still asleep, but his hands are venturing over Louis’ body and his lips are pressing subconscious open-mouthed kisses to his neck.

“Shit,” Louis curses and hurriedly disentangles himself from Harry’s body, waking Harry in the process.

"Wha—?" Harry groans as Louis crawls away from him. He blinks. "Lou—?"

"Stay away from me," Louis whimpers, backing into a corner and taking every ounce of his being to stay away. His body screams in the agony of overstimulation and he has to fight the primal urge to throw himself at Harry and have him fuck him into oblivion. He can feel the slick starting and he bites his lip so hard that it draws blood, and the scent seems to wake up Harry’s brain.

"Blood?" Harry asks and takes in the sight of Louis, frowning worriedly. "Louis, what’s gotten—?" Then realization dawns on him, his eyes widening as the sickly-sweet scent of Louis’ slick hits him. "Oh, God, you’re in  _heat!”_  Harry throws the sheets off his body, hurrying over to Louis, who tries to push him away, but he seems to have forgotten who he is and who he’s dealing with. Harry pities his strong willed but feeble effort as he himself tries to gather his thoughts before either of them loses control. " _Shit_ ," he curses under his breath. "Uh… the bathroom door locks," he says quickly as he takes notice of Louis’ now ruined trousers. "You could wait it out in there."

Louis nods and paws at himself with laborious pants. Harry yanks Louis to his feet, ignoring his instincts to tear his clothes off and fuck him into the mattress and shoves him into the bathroom before he loses absolute control over himself.

Louis locks the door and slumps against it, breathing heavily. His skin feels like it’s on fire and he hasn’t even been touched, but he feels like every nerve is over stimulated. Louis struggles with his slick sodden trousers, his fingers trembling as he tries to pop the button. He struggles out of his clothes, sucking on his fingers to busy himself as he searches desperately for something to help him with his heat, but he finds nothing. Harry is an alpha so of course he wouldn’t have anything besides himself, of course, available to cure the agony of an omega’s heat.

"You doing okay in there, Lou?" Harry calls through the door.

"No," Louis gasps as he frantically paws through the cupboard under the sink for something— _anything_ —that could help him.

“‘m sorry,” Harry apologizes sincerely, although unnecessarily. He pries himself away from the door, forcing himself away from the potent scent of Louis’ heat; it takes nearly all his self control just to simply leave the room and Louis to sweat this out. As he leaves, Harry locks the bedroom door behind him to ensure Louis’ safety from Nick.

 _Speak of the devil_ , Harry thinks as Nick slams into him in the hallway, his eyes dark and wild. “Where is he?” he growls and Harry pushes him away.

"It’s none of your business," Harry spits in his face.

"It is so," Nick growls. "I can smell him; I need to get in there." He starts for the doorknob, but Harry shoves him away.

"Leave him alone," he growls. "He doesn’t want—” His voice is cut off when Nick strikes him in the jaw, sending him stumbling backward. Harry is no weak little fly away thing, but the hit surely takes him by surprise. He stares at Nick, panting heavily as his adrenaline and anger kicks in as Nick smirks victoriously. Harry wants to punch his teeth in. “You’re gonna really wish you hadn’t done that,” he growls lowly and lunges for him, taking him out at the knees. They squabble in the hallway, throwing punches and kicking each other until Liam appears out of nowhere and pulls Harry away. “Knock it off!” he scolds, shoving Harry not-so-playfully. “Harry, you can’t get involved in this. This is between Louis and Nick.”

Harry sets his jaw, wiping at his bloody nose. “It’s not fair, Liam,” he mutters. “It’s not fair that omegas are treated like playthings. Louis is a person, not a fucking piece of meat.”

Liam presses his mouth into a thin line. He doesn’t know how many times Harry has made complaint of the way omegas are treated. “I know it’s not, Harry,” he says empathetically, “but that’s just the way things are. Let it go.”

Harry’s still breathing heavily, but he nods curtly and pushes past Liam to get away from Nick, whom he’s left lying rather pathetically on the floor. "Don’t help him up, Liam," he calls behind over his shoulder and Liam drops his extended hand, shooting Nick an apologetic look and hurries after Harry.

"Harry, you can’t just get between them like that," Liam chastises, settling a hand on Harry’s shoulder.

Harry grunts, pushing away Liam’s hand. “He can’t just treat him like that, Liam,” he says. “It’s completely inhuman.”

"Harry, Nick is Louis’ alpha and he can do whatever he wants," Liam says softly, holding up a hand as Harry starts to protest. "Louis will be fine, trust me. I don’t think Nick would try to really hurt him."

Harry presses his mouth into a line, breaking his eye-contact with his friend. “You are so wrong,” he mutters. “I’m keeping an eye on both of them. If he so much as touches him when Louis doesn’t want it, I’m doing something and there’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

Liam sighs, shaking his head. “I worry about you sometimes,” he says warily as Harry moves about the kitchen, throwing the fridge door open.

"Yeah?" Harry says as he indignantly slams the fridge door shut. "Well,Iworry about Louis.”

Liam sighs as Harry unscrews the bottle of water. “Harry, things could get ugly if you keep this up,” he says. “I’m not just talking about you fighting with Nick. He could alert the authorities, and for good reason. If you get”—he glances around the kitchen as if someone else were present and would overhear—“ _involved_ ”—Harry rolls his eyes at this and tries to ignore Liam’s speech as he goes to take a drink of his water—“with Louis, you’ll be tampering with governmental property.”

Harry spits out his water. “Governmental  _property?_ ” he splutters, bewildered. “Liam, these are  _people_  we’re talking about. Living, breathing  _people_  and you’re talking like they’re nothing.”

“They’re not nothing and they are people, I’m not saying they aren’t,” Liam says, his exasperation clear in his voice. “Everyone is matched for a reason, Harry. If you slip up, the whole gene pool could—”

“Oh, my God, do you seriously  _buy_  that bullshit?” Harry asks and Liam’s face screws up in a way that any passerby would think Harry had slapped him.

“ _Harry_ ,” Liam hisses, the look in his eyes something Harry has never seen before. “There are generations of future children you could put at risk for a stupid crush.”

Harry stiffens his jaw. “A crush?” he repeats. “You think that I have a crush on Louis?”

Liam clears his throat awkwardly. “Well, it’s not exactly subtlety with the way you look at him and sneak into his room at night.” Harry’s jaw drops and Liam just puffs out his chest a little. “Yeah,” he says, “we know about that.”

“It’s not what you think,” Harry says, swallowing hard.

“I swear to God, Harry,” Liam mutters, pinching the bridge of his nose like he’s dealing with a four-year-old that won’t take his afternoon nap. “If you get between Nick and Louis, between the  _law_ , I’ll—I’ll—”

“You’ll  _what_ _?_ ” Harry asks, unabashed. “You’re not even a part of the police force, Liam. You don’t have any authority over me, or Louis, or anyone else in this goddamned place.”

“I’ll report you.” Harry stares at him, breathing hard through his nose. Liam just stares back, his steely gaze unfaltering. Harry knows that Liam wouldn’t hesitate to report him, but he’s not even romantically involved with Louis like everyone else has come to assume. Admittedly, he may have a _tiny_ bit more affection for the omega than the rest of their little pack, but he loves Louis in a friend way. They just get on better and kiss each other more often than the rest of them.

“Would you really report me?” Harry challenges. “You said I was like a brother to you. And after all that shit with you and Zayn—”

“That was completely different, Harry,” Liam mutters, his cheeks reddening. “He—we both thought he was an alpha. It happened once. We were drunk.”

“Oh, piss off,” Harry snarls. “You two have been inseparable since the day you met. Don’t you dare try to tell me I’m the only one at fault here. You’ve done some things, too.”

“It’s different, Harry,” Liam says firmly, the color still bright in his cheeks.

“No, it’s not, Liam,” Harry says, shaking his head. “Would you really sink so low to send one of your family to prison?”

Liam nervously wets his lips, averting his eyes from Harry’s intense gaze. “No,” he says finally and Harry lets out a big breath of air. “But I still don’t want you chasing after Louis like a school kid.”

“I don’t have a crush on Louis,” he says and Liam just sighs, thumping him on his back, signaling that things are okay between them.

“Sure you don’t, buddy,” Liam says.

***

Louis' heat lasts about three days and all the alphas are on edge. Harry manages to get into a few more fights with Nick when he finds him lurking outside his bedroom door, but Liam is always there to break them up, reminding Harry what all is at stake if he keeps it up. Not that he ever stops defending Louis. The complex literally reeks of the insane amounts of testosterone being produced by all the alphas, specifically Harry and Nick since they're constantly fighting.

Harry’s blood boils at the thought of the arrogant alpha they all now have to share a home with. He hates him and his blatant disregard for others. He hates that Louis is his match. Harry knows that Nick won’t treat Louis right, that he’ll treat him like a plaything and eventually _hurt_ him. Harry knows he has to keep his temper to himself because the last thing he wants is to be locked up and away from the friends he calls his family.

"Liam told me what you did," a freshly showered Louis says as he sits on the sofa next to Harry, jostling him from his thoughts. "You didn’t have to do that. Actually, you shouldn’t have done that."

Harry sighs, pulling a hand through his hair. “I had to, Louis,” he says. “I hate how you omegas are treated. It’s so unfair and you guys have no chance of standing up for yourselves so it’s just a perpetual cycle and it’s bullshit.”

As Louis sighs, his sweater (it’s really Harry’s, so it completely swallows the small omega’s slight frame) falls down to reveal a fresh bite mark on his shoulder. Harry’s heart breaks because Louis is bonded now, and he doesn’t look happy.

He should be happy.

They should  _all_  be happy.

Harry doesn’t mention the bite and Louis is more quiet than normal as they speak, his shoulders sagging with an invisible but irrefutably existing weight. “Do you think you’re going to get your letter soon?” Louis asks and Harry shrugs despondently.

“Not even sure if I want it,” he replies.

Louis sucks in a breath. “Don’t you want to be happy, Harry?” he asks and Harry rolls his eyes at the complete irony and ridiculousness that it’s  _Louis_ who’s asked him this. “Are  _you_  happy, Louis?” he asks and the omega sighs, shaking his head slightly.

"Don’t start this, Harry," Louis murmurs. "It’s the way things are."

"How can you say that?!" Harry asks, throwing his arms out in exasperation. "You can’t just sit around and take this shit, Lou!"

"I have to, Harry, don’t you understand that?" Louis snaps, but it’s a broken argument. He sounds more like he’s trying to convince himself of the entirety of his situation. "You don’t realize what it’s like to be an omega, Harry. He could kill me if he really wanted to. Undoubtedly he’s capable of doing so."

"I wouldn’t let that happen to you," Harry whispers, his voice feeling stuck in his throat.

Louis sighs, wrapping his arms around himself. “You can’t keep coming between us, Harry,” he whispers. Harry wants to protest, but Louis sighs impatiently and Harry’s words die in his throat. “Seriously, Harry. He’s violent and has no sense of morals. I wouldn’t doubt that he’d kill you if he ever got the chance.”

"But if that means keeping you safe, I’d be willing to—"

“ _Stop it!_  Can you even hear yourself?” Louis asks. “Just stop, okay? I don’t want to talk about this anymore.”

"Sorry," Harry mutters quietly and Louis just shakes his head as he gets to his feet.

"Just… stay away.  _Please_.”

Harry’s stomach feels like it’s lurched into his throat as he watches Louis escape down the hall as the front door opens. Nick saunters in, making himself look more important than he really is.

He regards Harry with a look of contempt. “Where’s my omega?” he asks sharply and Harry shrugs. Nick sighs dramatically. “Useless,” he mutters and wanders off down the hall after Louis has disappeared, Harry scowling after him the whole way.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading and putting up with my ridiculousness :))))
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> [tumblr](http://dirtshag.tumblr.com/)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey!!!! an update omfg  
> this is extremely overdue, and i'm so so so so so sorry about that. it's been really hard to find time to write what with work and school and college applications and bluh. thank you for being so patient with me :))))

It’s been a month or so after Louis’ heat, and everyone seems to have settled into their new lifestyles. Liam and Zayn have bonded, Niall and his match, Amy, have decided to take it slow and get to know each other better before they bond, and Harry… still hasn’t gotten his letter. He won’t admit it, but he feels somewhat lonesome, with all his friends getting to know their mates and he’s just sitting around looking for work.

He can’t seem to get focused enough to actually look for a job. Unfortunately, he had to resign from the bakery he had thoroughly enjoyed working at. Their new home is too far across town and that made it impossible for him to continue his employment there. He feels a little sore about it and he can’t seem to bring himself to look for new work just yet. All his friends’ lives seem to be taking off, and he’s just stuck.

And then there’s Louis.

All he seems to be wearing anymore are baggy sweaters that swallow him whole. There are dark circles under his eyes and the gauntness of his cheeks is concerning. He doesn't speak very often and when he does, it's very softly. Harry desperately wants to know what's happening to Louis behind closed doors. Obviously it's nothing good, just as he predicted, and Harry doesn't know if he wants to punch Nick for doing this or Liam for turning a blind eye to it.

He’s sat on the sofa, trying to focus on finding a job, when Louis dashes through the living room to get to the bathroom. Harry looks up in bewilderment as the bathroom door slams shut and abandons his search and pads down the hallway to stand in front of the bathroom door.

"Louis?" Harry asks, gently rapping on the door. "You okay in there?"

The toilet flushes and the sound of the faucet running is muffled from behind the door. "Yeah, 'm fine," Louis rasps as he opens the door. His hair is disheveled and there are puffy bags under his eyes. He looks as far away from 'fine' as he possibly could.

"You've been sick an awful lot lately," Harry says and Louis shifts his gaze from his. "I think it's just something I ate," he mutters, his fingers hovering hesitantly over his stomach. "Seafood… doesn't really agree with me."

"If it makes you sick, why didn't you say anything?" Harry asks in genuine concern. "I wouldn't've made that salmon last night if I knew—"

"No, it's fine, really," Louis assures him, flashing him an unconvincing smile. "Nick’s favorite is fish and I figured it'd just be better to eat it instead of make a fuss—"

"You're not allergic, are you?" Harry asks, his eyes wide. "Because I know allergies are rare and all, but they can still happen.”

“Oh, no,” Louis says, his own eyes wide. “I’m not allergic. It just doesn’t agree with me sometimes. No worries.”

“Okay,” Harry murmurs warily, watching as Louis slips past him into his room. “Feel better,” he calls weakly as Louis’ door closes. Harry sighs and plops back down on the sofa and doesn’t even bother trying to focus on finding a job for himself.

Louis has been acting strange lately, but Harry assumes that he’s just adjusting to having a proper mate and an authentic bond. He feels sorry for the poor omega, so he decides to find something special to make for Louis to cheer him up. He ignores the little voice in his head nagging that he doesn’t have his priorities straight as he searches recipes for butter cookies.

 

Louis comes out of his room a while later and settles on the sofa with a book he’d been poring over the last few weeks. He’s only able to read for about fifteen minutes before he has to put it down and shake his head, rubbing at his temples.

"Something wrong?" Harry asks tentatively. He's not entirely sure where he stands with Louis since he’s been so distant lately, but they're the only two in the complex and Louis is in pain; it's in his nature to need to take care of something.

Louis closes his eyes with a sigh. "Just a headache," he says distractedly. "A little dizzy."

"Let me get you some water," Harry says, getting to his feet, but Louis protests weakly. "No, Harry, you really don't have to," he says. "It's fine. Really, it is."

"No, you sound like you’re dehydrated," Harry says. "You need water, Louis."

"Okay," Louis says meekly as Harry heads to the kitchen. He returns a moment later, offering a tall glass of cool water to Louis, who takes it sheepishly. "Thank you," he says softly and Harry just nods. "Let me know if you need anything else," he says.

"Could... you, um, get a blanket for me, please?" Louis asks. "'m freezing."

Harry nods and scurries down the hall to the closet where they keep extra bedding and blankets. He selects the fluffiest and warmest looking one he can find and hurries back to Louis, draping the soft material over his lap.

"Thank you," Louis murmurs, looking up at him gratefully.

"No problem," Harry answers, peering down at him curiously. “Are you sure you’re feeling all right?”

“Yes, Harry, I’m fine,” Louis says firmly.

“If Nick’s hurting you—” Harry starts.

“We’re okay, Harry,” Louis says mechanically in an attempt to shut Harry down. “It’s none of your business anyway.”

“Louis.”

“Harry, if you get involved again, he’s going to report you to the authorities,” Louis says, his voice wavering slightly. “Don’t get yourself locked up for the sake of being  _noble_.”

“This isn’t about  _being_   _noble_ , Louis,” Harry says. “This is about your safety and well-being, both of which have obviously been compromised. This is not a healthy relationship.”

“You think I don’t know that?” Louis asks, looking up at him in disbelief. “I know very well how toxic this ‘relationship’ is, but there’s nothing I can do about it. If there was, believe me, I’d have done it already.”

“But they’re talking about changing the rules,” Harry says earnestly, “you could get out.”

“They’ve been discussing that for the past fifteen years and nothing’s been done,” Louis mutters bitterly. “I’m not an alpha like you, Harry. I can’t just,  _assert_ , myself. No one’s going to listen to a tiny little omega like me.”

Harry fish mouths for a moment before pursing his lips in thought. “Then I’ll do something,” he says finally and Louis just shakes his head. “I’m an alpha, Louis. Someone’s bound to listen to what I have to say, right?”

“I’m flattered that you’re willing to try, on the behalf of all omegas, but—” He cuts himself off with a sigh, giving Harry a long calculating look. “No one cares about us.”

“Omegas are brilliant, though,” Harry protests lamely. “Every alpha I know dreams of being matched with an omega.”

“Because the idea of us is better than the reality,” Louis says with a sigh. “We’re high maintenance, Harry, and a lot of alphas don’t want to put up with that. It becomes tedious to care for us, and lawmakers don’t seem to realize that we need more protection than we get. They’re so corrupt. My own alpha is a lawmaker and look at how he treats me.” His sleeves fall to show off the fingerprint-shaped marks purpling the skin of his wrists. Harry averts his gaze, pretending to not have seen the bruises as Louis fixes his sleeve, his cheeks a furious red.

“I’d take care of my omega if I’m matched with one,” Harry says and Louis sighs. “You’re not like most alphas, though,” he says softly and Harry pretends to not have heard the sad twinge of his voice. Instead, he turns his attention back to his laptop in a businesslike manner. “What sorts of changes need to be made, Lou?” he asks and Louis just blinks at him. “I’m serious, Louis.”

“Harry,” Louis half-whines and Harry gives him a pointed look, reducing him to a sigh. “You can’t solve it with legislation,” he mumbles.

“What?” Harry asks, genuinely concerned with the matter.

“We can’t choose whether or not we want to bond with our match. Everyone else gets to choose, but we don’t have that choice.” He sighs, fidgeting with his blanket. “It’s all part of biology, though, so you can’t fix it with laws.”

“But—” Harry starts.

“I’m really tired, Harry,” Louis sighs. “I don’t want to talk about this right now.” He gets to his feet, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders. “I’m just gonna go back to bed.”

“You’re still gonna eat with us, yeah?” Harry asks as Louis starts down the hallway.

“Yeah…. Maybe,” Louis calls.

“I’m making something special,” Harry says, hoping it sounds enticing.

“I said maybe,” Louis calls back before his bedroom door shuts. Harry sighs and pushes himself off the sofa to start dinner.

 

Louis only comes out of his room when Nick drags him out of it for dinner. He isn’t even properly dressed, which is highly unusual of him. His face looks pale and his hair is wildly unkempt. Harry tries not to show his alarm at Louis’ haphazard appearance, instead giving the small omega a warm smile as he’s seated by his alpha. Louis doesn’t even smile back at him like he normally does.

“What did you make tonight, Harry?” Liam asks as he pulls out Zayn’s chair for him.

“Erm, a risotto with steamed broccoli,” Harry mumbles distractedly. “And there’s, um, biscuits for after.”

“It sounds great,” Zayn says, giving him a genuine smile that Harry only half-heartedly returns.

“It seems pretty fancy,” Amy says as Niall pulls out a chair for her, but she ignores his effort and pulls out a chair for herself. Niall, seeming deflated, sits in the chair he had pulled out for her. “Any reason for that?”

“No, not really,” Harry says, his gaze lingering on Louis for a fraction of a second longer. “Nothing special—”

“Actually,” says Nick, cutting Harry off. “I’ve gotten a promotion.” The dining room bursts with congratulations, leaving Harry with his mouth hanging open. He looks helplessly around the room. Niall catches his eye, giving him a sympathetic look as the room settles into a murmur of noise once again. Harry sighs and eats his dinner quietly, put out of the mood to talk.

Louis seems to be in a similar mood, hardly touching his food. Harry nudges his foot under the table, and Louis is slow in making eye contact with him. “You okay?” Harry asks and Louis gives a defeated shrug. “Not hungry,” he says. Louis flicks his gaze downward and Harry decides not to press the conversation any further.

“I’m tired,” Louis announces quietly in the lull of conversation. “I think I’m going to go to bed.”

Nick barks out a laugh. “What have you got to be tired from?” he asks. “You haven’t had a full day of hard work. What do you even do around here during the day?”

Louis’ cheeks burn a rosy red. “I’m just going to lie down,” he mumbles and disappears down the hall. Harry wants to hurry after him and make certain that everything is all right in his friend, but he can’t do that when Nick is staring at him funnily, so he just stays rooted to his seat, his gaze wandering down the hall to the closed door.

After a while, Nick announces that he’s going out for a drink and if anyone wanted to come with, they could. Amy jumps at the offer, with Niall reluctantly following suit. Liam agrees after a moment, looking to Zayn, who nods almost imperceptibly after a short moment of hesitation. He looks to Harry uncertainly. “Are you joining us, Harry?” he asks.

“I don’t think so, no,” Harry says with a sigh. “I have this mess to clean up,” he says, gesturing toward the table.

Liam frowns. “Why don’t you come out with us, Harry?” he asks. “You need a break.”

Harry finds his gaze drifting down the hall. He chews on his lip to make it look like he’s thinking it over, but his mind has been made since Nick made the offer. He shakes his head decisively. “Nah,” he says. “If I don’t get it done, no one will do it.”

Niall studies him steadfastly. “Are you sure?” he asks.

“Yeah,” Harry answers definitively.

Nick rolls his eyes. “If he wants to stay, let him,” he says. “We’ll have more fun without him anyway.” The others frown at this, but don’t say anything in Harry’s defense as they herd themselves toward the door and shrug on jackets.

“We’ll be back later, then,” Niall says after everyone has passed through the door.

“Bye,” Harry says half-heartedly. Niall gives him a quick nod before closing the door behind him, leaving Harry to himself.

Harry immediately abandons clearing the table and hurries down the hall to stand before Louis’ closed door. He hesitates in knocking just in case Louis is actually sleeping, but he knows his friend better than that.

“Lou?” he asks, rapping on the door. There’s a muffled groan and Harry sees it fit to open the door. Louis is huddled under the sheets, a miserable mess of a person. “Hey,” Harry coos. “What’s wrong?”

“I can’t do this, Harry,” Louis mumbles. “He drives me crazy—and in the not-good kind of way.”

Harry settles onto the bed next to him. “I know,” he says. “Why don’t we take your mind off him, yeah?”

Louis looks at him with disdain. “How do you propose we do that?” he asks flatly. “My entire life is now based around _him_.”

“Put your shoes and pants on, Lou,” Harry says with a clap. “We’re going out.”

This pulls Louis from his comforter cave. “Out?” he asks, smoothing down his rumpled hair.

“Yeah, out,” Harry says with a smile. “When was the last time you had a nice night out?”

“It’s been a while,” Louis admits lowly.

“Exactly,” Harry says. “I think you need this, Lou.”

Louis bites his lip. “I can’t go out looking like this,” he mutters, his fingers pulling at the hem of his shirt.

Harry scoots closer to him. “Take all the time you need,” Harry says. “We’ll leave whenever you’re ready. Okay?”

“Okay,” Louis agrees with a nod, a smile pulling at his lips.

Harry presses a kiss to his forehead. “See you soon,” he chuckles and leaves Louis to get himself ready. He’s beaming as he shuts the door because he’s seen an emotion other than numb written into Louis’ features. He’s proud of himself for coming up with that on the fly and slips into his own room to get himself ready.

 

Louis emerges from his room about an hour later freshly showered. He seems the liveliest and well-groomed Harry has seen him in the past month, clean-shaven and his fringe lying light and fluffy against his forehead. “Ready?” he asks, biting his lip.

“Yeah,” Harry answers with a grin as he hands Louis his jacket.

“Where are we going, Harry?” Louis asks after the silence of leaving the complex as Harry helps him into the SUV.

“Wherever you want to go,” Harry tells him simply.

Louis smiles at this as he hesitates in buckling himself in, welcoming the warmth in his stomach with open arms. “Actually, I’d really like to go on a walk,” he says.

“We can do that,” Harry says with a smile as he unbuckles. Louis beams at him, so utterly grateful for the boy sitting across from him.

Harry helps Louis out of the vehicle, offering his arm, which Louis slides his own through, blushing furiously. They walk arm and arm, talking softly about nothing and everything. Louis feels the most at ease he has in months, tilting his head back to watch Harry as he talks, not really listening to the words coming out of his mouth. He kicks a few pebbles out of his way, scaring a cat a few meters away.

“What do you think everyone would say if we brought home a cat?” he asks and Harry bursts into laughter. “Liam would have a heart attack,” he chortles. “He’d probably fly off the handle and babble on about fleas and ticks and hairballs.”

Louis laughs himself, trying to imagine Liam _not_ giving them a forty-five minute lecture. They’re both quiet for a moment, their breaths coming out in puffs of vapor. “Harry,” Louis murmurs after a while. “Thank you for—for everything today. I haven’t had anyone take care of me like that since I lived with my mother.”

“I’ll always look after you, Lou,” Harry assures him with a slight frown.

“I know,” Louis murmurs. “Thank you for that.”

They turn a corner and Harry catches sight of a sweet shop, and suddenly he’s found another way to improve Louis’ mood. “Hey, Lou,” he implores. “Wanna appease that sweet tooth of yours?”

Louis’ mouth quirks up into the tiniest smile, his eyes shining in the orange tint of the street lamps. “I guess,” he agrees timidly and Harry pushes open the door, letting Louis in in front of him. Harry goes straight for the hard candies, earning a snicker and some teasing about being an old man from Louis. Harry scowls at him, but on him it looks more like a pout.

Louis wanders away from Harry for just a moment, looking at the candied apples, and is almost immediately approached by a greasy-looking alpha with hooded, beady eyes. "You're the sweetest-smelling thing in here," he rumbles threateningly, "and this is a sweet shop."

"Please leave me alone," Louis whispers as he backs into a shelving unit, subtly searching for Harry over the displays. Fear floods his veins as the alpha encroaches on his space. Where the hell is Harry?! The alpha smirks as he cups a hand around Louis’ bum and Louis feels his face flush at the touch of an alpha. Biology is really testing his patience. He lets out a small whimper as the man breathes stale cigarette breath into his face, scrunching his nose in disgust at his blackened teeth.

Then suddenly, Harry seems to materialize next to Louis, reaching out and pulling him closer by his waist as he glares at the other alpha. "Beat it," he snarls, his fingers adding more gentle pressure to Louis' waist, drawing him even closer. The greasy alpha looks up at Harry, who has several inches on him, his nostrils flaring, and Louis fears that the offending alpha will notice that he and Harry aren't mated, but Harry narrows his eyes and the alpha rolls his own and slithers away to annoy the cashier.

Harry makes sure the other alpha is gone for good before turning his attention to Louis. "You're okay, yeah? He didn't touch you or anything?" he asks and Louis shakes his head, not wanting to send Harry into a rage. Relief floods Harry’s features. "Good," he says, his fingers tracing small shapes into Louis' waist. "Just stay close to me from now on, yeah?" Harry says, his hand falling to his side. Louis nods silently, threading his shaking fingers with Harry's.

Harry seems shocked for a microsecond before there's a lopsided grin plastered to his face. Louis feels butterflies in his stomach as he looks at Harry. Harry tugs them along the aisles, squeezing his hand every so often as he resumes his search for sweets. Louis couldn’t care less about the candies at the moment, looking up at Harry, who saved him from an unsavory alpha once again. His heart sinks to his toes with the realization that he’ll never have an alpha like Harry, and Harry’s match is going to be so lucky to have an alpha like him. Harry’s saying something to him now, but all Louis can do is stare back at him blankly.

"Lou?" Harry asks, looking concerned.

"Huh?” Louis asks.

"Did you hear me?"

Louis meekly shakes his head, color rising to his cheeks.

"I asked if you wanted some candy floss," Harry says gently and Louis smiles, nodding earnestly. Harry lets him pick the color, running his thumb over the back of his hand, and leads them to the front to pay. The alpha from before is hovering by the counter, gazing at Louis with glazed over eyes. Louis huddles into Harry's side as he pays, flipping his coat collar up to hide from the man's gaze. Harry takes up his hand again, flashes a glare at the alpha, and leads Louis out the door and into the crisp night air.

"That alpha was a right dick," Harry mutters as he passes Louis his blue candy floss. "You're bonded for fuck's sake; he should've been able to smell it on you." Harry drops his hand from Louis’, but it comes to rest on the small of his back, making Louis' insides melt. Harry’s jaw is a hard line as they walk, and he glares at other patrons a lot more than he probably should as Louis takes small bites of his candy floss. Harry is tense and stiff all over, but his hand on the small of Louis’ back is soft and gentle, and Louis’ heart tightens with fondness. He feels those butterflies again—wait, those aren't butterflies.

Louis pushes off of Harry and hurries to a trash bin, his stomach churning as it empties into the bin against his will. Harry hurries over, rubbing his back and cooing at him while the bile burns his throat and tears sting his eyes.

"C'mon, Lou, let's get you home," Harry murmurs after Louis has finished. "Maybe candy floss wasn't a good idea...."

Louis coughs into the bin one last time before retreating into Harry's side. He can feel Harry's chest rumble with laughter, so he pinches him. "Stop laughin' at me" he groans. "'m sick."

"I know, love," Harry assures. "You're just very cute when you're sick."

"I don't feel cute," Louis mutters. "I feel like I'm gonna yosh again."

Harry noses at the top of his head, chuckling into his hair. "Let's get you home," he says. "I'll set you up on the sofa with some blankets and a ginger ale. Sound good?"

"Yeah," Louis replies dryly, nuzzling further into Harry's side. "So much for a night out," he mutters bitterly. "Sorry I ruined it."

"You didn't ruin it, Lou," Harry titters. "I had fun talking with you."

Louis crinkles his nose at this, but doesn’t say anything for the rest of the walk home; mostly, he’s just trying not to vomit again. About halfway home, his bones ache far too much for him to continue, and he nearly collapses, but Harry swiftly scoops him into his arms and carries him the rest of the way.

“I love you,” Louis mumbles into Harry’s chest, counting the heartbeats thrumming against his ribs.

Harry shifts him in his arms, his mouth twitching for a second. “I love you too, mate,” he replies, his voice steady. Louis lets out a long sigh and closes his eyes, the motion of Harry’s stride lulling him to sleep.

 

He’s jostled awake a while later as Harry opens the door, wincing as the knob jiggles loudly. “Sorry,” Harry mutters. “I didn’t mean to wake you up.”

Louis yawns. “It’s okay,” he murmurs. “You can put me down now. I’m sure I was kind of heavy.”

“Nonsense,” Harry says as he pushes the door open with his foot, carrying Louis over the threshold. “You’re not heavy at all. And I don’t mind; you’re sick…. Would you be more comfortable in your bed or on the sofa?”

“Actually, can you put me in your bed?” Louis asks. He doesn’t want to be in the bed he shares with Nick, even if he has it to himself.

Harry frowns at the odd request, but says nothing about it as he obliges. Louis lets his eyes fall shut with a sigh as Harry carries him down the hallway to his own room. “Make yourself comfy, Lou,” Harry murmurs as he gently lowers him into the nest of a bed he didn’t bother making this morning. Louis makes a noise of acknowledgement, burrowing his face into the pillows. “I’ll be back with some crackers and a ginger ale, all right?”

Louis mumbles his acknowledgement and Harry quietly makes his way out of the room, but flies down the hallway and into the kitchen, where he pillages their cupboards for all the things that will make Louis feel better.

He makes his way back to his room, balancing a heavy-laden tray. On it is a pot of tea, a mug for said tea, chicken noodle soup, saltine crackers, water, ginger ale, orange juice, and a few tablets to bring down a fever. “Louis,” he calls softly as he pushes open the door, unsure of whether or not the omega had fallen asleep. Louis is buried in the sheets, wrapped up tight in them like a caterpillar in the midst of evolution. His breathing is soft and even, but he makes a sound to prove he’s awake. Harry bustles over and carefully sets the tray on the nightstand. “Do you want anything?” he asks. “I have soup and tea for you.”

“Tea is great, thanks,” Louis mumbles, his eyes opening only a sliver of the way. He pushes himself up, Harry fluffing up the pillows for him to lean against before pouring him his tea. “Thank you,” Louis murmurs as Harry presses the mug into his hands.

“No problem,” Harry replies, rubbing at Louis’ shin under the sheets. “I just want you feeling better.”

Louis smiles weakly at him before hiding it behind his mug. They sit in a comfortable silence, with Harry gently massaging Louis' ankles under the sheets as he sips his tea. "Thank you for taking care of me," Louis murmurs, setting his tea aside and settling back down into the mattress.

Harry gives him a small smile and reaches over to draw the sheets up the omega's chest. "Do you need anything else?" he asks softly.

Louis shakes his head, but murmurs, "I'm just cold."

Harry tucks the blankets closer to his body, making sure he’s snug. "I'm heading to the sofa," he says. "If you need anything—"

"Can you stay?" Louis asks, wide-eyed.

Harry is slightly surprised, but nods anyway and clambers into the bed, snuggling up behind Louis, nosing at his hair. "You smell kind of different," he mumbles after a while and he can feel Louis' body stiffen. "Different how?" he asks softly.

"I dunno," Harry says, inhaling deeply. "It's really faint; I can't put my finger on it." Louis lets out a sigh, his muscles relaxing. "And it's a good different, if you were wondering," Harry adds. Louis lets out another sigh, and soon enough, his breathing is deep and even. Harry lets his eyelids droop, pressing his nose further into Louis’ neck before drifting off himself.

 

Harry is jolted awake to the sound of a vehicle pulling into the drive. His eyes flash open to the headlights shining on the wall through the window. “Shit,” he mutters under his breath and moves to wake Louis, but he’s rolled over in his sleep because he’s curled into Harry’s chest. He can’t let Nick come home to find Louis in his bed. With Harry. That would just cause even more trouble for the both of them. Plus, Liam will just give him a smug look about being right and Harry can’t stand that. “Louis, wake up,” he says, jostling him lightly.

Louis only groans in response, snuggling further into Harry’s chest.

Harry sighs, gently shaking his friend awake. “We can’t be found in the same bed,” he says. “It’s not gonna look good.”

Louis wrinkles his nose, muttering that he’s too comfortable, so Harry shimmies out of bed and scoops Louis into his arms, Louis whimpering at the loss of the warmth of the cocoon they’d made. Harry ignores this and deposits him in his own bed, drawing the covers over him. He’s just slipping out of Louis’ room when the front door opens and the others pour in, their cheeks flushed and noses red from the cold.

“Hey, Harry,” Zayn greets, apparently the only sober one, as he tosses the keys into the bowl and helps Liam out of his jacket.

“Hi,” he returns tiredly.

“You didn’t do anything!” Liam laughs, pointing at the table, apparently amused by Harry’s lack of doing chores.

Harry frowns at the table. “Louis got sick,” he explains.

“What?” Nick asks, pushing Amy and Niall aside, Niall shooting him a dirty look as Amy knocks into the closet door.

“Louis got sick again,” Harry repeats, feeling exasperated. “He’s sleeping right now. He had some tea earlier, so I think—”

“Yes, thank you very much for your efforts,” Nick says sarcastically, complete with an exaggerated eye roll as he pushes past Harry to get to his room.

Harry looks to Zayn, who gives him a shrug as he ushers Liam down the hall to keep him from tripping over his own two feet. “This one had a little too much,” Zayn mutters dryly. “And he _promised_ me he wouldn’t drink tonight.”

“Sorry,” Harry murmurs and Zayn just sighs, shaking his head at his drunken alpha.

Zayn gives him a calculating look. “You should get some sleep, Harry, if you’ve been up all night taking care of Louis.”

“I’m fine,” Harry says, waving him off in disregard.

“If you say so,” Zayn says and nudges Liam down the hall.

Harry sighs and trudges to his own room, flopping down onto the mattress face first, letting out another long sigh along with all his frustrations. Spending all that time with Louis, just the two of them together and _laughing_ together was like surfacing after an underwater breath-holding contest.

It’s so stupid and utterly pathetic but _of course_ Harry would pine after Louis even after he had been matched with some alpha. Harry huffs into his sheets, not caring that his breath hits him in the face as soon as he lets it out. Louis was all smiles, despite getting sick those few times, and that’s all Harry ever wants to see; Louis smile lights up his entire world. Fuck, _Louis_ is his entire world—no, his entire _universe_ , galaxies and all. It’s tragically ironic and downright unfair that someone as genuine and caring as Louis was matched with someone like Nick. Louis deserves the fucking sun, and fate gave him a pile of dirt.

Harry wishes he could just bottle his feelings and throw the bottle out the window, let some poor sap find it and deal with the mess of them. He should not be feeling the way he does about Louis, but that's his _best friend_ being treated like trash, and he can't sit back and watch that happen to Louis.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!! i hope you liked it!!!  
> thoughts? :)
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> [tumblr](http://dirtshag.tumblr.com/)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> special thanks to [xslinthead](http://archiveofourown.org/users/xslinthead) for betaing this for me! this took me way too long to update, but i've been uber busy and i'm sorry. :c
> 
> please don't be mad have some angst
> 
> trigger warning for miscarriage and manipulation

Louis wakes up to a cold room in a cold bed. He pushes himself up groggily, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. It’s barely dawn; the bluish light filtering through the shades is enough to light his way to the door without tripping over anything. The light in the kitchen is on and someone is rummaging around the cupboards. Louis’ head is foggy, so he presses against the wall to steady himself as he steps into the kitchen.

Nick is rummaging through the fridge, toast hanging out of his unshaven mouth. He startles slightly when he notices Louis’ presence. “What are you doing up?” he asks and Louis just watches him blankly. “I have to go,” Nick says, rolling his eyes as Louis stares at him with sad eyes. “I can’t stay.”

“You promised,” Louis whispers, holding the wall for support.

“I made no such promise,” Nick hisses. “I told you that I’d find a way around it. How many times have I told you that? This is my career on the line. I can’t keep this promotion if I don’t go. I can’t just drop everything for you, especially when I have three very important meetings on the other side of the globe within the next two weeks.”

Louis swallows hard, the tears stinging his eyes as he pulls together the courage to say his next words. “It’s not my fault if something happens, then,” he says icily.

Nick freezes, staring at him. “Don’t you try to guilt me out of doing my job,” he says. “Besides, I stopped by the pharmacy and picked up some medication that should help you while I’m not here.”

“It’s not the same. You and I both know that,” Louis murmurs.

Nick rolls his eyes. “Honestly, Louis,” he drawls. “I think I know more about these kinds of things than you do.” Louis’ jaw drops and Nick walks over to him to place his hands on both his shoulders, Louis squirming under his gaze. “Look, the stuff has been tested. It’s perfectly safe. You’ll be _fine._ ”

“You can’t possibly know that for sure,” Louis says in exasperation.

“Listen to me,” Nick says softly, “I know what’s good for you. Amy will help you with it; she used to be a nurse, so she’ll know exactly what to do.”

“It feels so wrong,” Louis mutters, crossing his arms over his chest.

“You’ll be fine,” Nick assures him. “Just do as you’re told and everything will be fine. Okay?”

“Okay,” Louis mumbles, though he doesn’t want to agree with Nick.

“I have to go now,” Nick says. “My flight leaves at six in the morning and it’s going to take about an hour to get to the airport.” He squeezes Louis’ shoulders and releases him from his grip, and then there’s the slam of the front door, leaving Louis to stand in the middle of the kitchen alone.

He takes a deep breath and scurries into Harry’s room, burrowing into the sleep-warm sheets next to the snoozing alpha. Harry makes a groaning noise as he wakes, Louis’ cold toes pressing against his warm calves. “Lou?” Harry asks groggily. “Is that you?”

“Yeah,” Louis mumbles, nuzzling closer into Harry’s warmth.

Harry hooks an arm around him, despite the coolness of his skin, holding him close. “What’s wrong?” he asks. “You’re shaking like a leaf.”

“Nothing,” Louis mutters. “I just had a bad dream.”

“Again?” Harry asks. “I thought those went away.”

“Harry, my life has become one,” Louis whispers.

“I’m so sorry, Louis,” Harry whispers as Louis shudders against him. Harry rests his chin on Louis’ shoulder, tracing patterns into his hip. His breathing is deep and even, and Louis fears that he’s fallen back to sleep, but then Harry starts humming in his ear and Louis can’t take it anymore.

He rolls over to face Harry in the dim light. “Nick’s away on business for the next two weeks,” Louis tells him. “I don’t know how to feel about that.”

Louis feels Harry stiffen against him, his breathing shallow. “You’ll be rid of him for two weeks. That’s good, yeah?” Harry says, reaching out a hand to push Louis’ fringe out of his eyes. Louis just sighs into Harry’s chest, warmth spreading through his limbs as Harry holds him tighter. He wishes he could feel this kind of warmth from Nick; perhaps then everything wouldn’t be as painful.

Louis is asleep when Harry opens his eyes to the light of day. He looks so peaceful and unperturbed in his sleep, with his lashes fluttering against his cheeks as he dreams, his lips parted slightly and his small hands balled up against Harry’s chest. Harry doesn’t dare wake him. Instead, he disentangles himself from Louis, who whimpers slightly in his sleep, and tiptoes out of the room and into the living room, where he’s greeted by several pairs of anxious looking eyes.

“Is Louis in there?” Amy asks, her eyes wide.

“Yeah,” Harry breathes, looking around the room. “Why? What’s wrong?”

“We thought he’d disappeared,” says Zayn, swallowing hard. “He and Nick had a bit of a row this morning before he left.”

“A row?” Harry asks, crinkling his brow. Zayn nods. “What for?” Harry asks.

“Apparently Louis didn’t want him to go on his trip,” Zayn says, crossing his arms huffily. “I don’t blame him.” Liam gives him a frown and moves closer to him, snaking an arm around his waist. Zayn hesitates before leaning into him and resting his head on his mate’s shoulder.

“Why?” Harry asks, looking around the room. Apparently, everyone knows something he doesn’t. Niall opens his mouth to say something, but he doesn’t get the chance.

“Harry?” Louis mumbles groggily as he steps out of Harry’s room, a blanket slung around his shoulders. “Are you coming back to bed?” He scrubs at his eyes and blinks in the brighter light, surprised by all the others watching him carefully. “Oh,” he squeaks.

“Louis, there you are,” Amy says, sounding relieved. “Nick said you needed some help?”

“Oh,” Louis repeats, his shoulders sagging. “Yeah.” She ushers him into his own room, gently closing the door behind them, leaving the others to exchange worried looks.

“What’s going on?” Harry asks as Niall claps Liam on the shoulder.

“We’d better be going, mate,” Niall says and Liam nods curtly before pressing a quick kiss to Zayn’s cheek.

“Bye, love,” he says, Zayn fighting the smile working its way onto his lips.

“Stay out of trouble,” he tells Liam, who winks at him and meets Niall, who shakes his head at them as he waits for Liam at the door.

Harry looks to Zayn helplessly. “What’s going on?” he asks again.

Zayn shakes his head. “You should let him tell you,” he says. “It’s not fair to Louis.”

“What?” Harry asks in exasperation. He’s getting tired of everyone acting so cryptic this morning.

Zayn claps him on the shoulder. “Wait for Louis to tell you,” he says and Harry lets out a heaving sigh as Zayn walks down the hall. Amy slips out of Louis’ room, giving Harry a small smile before scurrying toward the door.

“Can you look after him?” she asks. “I have to get to work.”

“Sure,” Harry complies.

“Just make sure he gets some sleep and drinks enough water,” she says, shrugging on her coat.

“Got it,” Harry says with a forced smile.

“He’s fine,” she assures him. “Really, he is. You don’t have to worry.”

Harry nods understandingly but his heart is slamming against his ribs. _I’ll always worry about Louis_ , he thinks. Amy flashes him a smile and hurries out the door. Harry snaps into action and hurries down the hall to Louis’ room, quietly opening the door. Louis is fast asleep in his bed, huddled under the sheets. Harry carefully makes his way over and perches himself on the edge of Louis’ mattress. Amy said he needed his rest, so Harry doesn’t wake him. He sits there, watching Louis as he sleeps, the fact that the act of watching another person sleep is creepy only crossing his mind a number of times. Louis hasn’t gotten any better within the past week; he still throws up a lot and he’s complained about headaches far too often for Harry’s liking, so he’s not letting Louis out of his sight.

Louis stirs and Harry holds his breath. Louis doesn’t wake, but shifts his position, huddling further into the blankets. Harry lets his breath out and longs to reach out to rub Louis’ back, but the omega needs his rest. Harry desperately wants to know what’s wrong with his friend. He’s also kind of sad that everyone else seems to know what’s wrong with him, and Louis has yet to tell him—and they’re best friends. Louis stretches his legs, so Harry moves to get a chair to sit on instead, pulling it up near Louis’ head. He takes one of Louis’ hands in his and traces patterns into the wrist, just hoping Louis knows that someone’s watching out for him.

 

He must have fallen asleep because he jerks awake when Louis’ hand slips from his. “Harry?” Louis asks groggily.

“Lou!” Harry whisper-yells. “Are you feeling okay?” Louis mumbles something and Harry leans over to push his hair back, doting on him. “Take it easy, mate,” he murmurs.

“Harry,” Louis starts, his voice barely a croak.

“Shhh,” Harry shushes him. “I’ll bring you some water. Amy said you’d need a lot.”

“But Harry—”

“I’ll be right back, Lou,” Harry promises him and darts out of the room to get Louis his water. Louis has pushed himself up by the time Harry returns, but it seems to have taken him a lot of effort. “You okay?” Harry asks as he hands Louis his water. Louis just nods and takes tiny sips.

“Harry,” he says after a while.

“Yeah?”

“I know I’ve been acting strange lately, and that you’ve been worrying about me.”

“You’ve been giving me a bit of fright, actually,” Harry says not unkindly to keep the conversation light.

“I’m so sorry I haven’t told you. Please don’t be mad at me,” Louis says, his eyes tearing up slightly.

“I won’t be mad, Louis, I promise,” Harry says, taking Louis’ hand in his again, giving his fingers a gentle squeeze of reassurance.

Louis swallows hard, watching Harry’s fingers as they massage his hand. “I…,” he pauses, letting out a sigh. “I’m—I’m pregnant.”

Harry fish-mouths for a moment. "Y-you are?" he asks shakily, his hand slipping from Louis’. "Congratulations,” he mutters, his muscles stiffening.

"Harry," Louis murmurs, reaching for his hand again, but Harry moves it further from his reach.

"How far along are you?"

"Six weeks," Louis mumbles.

"And he left you on your own?" Harry growls.

"Yes," Louis squeaks. "I begged him not to go, but he said his job was more important."

"Oh, Lou," Harry murmurs, his resolve crumbling, and cups Louis' face in his hands, thumbing away his silent tears.

"He left me with this medication to help while he's gone, but it doesn't seem to be helping yet," Louis says quietly. “It’s supposed to mimic alpha pheromones or something like that and it’s only available through injection. That’s what Amy’s helping me with.”

"Louis, you need to stop taking those injections," Harry says. "You could get really sick."

"He said they’ve been tested," Louis murmurs. "And if I don't take them, I'll lose it."

"Louis, listen to me," Harry says levelly. "You don't know what that stuff could do to you. Your life is more important than that pup's right now."

" _Harry_ ," Louis gasps.

"I know that sounds bad, but I—we can't lose you, Lou," Harry says. "If Nick really wanted it he'd stick around."

Louis swallows hard. "I don't want to kill it," he whimpers.

"It wouldn't be your fault, Louis," Harry tells him. "It'd be Nick's fault since he up and left you on your own. A good alpha stays with their omega during their pregnancy."

"He'd be so mad, Harry," Louis murmurs, wringing his hands. "He'd know I didn't take the injections like he specifically told me to."

"It's his own fault, Louis," Harry says firmly. "He should've thought this through."

"I don't know if I could live with myself if I killed my own pup," Louis whispers, pressing a trembling hand to his stomach.

"Louis, that pup was not your choice," Harry says lowly.

Louis leans against Harry, burrowing into his chest.  "What am I gonna do, Harry?" Louis sobs into the alpha's chest.

“I dunno, Lou,” Harry murmurs, pressing a kiss to the top of his head.

***

Louis wakes up a few days later with a dull ache spreading through his bones, but he dismisses it as having slept strangely. His face is pale when when he catches sight of his reflection, his eyes are dull and his lips are chapped from how often he's been chewing them.

He turns the water hot, almost to the point of scalding. It turns his skin pink and soothes the ache in his bones; he wishes it would do something for the mood he’s in. He dresses himself in a hoodie and his softest sweatpants, not really planning on going anywhere today since his head is in such a fog. When he finally wanders into the kitchen, there’s a note on the counter that tells him Harry has stepped out for groceries and will be back soon,  leaving him on his own.

Louis sighs and flops down on the sofa, switching on the television to catch up on his shows. He can’t seem to focus today, and the noise gets to be too much after a short time. He resorts to switching it off and fiddling with his phone when Harry returns bearing many sacks of groceries.

“Lou?” he calls gently and Louis pushes off the sofa to meet him in the kitchen.

“Hey,” he greets, hugging his arms around himself.

Harry smiles at him. “Finally up, huh?” he asks lightly, making Louis roll his eyes.

“Did you get anything good?” he asks, digging through one of the bags Harry sat on the counter.

“No way, uh-uh.” Harry gently hip checks him out of the way, pursing his lips down at him as he swipes the bag of crisps Louis had pulled from the bag from him. “I picked up some fruit and veggies for you,” he says, nodding to Louis’ stomach. Louis feels his cheeks redden as he crosses his arms over his middle. “You need that stuff.”

Louis frowns up at him. “I don’t need you to take care of me,” he says huffily and Harry shrugs.

“Who’s going to take care of you if I don’t?” Harry asks, ignoring Louis’ glare. “Besides, I don’t mind it. 'S practice for when I get my mate, yeah?”

Louis’ face falls at his, his eyes dropping to the floor. “Yeah,” he murmurs. “I guess.”

Harry nudges him gently. “Hey,” he murmurs. “What’s wrong?”

Louis shakes his head. “It’s nothing,” he mutters, grimacing at the look of concern on Harry’s features. He sighs, rubbing his temples as he shivers. “I’ve got a major headache.”

“Come with me,” Harry says, herding Louis into the living room. Louis sheepishly stumbles in front of him, so Harry holds his hips to steady him, gently sitting him on the sofa. Harry has him lie down, feeling his forehead. "You're burning up," he says, concern pulling his brows together. "You're not still taking those injections, are you?"

Louis strains against a sudden cramp, his back arching against the sofa and sweat beading down his burning forehead. "No," he grunts and Harry's eyes widen. He thought for sure that Louis would do as Nick said and take the medication, no matter the ill effects to himself. He feels a twisted sense of pride and fear; Louis had listened to him, but now he's experiencing the effects of Harry's advice. Louis pants out a groan, curling in on himself, his fingers curling against his stomach. "Harry, it hurts," he whimpers.

"I know it does," Harry soothes, running a hand through the shaking omega's hair. "I think your body is going through withdrawal."

Louis' eyes pop open, wide and scared. "Then that means—" He's cut off by his own cry of pain. Harry moves to scoop Louis into his arms and take him to the hospital, but Louis begs for him to stop. "Don't take me to the hospital," he whispers, as if he read Harry’s mind. "They'll just inject me with more of those artificial pheromones."

"Louis, you're bleeding," Harry says brokenly. There’s a lot of blood on the sofa cushion, and Louis is beginning to look really pale. If he doesn’t get to the hospital soon, Louis will need a blood transfusion. "I’m taking you to the hospital," Harry says and scoops the omega into his arms.

“Harry, please,” Louis pleads, struggling against the alpha’s hold. “Don’t make me go.”

“You could die if you don’t get help,” Harry tells him harshly, his features hard, making Louis freeze to stare at him. Harry’s breathing is uneven. If something were to happen to Louis, if he were to _die_ —

“I don’t want to die, Harry,” Louis whispers, his eyes frozen wide with fear.

“I’m not gonna let that happen to you,” Harry tells him, his face softening along with his voice. “You have to trust me, Lou.”

“I do trust you,” Louis mumbles, his eyelids drooping. His lashes are dark against his unusually pale skin. He mumbles something else, but Harry’s ears are pounding with the blood rushing through his ears as he barrels through the living room and to the SUV to get Louis to the hospital.

Ten minutes of speeding later, Harry carries Louis into the hospital and a nurse in pink scrubs hurries over. "What's wrong with him?" she asks, waving over a few more staff wielding a gurney.

“I think he’s in the middle of a miscarriage,” Harry mutters as she helps him lower Louis’ shaking body onto the gurney, Louis jostled awake in the process.

"I-I'm so scared, Harry," he half cries, clutching at the fabric of the alpha’s sleeves.

"Shhh, Lou," Harry soothes. "You're gonna be okay. They're gonna take good care of you." Louis trembles violently on the gurney, his fingers reaching for Harry’s. All Harry can do for him is interlock his own with Louis’ shaking ones.

He trots along next to Louis as the nursing staff hurries him down the hall to surgery. One of them stops him at the double doors and Harry screams and kicks, throwing a proper tantrum because it’s _Louis_ , but he’s restrained by guards and taken to a room to sit in solitude for about forty-five minutes before a doctor opens the door.

“Mr. Tomlinson,” she says warily.

“Styles,” Harry says thickly. “Louis and I aren’t married.” He leaves out the information that he and Louis aren’t even mates to begin with.

“Have you calmed down now?” she asks and Harry nods sullenly, too afraid to meet her eyes. “I’m afraid we couldn’t save the pup,” she says softly, her eyes dropping down to her clipboard. “Louis has suffered from an incomplete spontaneous abortion. We’ve managed to remove what was left of the fetus, but—”

Harry raises his eyes to meet hers. “What about Louis?” he asks quietly.

“He’s recovering at the moment, but he’s been asking for you. Would you like to see him?”

“Yes, please,” he mutters and pushes himself to his feet. The doctor leads him through the hallway, and it seems much too long to Harry. After what seems like hours, the doctor pushes open a door and nods to him, letting him know that it’s all right to enter the room.

Louis is laid on the hospital bed, his back to the door as Harry slips into the room. There’s a tray of food and water at his bedside that looks like it hasn’t been touched.

“Lou?” Harry ventures softly. He gets a sniffle in response. “How are you doing?”

Louis shifts on the bed, tugging the paper thin sheets tighter around his body, though they don’t offer any more warmth. “I can’t believe I did that,” he whispers hoarsely. “I killed my own pup.”

“Lou, no, please don’t do that to yourself,” Harry pleads, sitting on the space of the bed Louis isn’t occupying, which is a lot. “It’s not your fault.”

“It is, though,” Louis whispers brokenly. “I should’ve obeyed Nick’s orders and kept taking those injections.”

“Louis, they could’ve been dangerous for all you know,” Harry murmurs.

Louis rolls over to glare at him. “Shut up,” he growls, taking Harry aback. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Louis—”

“I killed my own pup,” Louis hisses.

“But I thought you didn’t want it?” Harry asks in a small voice.

Louis’ look is vicious. “I didn’t,” he grits out, “but I can’t help how I feel about losing it. It’s all my fault, Harry,” he sobs. “ _I killed it_.”

Harry lies down behind him, wrapping Louis in his arms as he shakes with silent sobs. They stay that way for a long, long time, with Harry pressing tiny kisses to the back of Louis’ neck and breathing small reassurances against his skin.

Louis falls asleep after a while, but Harry is wide awake. He doesn’t know how to feel about what has happened. After all, he was the one that convinced Louis to stop taking those injections. If anything, Harry is the one to blame for Louis’ miscarriage. That doesn’t sit well in Harry’s heart, his stomach sinking to his toes as he presses closer to Louis’ body. Gingerly, he brushes his fingers against Louis’ stomach, tracing the red and scraggly line from his surgery. He feels like crying.

He knows that Louis is asleep, but he feels the need to say it. “None of this was your fault,” he whispers. “It’s all my fault. Don’t blame yourself for this, Louis. I was stupid and jealous and it’s ridiculous that I even told you to do this. I’m so sorry.”

Harry doesn’t feel like he deserves to hold Louis like he is, so he slips very reluctantly away and sinks into the chair in the corner of the room. It’s hard enough to get comfortable enough for sleep in a chair, but with his heavy conscious looming over him like a dark cloud, Harry doesn’t get a single wink.

***

The next morning, Harry opens his eyes, feeling stiff and sore from being folded up in the chair all night. Louis is propped up on the bed, his eyes dull and sunken. A nurse is taking his blood pressure while another redresses his incision. The doctor from the day before walks into the room, smiling when she sees Harry.

“Could I have a word with you, Mr. Styles?” she asks.

Harry nods and gets to his feet, following her out the door. “Is there something wrong?” he asks.

“We found traces of extremely potent drugs in Louis’ system after his blood work was done. Since you’re his mate, I want to ask you a few questions.”

Harry’s eyes widen. “I’m not Louis’ mate,” he confesses quickly.

The doctor raises her brows at him. “You’re not the father?” she asks.

Harry shakes his head, his eyes wide. “Louis is my best friend. We’re not mates. Louis’s mated to an alpha called Nick Grimshaw—”

“The lawmaker?” she asks.

Harry nods, wetting his lips. “That’s the one. He’s been away on business the past week and had Louis take these drugs that mimic alpha pheromones so he wouldn’t lose the pup.”

The doctor stares at him. “Are you serious?” she asks hoarsely.

Again, Harry nods. “And I, erm, told him to stop taking them in case there were serious side effects.”

She lets out a relieved breath of air. “Thank God you did,” she says. “Those drugs haven’t been approved. They’ve barely been tested.”

“What?” Harry asks, his blood going cold.

The doctor wrings her hands. “Yes,” she nods, her eyes darting around the hallway. “They have very serious side effects, including miscarriage.”

“So it’s not my fault?” Harry whispers, a weight lifting from his shoulders.

The doctor nods. “Nor is it Louis’ fault,” she says. “It’s natural for him to feel grief over his loss, but you’ll have to do your best to comfort him. He’ll seem inconsolable at times, but he will get better. He just needs a lot of support.”

Harry nods. “I’ll do whatever I can to help him recover,” he promises.

 

All Louis does for the remainder of his stay at the hospital is alternate between sleeping and staring out the window with sad eyes. Harry remains in the chair, staring up at the ceiling and fiddling with his phone every now and then, but the room is constantly silent. Even when their friends show up, it’s eerily quiet. They’re led in by Niall, with Amy right behind him, brandishing flowers to brighten the room. Harry knows they’ll do nothing to lighten the mood.

It’s quiet when they shrug off their jackets, with Liam and Zayn shuffling over to the side of Louis’ bed as Amy flutters about the room, intent on finding the perfect place for the flowers, Niall following her every move.

Louis shifts on the mattress, opening his eyes to find the room full of people. He’s not ready for people. He can barely cope with just _Harry_ in the room.

Niall presses forward, but keeps a respectful distance. “How’re you doing, buddy?” he asks.

“Okay.” Louis chooses to respond with this instead of _I feel like my heart has shattered into billions of pieces._ Amy reaches out to hold his hand, and Louis lets her.

“It’s going to be all right, Louis,” she promises, giving him a gentle smile. Fuck that. No, nothing is going to be _all right_. He intentionally killed his baby simply to make a point. He’s a monster. Louis wrenches his hand from her grasp and rolls over to face the window. He’d like to pretend that he’d done it out of anger, but in actuality, he did it so that the others wouldn’t see him cry again.

“I think this is a little much for him,” Harry says, getting to his feet. As much as Louis wants to be angry with Harry, the other boy knows him much too well. Deep down, he knows he'll be eternally grateful for Harry. “Louis’s been through a lot; I think he just needs some space for a little while.”

The others mumble their assent, shrugging back on their coats.

“Harry, can I see you in the hallway?” Liam asks and Louis can hear Harry sigh.

“Sure, Li,” Harry says tiredly, and there’s the squeak of shoes on the linoleum, and the door is closed. Louis quietly sobs into his pillow.

 

“What exactly happened?” Liam asks once everyone is out of the room.

Harry wets his lips nervously. “Louis stopped taking those injections,” he admits.

Liam raises his brows, his eyes wide. “That’s not like Louis to disobey an alpha,” he says.

Harry looks down. “I, um, might have mentioned to him that he shouldn’t’ve been taking them in the first place,” he mutters.

“Harry,” Liam sighs, rubbing his face. “You’ve _got_ to promise me you’ll stop getting between them.”

“It’s not like that, Liam,” Harry says, his ears turning red. “Louis is my best friend. He needed help.”

Liam shakes his head. “Not something like this, Harry,” he says with conviction. “This is an issue a mated couple needs to discuss. It was none of your business to get involved.”

Harry’s jaw drops. “Don’t you care about Louis?” he asks.

“Of course I do.” Liam is quick to say so, but his eyes are hard.

“He could’ve gotten really sick if he kept taking those drugs, Li,” Harry says. “We don’t know where they came from.”

“Nick got them from the pharmacy,” Liam says in exasperation, rolling his eyes. “Honestly, Harry, do you really think Nick would give Louis something that hadn’t been tested?”

Harry crosses his arms over his chest defensively. “No,” he huffs angrily. It’s a lie. Nick can't be trusted, always jetting off to some far away land. Who knows where he really got those drugs? Harry's heard speculations of the presence of highly dangerous drug lords in Rome and Los Angeles, and none of them really know where Nick goes on his 'business' trips.

He must be making quite a face because Liam places a hand on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze. “Louis will be okay, Harry,” he says.  “Just give him some time.” And with that, he pats Harry’s shoulder and walks away, linking his fingers with Zayn’s as they and Niall and Amy walk off down the hall. Harry watches them for a moment before slipping back into Louis’ room. Louis seems to have fallen back to sleep, so Harry folds himself into the uncomfortable visitor's chair until later that evening when he heads to the cafeteria for food. Hoping he'll be more responsive, Harry brings back a tea for Louis, who lets it sit on his bedside untouched.

***

Louis is discharged from the hospital the next morning, but his hands shake so badly that he can’t sign any of the paperwork, so Harry does it for him. The receptionists watch them sadly as Louis hovers by Harry’s side, quaking even though he’s bundled in his own and Harry’s coat. It takes a while since Harry's not Louis' alpha; the paperwork that he fills out now will have to be reviewed and resubmitted by Nick when he gets back from his trip. As he signs the last slip, Harry gives Louis a small smile and ushers him out the door.

Harry is silent on the drive home, his knuckles white as he grips the steering wheel. Louis just stares out the window, wanting nothing more than to disappear.

“Louis, it wasn’t your fault,” Harry murmurs. Louis huffs in response, hunkering further into the seat. “Really, Louis, it wasn’t,” Harry insists.

“ _Just shut up!_ ” Louis hisses, whipping his head around to glare at him. “You don’t know what it’s like.”

“Louis, those drugs—”

“Would’ve kept my baby alive,” Louis snarls. “You’re the one that told me to stop taking them. It’s your fault.”

“Those drugs caused it, Louis!” Harry shouts, making Louis startle at the volume of his voice. “It wasn’t that you _stopped_ taking them, it’s that you _started_ taking them.”

“What are you saying, Harry?” Louis whispers, feeling the tears pool in his eyes.

“Your doctor pulled me aside yesterday morning,” Harry sighs. “She said they found traces of an illegal drug in your system.”

“Illegal?” Louis breathes.

“Those drugs weren’t tested, Lou,” Harry tells him. “They’re what killed your pup. Not you.”

Louis is silent for a moment. His entire world has come crashing down on him; it’s hard to breathe. Louis' fingers rake at his chest, itching to tear his own heart out if he must. His chest is heaving and his vision is getting cloudy, but he can sense that Harry has pulled the vehicle to the side of the road and is now leaning over to hold him in his long arms and comfort him, but Louis is gagging for air.

He pushes away from Harry and fumbles with the door handle before thrusting it open and scrambling out of the vehicle, his feet taking him wherever. He stumbles as he blearily runs through the rubble, his legs giving way as he falls to his hands and knees, gravel cutting his palms and knees. He cries out in pain pitifully, sobs wracking his body as he lets out blood curdling scream after blood curdling scream until his throat is raw. Then, there's long, burly arms wrapping around him and no matter how much he struggles, they don't let him go. There's a voice whispering things in his ear and his resolve crumbles, reducing him to a sobbing mess of a person in the arms of another.

Whispers and kisses are pressed into his hair, and he's vaguely aware that he's being carried back to the car. He's set gently in the seat and buckled up tightly and that's all he remembers before he's opening his eyes to find that Harry is carrying him through the bathroom door.

"Harry?" he asks groggily.

"You passed out, Lou," Harry says gravelly as he sets him on the toilet. "You've got some cuts we need to take a look at." Louis' limbs go pliant as Harry tugs down his trousers to reveal the deep gashes in his knees from when he collapsed. "This is gonna sting," Harry warns before dabbing at the cuts with a cold, damp cotton ball. Louis writhes on the toilet lid and bites back a yelp. Harry looks up at him apologetically as he dresses his cuts.

"I'm sorry I'm such a burden," Louis whispers, tears falling down his cheeks.

"Oh, none of that," Harry says gently, thumbing away the tears. "You're not a burden, Louis," he tells him.

"I feel like one," Louis mutters with a sniffle. "Don't know why you all put up with me."

"We love you," Harry says simply. "That's what family does. Now let me clean up your hands." Louis lets Harry take hold of his hands and he can't help but notice how much bigger they are than his own. They're rough and calloused, but they radiate warmth and gentleness more than that. He feels safe in Harry’s hands.

He cringes when Harry disinfects his abrasions, but other than that he's the stillest he has been in a long time. Harry carefully bandages him up, even presses a kiss to one of his wrists before flashing him a warm smile. "All done, Lou," he says, helping Louis to his feet. "Let's get you into bed, yeah?" Louis nods silently as Harry helps him down the hall to his room, where Louis' pajamas are laid out on the mattress. Harry turns away to give Louis some privacy to change, and Louis is slow in his movements, all of his bones aching. He sits on the bed, the springs creaking slightly, and Harry turns around, giving him a gentle smile.

He helps Louis into bed, tugging the sheets up to his shoulders. "Just call out if you need anything, okay, Lou?" Harry asks, running a hand through Louis' mess of hair. Louis nods mutely. "Get some rest now, buddy," Harry says and slips out of the room, leaving Louis to himself.

***

Louis stays buried in his sheets most days, his bones aching and his conscious heavy on his mind. His eyes are tired and dry, but he cries silently nearly all day. He doesn't eat or speak with anyone, even when someone is sent in. He feels disgusted with himself and so damn useless. All he wants to do is scream, but he has long since lost his voice. When he is able to sleep, the only other activity he partakes in other than staring listlessly off into space, he dreams of pup after pup, like his subconscious is mocking him—or guilting him. He jolts awake each time, his hands clenched over his stomach as he gasps for air. He's certain that he screams during the night, but Harry never comes rushing in to make it better. Louis isn't sure which hurts more.

After a week, he's managed to work himself up to sitting against the headboard instead of curled under the sheets when Harry pokes his head in. "Lou?" he asks softly. "Can we talk?" Louis says nothing but slides over on the bed so Harry can sit by him. "Listen, Louis," Harry starts as he sits. "We've all been really worried about you lately. I know what happened was really traumatic for you, but—"

"Shut up," Louis growls, tugging the sheets up around him as if they could shield him from Harry. "You can't possibly know what it feels like. I'm a monster, Harry," he sobs. "I was so selfish. I could've let it live and it would've been happy, and if it was happy, then maybe I could've been too." He wraps his arms around his middle, his head hanging shamefully. "Why can't I be a good omega and obey my alpha?" he whispers.

"Louis," Harry coos, rubbing his back, "you are a good omega. It’s your alpha that’s the problem.”

Louis sniffles, looking up at him. "I killed a pup, though, Harry," he whispers. "The most important aspect of my life and I couldn't even handle it. What am I gonna do?"

"I think you just need some time away from things," Harry says softly.

Louis sniffles a little bit. "Could you take me to my mum's please?" he mumbles.

"'Course I can," Harry promises, giving Louis' shoulder a squeeze. "When do you want to go?"

"Later tonight, if that's all right with you," Louis mumbles, sinking back down into the mattress.

"That's fine," Harry tells him. "Whenever you're ready, let me know and we'll go, all right?"

"All right," Louis murmurs.

Harry slips out of the room to phone Louis’ mum to prepare her for what’s going to end up on her doorstep. He feels bad for his best friend, but the whole thing is rather exhausting. Harry will never stop trying to make Louis feel better, but he’s tired of Louis pushing him away when he only wants to help. Louis claims that Harry won’t know how to help him, but Harry knows he’d learn if only Louis would let him in for once.

Jay says she understands when he explains what’s happened and that some time away will do Louis some good. She says Louis can stay for as long as he needs to.

***

Jay envelopes Louis in a tight hug as soon as she opens the door, pressing kisses to the side of his head. "Louis, darling, I'm so sorry," she whispers into his hair.

"It's all my fault, mum," he cries softly.

"No, shhh, it's not your fault, darling," she murmurs, rocking him slightly. "Let's get you inside from the cold." She ushers him inside, throwing and grateful smile over her shoulder to Harry as he brings his and Louis' bags in. Jay gets Louis sat on the sofa and wraps him in the fluffiest blanket in the house. She then hurries to the kitchen, leaving Harry and Louis to themselves. Louis just stares at the wall, and Harry bounces his leg. She returns with tea and biscuits, although Louis only has a few sips of tea.

"Louis, honey, I know it's difficult, but you need to eat something," Jay presses. "Your body needs to recover."

"I'm not hungry, Mum," Louis tells her weakly. "I haven't been since it happened."

"Louis," she lilts sadly, reaching out to squeeze his hand. To his surprise, Louis lets her touch him. He leans further into her, and she tucks his head right under her chin, dropping kisses to his scalp every so often. Harry feels like he's intruding, so he leaves the room to find Louis' younger siblings to see if he can entertain them for a while so they don't find Louis in a state like this. "You know, Louis," Jay murmurs, rocking him lightly, "I almost lost you, but you were a stubborn little fighter, and I know that you're strong enough to get through this."

Louis sniffles. "Really?" he asks flatly.

"Yes, darling," she says, placing a kiss to the crown of his head.

Louis sighs and pushes away from her, getting to his feet. "I think I'm just gonna go lie down," he mumbles brokenly and she nods, lacing her fingers in her lap.

"Take it easy, love," she tells him and Louis departs from the den and thumps up the stairs with the blanket still wrapped around his shoulders. He can hear a ruckus coming from Doris' room, so he takes a quick peek and immediately regrets it. Harry, in all his lankiness, is sat folded in a tiny chair and table complete with a tiny tea set, sipping imaginary tea with Louis' youngest sister. Doris has even donned him with a sparkly tiara and messily applied lipstick. Harry catches his eye for a fraction of a second before Louis scurries down the hall into his old room, where he dives into the sheets and curls up there. Seeing Harry interact with small children just makes him sadder. Even though Harry will never be the father to any of his future children, the way he treats kids in general is so heartwarming to see.

It's a shame Harry hasn't been matched yet; his mate and pups would be so spoiled and well-taken care of and thinking of this just makes Louis sob harder because he's condemned to waste away his time with Nick.

He's trying to take deep, calming breaths when Harry raps on the door, poking his head in. "Louis?" he asks.

"Lou?" comes a smaller voice and Louis' heart twists in pain.

He hears Harry crouch down to Doris' level. "Louis doesn't feel well right now, Dori," he says. "Can you give us a minute, please?"

"Okay," Doris says, but Louis can hear the frown in her voice.

The door closes and Harry makes his way over, rubbing off the color on his lips. "Louis," he pleads. "Talk to me."

"What's there to say, Harry?" Louis asks bitterly.

Harry sighs and sits on the mattress. "You have to talk about it at some point," he says softly.

"There's nothing to talk about," Louis says. "I was selfish and I'm even more selfish for being sad about it."

"Louis, you are not selfish," Harry sighs. "Did Nick give you any say in whether or not you were ready for a pup?"

"No," Louis mutters, more tears spilling over. "I wasn't even awake when he—when he—"

"Shhh," Harry soothes as Louis is reduced to sobs. "Let it all out, Lou."

"I—just—I hate him so—much," Louis hiccups between sobs. "He's going to b-blame me for losing it when he gets h-home."

Harry pulls him into his chest, Louis clutching the fabric of his shirt in his fists as he sobs. "I won't let him hurt you, Louis," Harry promises softly. Louis snuffles against him, seeming to have calmed down significantly.

"You're going to be such a good dad someday," Louis mumbles after a while and Harry chuckles softly, pressing a kiss to the top of Louis' head

"Mhm," he hums. "So will you." Louis just sighs at this, burying his face in Harry's chest as Harry rubs his back, rocking him back and forth on the bed, humming softly into his hair.

**  
**

Louis wakes up with his face pressed into Harry’s chest.  He panics slightly because the bed seems too small and then he remembers that they're in his childhood bedroom. Carefully, he slides from Harry's embrace, hoping not to wake him, and slips into the bathroom. The florescent lighting is harsh, making him squint, but he can still see his reflection in the mirror and immediately wishes he couldn't.

There are dark circles under his eyes and his face is pale, his hair greasy and unkempt. He looks like death and rather feels it, too. He glowers at his reflection for a moment, it glowering right back, before he strips and turns the hot water all the way up. He lets the water turn his skin pink and scrubs himself furiously to get the grime of the hospital off, imagining that he's scrubbing off an entire layer of skin to reveal a newer, better version of himself. Imagining it doesn't make it any more real.

He's created quite the cloud of hot steam when he steps out of the shower. He guiltily hopes his mother still has hot water as he tugs on a plain tee shirt. His fingers brush his incision and he feels an overwhelming sense of want to just burrow under the sheets again. But he owes it to his mother and siblings to show his face. He fights back hot tears as he tugs on a pair of sweatpants, pinching his cheeks to give them a flush of color. He can't do anything for the dullness of his eyes.

When he pads into the kitchen, Jay is scrambling eggs and Harry is flipping pancakes onto the younger twins' plates. Everything stills for a moment when Louis is noticed in the doorway, several pairs of eyes on him. It takes every ounce of his willpower to stay rooted to his place. Then the fire alarm goes off and Jay mutters a curse under her breath as the eggs burn. Harry takes over, ushering her over to Louis.

Jay offers him a small smile. "Good morning, sunshine," she greets and it's almost enough to make him smile. "Are you hungry? Harry here and I've whipped up quite a big breakfast."

"I'll just have water, please," Louis murmurs, keeping his eyes low.

She presses a kiss to his forehead. "Coming right up, love," she says and bustles off, leaving Louis to reluctantly take a seat at the table next to Daisy, who eyes him warily. "Harry made pancakes, Louis," she tells him softly.

"I see," he says bluntly, not intending it that way. Daisy places one of her hands on top of his, opening her mouth to say something when Jay sets a glass of water in front of him and Louis moves his hand from hers to reach for it. Louis drinks, not looking at her, and wonders how much his mother told them. Obviously, Doris and Ernest can't comprehend what's happened, but the older twins are mature for their age. His heart sinks as he realizes just how grown up they're getting; in a few years' time they'll be leaving the house just like he did. He hopes fate will play Into their hands a lot more fairly than it did for him.

Daisy gives him one last look before slipping from her seat to finish getting ready for school. The other children soon follow her, leaving Louis to sit alone at the table. He watches Daisy and Phoebe through the archway as they herd Doris and Ernest to the door to get their coats on,  making note of their domesticity. They both presented as omegas a few years back and Louis just hopes they'll have respectful and tolerant alphas.

Harry sets a plate of pancakes and fruit in front of him, a weary look on his face. "I made these special for you, Lou," he tempts. "You should at least try to eat something. It's been a week since you've had anything of substance."

Louis pushes away the plate,  shaking his head. "I can't," he whispers.

"Louis, you know I hate doing this, but you leave me no choice."

Louis looks up at him, his jaw hanging open. "Are you serious?" he asks incredulously.

"I am," Harry says and clears his throat, speaking next in a deeper, gruffer voice, "Louis, eat your breakfast."

Louis glares at him as his hands grip the silverware and pull the plate closer against his will. He mouths 'I hate you' between forced bites, and Harry grimaces as he watches Louis slowly eat. "I can't believe you, " Louis mutters as he takes his last bite.

"I'm sorry, Lou," Harry pleads. "I know I said I'd never use my alpha voice on you, but this was for your own good. I'm just trying to help."

"Stop then," Louis growls. "I don't need your help. "

Harry shrinks back a bit. "I'm sorry, " he murmurs.

"There's no way you can even know how it feels,  so please,  just let me be."

"I can't do that," Harry says, shaking his head.  "Your doctor said that you'll need support and I'm doing my best to do that, but if you keep pushing me away, I can't help you.  And I can’t just sit back and watch you do this to yourself. "

Louis shrinks in on himself,  feeling selfish and childish for the way he's been treating Harry. "I'm sorry," he whispers. "Everything hurts."

Harry places a hand on his thigh, giving his knee a gentle squeeze. "I know it does, Lou," he murmurs. He opens his mouth to say something else when Louis' phone goes off and he fumbles to answer it, his hands shaking. "Hello?" he asks just as shakily.

" _Where the_ hell _are you?_ " Nick's angry voice demands.

Louis shifts in the chair,  letting Harry's hand slip from his leg. "'M at my mum's," he mumbles. He shifts his gaze from Harry's, feeling his cheeks redden. "Is there something wrong?"

" _You know damn well there is,_ " Nick growls. " _I come home expecting my omega to be waiting patiently for me only he's nowhere to be found._ "

"I'm sorry," Louis mutters. "I needed my mum."

" _Why, because you couldn't handle the only thing you were made to do?_ " Nick asks icily and Louis' breath hitches. " _I got a notice from the hospital that some paperwork needed to be approved and here I was thinking some permits needed renewal, but no,_  you  _were admitted due to a miscarriage._ _You_ _had one job, Louis. I specifically told you to take that medication and you disobeyed me. What a fucking waste of an omega_." Louis feels like he's choking on his own breath. He turns his back on Harry and slips into his old room as the fat tears roll down his cheeks. He has no words for Nick, who huffs impatiently and continues. “ _Get back to the complex immediately._ ”

“No,” Louis defies bravely, finally finding his voice. He can hear the anger in Nick’s breathing.

“ _Louis, if you don’t get back here I swear on your life you’ll regret it_ ,” Nick’s voice growls in his ear.

Louis tries his hardest to keep his hands and voice from trembling. “Fuck you!” he courageously spits into the phone and hurls it at the wall, smashing it to pieces.

Harry comes skittering into the room, his breathing heavy. “Louis,” he pants. “What–?” He looks from the shattered remains of Louis’ phone to his terror-stricken friend. “Who–?”

Louis doesn’t even have to say who was on the other end of the line and Harry’s striding across the room and sweeping him up in his arms and holding him tight before he can fall apart. “He’s so mad,” Louis whispers into Harry’s chest. “I’m really scared. What if he–?”

“I’m not going to let that happen to you, Lou,” Harry promises him, not even wanting Louis to finish that thought. Louis shudders against him and Harry tightens his hold on him. “‘M not gonna let that happen to you,” he repeats softly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading and putting up with me!!!!!!
> 
>  
> 
> [tumblr](http://dirtshag.tumblr.com/)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is long overdue, short, and unbeta'd soz :/

Harry and Louis stay at his mum's house for three days after Louis' phone call from Nick. Harry receives continuous texts from Zayn and Niall asking if they're all right and updates on Nick's reactions. At one point, Harry got a text from Zayn informing him that Nick threw a plant that broke the kitchen window. Another from Niall told them that Nick tried to set fire to Harry's bed, but Liam had intervened, tittering on about how the fumes would be dangerous to inhale.

Louis' jaw had dropped when Harry had him read it. "Oh, my God," he whispers, looking up at Harry with wide eyes. "I'm so sorry, Harry. He's fucking insane."

Harry nods compliantly. "I don't even want to imagine what he'd do to you. It's probably best if we let him calm down. I got got a text from Zayn today saying that Nick's been moping around for the most part."

Louis shudders. "I just hope he'll be calm when we get back," he says.

"Me too," Harry says, "but even if he's not, you'll have me, Zayn, and Niall to defend you."

"What about Liam?" Louis asks quietly.

Harry schools his features, his eyes dark. "I wouldn't bet on it," he mutters. "Liam will most likely get on my case how 'this is between you and Nick' and 'it's none of my business'."

Louis furrows his brow. "Why?" he asks. "I'm sure sure I would've been dead a while ago if it weren't for you."

"Liam's convinced that I have a _fucking crush_ on you and that I'm a 'threat to the system' because he thinks I want to mate with you," Harry mutters in a mocking tone, his cheeks rosy and eyes bright.

Louis takes a moment before he responds. "He thinks you have a crush on me?" he asks quietly, trying to keep himself from laughing; Harry's an alpha, dubbed 'impervious to emotion' by society’s gender roles, and here he is getting flustered like a primary school kid whose friends know who he likes. Harry nods solemnly, his ears turning red as well. Louis knows that Liam and Harry haven’t been on the best speaking terms as of late, and he wonders if this is the reason why. Then, he wonders if Harry’s really blushing or if his cheeks are red from anger. "Do you?" Louis asks softly.

Harry smiles easily, ruffling Louis' hair playfully. "'Course not," he assures, the color fading from his cheeks, but his eyes are still bright. "I'm not some pining teenager." Louis smiles back, but feels his stomach drop to his toes.

 

After a tearful goodbye and promises of coming back soon, Louis sits quietly on the ride home, unlacing and lacing his fingers together anxiously. He doesn’t want to go back to the complex and face Nick, even if Harry is willing to lay down his life for him, but by law, he has to. He sighs and sinks further down in the seat, watching the rubble dotted plains crawl past as they make their way back.

There used to be rolling hills and tiny villages spread out through most of the UK before the war, but after it was all bombed and only the old London remained valiantly standing against all odds, the land was flattened, leaving masses of rubble around its limits. Most of the city has been rebuilt since then, making it almost entirely new (hence the name New London), but the rubble on its outskirts was never fully cleared from view. The city officials have claimed many times that they would remove them, but it’s been sixty years since the last time they had promised.

He sighs, closing his eyes; it’s not the first time their government has promised something and then never acted upon it. The matching program was only intended to help get people back on their feet after the mutations took place, and it's been decades and nothing has been done for change. He throws his head back against the seat pitifully; if it weren’t for the government’s tendency to ignore the issues facing its people, he wouldn’t even be in this mess in the first place. He's tired of everything.

“Hey,” Harry says from the driver’s seat. “It’s gonna be okay.”

Louis looks at him tiredly. “Whatever you say, Harry,” he mutters.

"It will be," Harry promises. "'M not gonna let him hurt you."

"I know that," Louis mutters.

Nick is pacing the entryway when Harry pushes open the door for Louis. He looks up when Louis shuffles in, not meeting his eye.  "Why the _fuck_ weren't you answering your phone?" Nick spits. "I was worried sick."

Louis stands before him and feels a sudden surge of confidence, crossing his arms over his chest defensively as Harry scurries in behind him with their bags. Everyone else is sitting on the sofa in the den, their eyes cast downward, dreading the exchange that’s about to happen between Louis and Nick. It’s not that they don’t care, it’s just that they don’t want to see Louis lose the argument, or more. "The fuck you were," he spits, and Nick narrows his eyes. "You don't give a rat's ass about me. All you fucking care about is my asshole."

Nick stalks closer to him, towering over him menacingly. "How dare you speak to me like this," he breathes, puffing foul coffee breath into Louis' face.

Louis shoves him away with all his might, but Nick only sways slightly. "How dare you force me to take those drugs," Louis counters with, glaring daggers up at him. "Did you know what would happen? Is this some kind of sick game to you? Because if it is, I'm not fucking playing it with you."

Nick’s brows draw together for a moment. “What the fuck are you on about?” he asks.

Louis balls up his fists, fighting the tears that are threatening to spill over. “I lost the pup because of those drugs–”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Nick stares at him in disbelief.

“Why the hell would I kid about something like that?” Louis demands, wiping away his involuntary tears with his sleeve. “It’s those damn injections that _you_ told me to take that killed it. I took the first two, but I just got worse after that. Your kid’s dead and it’s all your fault.”

"Shut the fuck up, you whiny brat," Nick growls, wrestling Louis' wrists into his iron-like grasp, leaving Louis whimpering and trying to wrest himself free. "How dare you accuse me of such a thing?” he whispers harshly in Louis’ ear, making him squirm. “Do you honestly think I’d give you bad drugs, huh?” He jostles Louis roughly. “Do you think I _wanted_ my kid dead? It’s your fault, Louis. You weren’t enough, have you got that? You weren’t enough.” Louis whimpers as Nick manhandles him. “I knew that having a fucking omega was overrated."

"Let go of him," Harry growls from behind Nick. Louis had wondered where he'd been, praying that he'd show up soon.

Nick turns his head to face him agonizingly slowly. "What are you going to do about it?" he snarls as Louis struggles to free himself.

“Let him go,” Harry presses, his voice dangerously quiet.

Nick just rolls his eyes, his fingers digging painfully into Louis’ wrists. “I don’t have to listen to you, _Harold_ ,” he drawls, making Harry’s full name drip with disgust. As Harry narrows his eyes at him, Louis ignore his primal instinct to obey his alpha and bites down on Nick’s arm, causing the alpha to hiss and curse, jumping back and yanking his hand from its grasp on Louis’ wrist. Louis scurries away from him, taking up refuge next to Harry as he nurses his wrist; it’s definitely going to bruise.

“It’s your fucking fault,” Louis grits out.

Nick glares at him, pressing his thumb to the place Louis bit him to stop the bleeding. “Shut the fuck up,” he hisses back. “It’s your own damn fault. If you’d just listened to me and taken those injections like a _good_ omega–”

“Louis _is_ a good omega,” Harry butts in, ushering Louis behind him in case Nick decides to lunge for him. “What you asked him to do was dangerous and ridiculous.”

“No, it wasn’t.” Nick shakes his head as if he’s scolding a six-year-old. “He’s too damn independent,” he growls, rolling his shoulders arrogantly. “He thinks for himself too much.”

Louis peeks out from behind Harry to glare at Nick. “You never gave me a choice,” he says.

Nick scoffs. “It was never your choice,” he says, throwing his hands out in exasperation. “Everything in this mateship is _my_ decision, don’t you understand that? I have the final say on everything. If you’ve got an issue with that, you can consider yourself mateless, because I’m not going to put up with your whining.”

Louis’ jaw drops. “You’d break our bond?” he asks, fear and hope bubbling in his chest. If Nick broke their bond, Louis would be free from Nick’s tyranny and abuse, but he’d also be instantly vulnerable to other unmated alphas. The stink of Nick’s bond with him has kept him safe from other predators for the most part, but at the cost of nearly everything he holds dear in his life. Louis isn’t sure which undesirable fate he would prefer more.

Nick sighs. “Of course not,” he mutters, raking a hand through his hair. “I’d never be lucky enough to be matched with a male omega _twice_ in my life.”

Louis’ heart sinks to his toes; Nick wouldn’t risk breaking their bond simply because of Louis’ rarity in the world. He feels downright worthless right now, though.

“You’re disgusting,” Harry spits. “You’d rather let Louis suffer at your hand than risk not getting the match you want?”

“You don’t have a say in this, you filthy sympathizer,” Nick growls. “Everything in this world comes down to rank in society, which is based on sex. Louis here is at the bottom of the totem pole and he and all others like him will _always_ stay there.” Louis hears his blood rushing through his ears, all of it boiling throughout his body. It’s ridiculous that male omegas, the rarest out of all of the sexes, are put on sexual pedestals, yet receive the least amount of respect and protection. It makes him want to scream most of the time.

Harry stiffens, snarling back, “I’m not a ‘sympathizer’. It’s called being a decent human being.”

“Whatever,” Nick says with a roll of his eyes. “Louis, come with me.”

“No,” Louis resists, burrowing further into Harry’s back to shield himself away from Nick. Harry brackets him closer to his body to keep him further out of Nick’s reach.

“Leave him alone,” Harry growls. “He doesn’t want to go with you.”

Nick grabs Louis by the back of his shirt and drags him away from Harry, Louis struggling against him and screeching protests, when Niall lunges off the sofa and tackles Nick to get him to let go of Louis. “Louis is your omega,” he says softly as Nick shrugs him off, “but that doesn’t give you the right to control him like this. The law says nothing about punishing omegas for disobeying an alpha's orders.”

Nick glowers at him. “I _make_ the law,” he growls out.

“Yeah? Well, _I_ make the matches, so fuck off before I report your ass,” Niall barks. “I have more authority than you think you have.” Nick rolls his eyes and storms down the hallway, grumbling about useless matchmakers and insubordination. Niall reaches down and helps Louis to his feet. “You okay, buddy?” he asks.

Louis nods shakily. “‘M fine,” he breathes. "Are you really going to report him?"

Niall huffs. "No," he says. "I only said that to keep him on his toes. I can't really report him for harassing you like that. You're his omega, so by law, he gets to do with you as he pleases."

Louis' jaw drops. “That’s not fair!" he exclaims. "I'm not even protected by the law? If he happens to kill me, it'd be _my_ fault?"

"’Fraid so," Niall affirms gravely.

“But they’re talking about changing it,” Harry interjects, his eyes wide. Then, sounding desperate, he adds, “Right?”

Niall shakes his head. "There's been no change in legislation despite what they’ve been saying to the media the past fifteen years,” he mutters bitterly. "They're all useless, selfish pricks."

“Niall, be careful of the cameras,” Amy chides softly.

“There are no cameras in our complex,” Niall tells her. Thanks to his position at the genetics facility, he and his flatmates have been granted an enviable level of privacy. “There are outside, but there aren’t any inside.”

“Why?” asks Liam, looking at Harry, a hard look in his eyes. Harry glares at him, and Louis can feel the hostility radiating off both alphas.

Niall stiffens. “I’ve been able to pull some strings,” he explains, “but only if we’re all on our best behavior.” Again, Liam looks at Harry.

“ _What_ , Liam?” Harry demands a little harshly. Louis can tell that Liam is getting on Harry’s nerves. He’s never been the target of Harry’s anger, but the thought of seeing him this agitated makes him shuffle behind Niall.

Liam offers a noncommittal shrug. “Dunno,” he mutters.

“Do you think I’m going to fuck this up for us because I want what’s best for Louis?” Harry seethes.

“I don’t think that,” Liam says, shaking his head. “I just want you to keep that in mind.”

Harry grits his teeth, obviously furious that Liam doesn't think Louis' well-being is a priority. He must not have the patience to fight him on it now, so he just grits out a 'whatever, I'm going to bed' and skulks down the hall to his room.

Louis watches him until he's no longer in sight, his heart tugging with some emotion he can't determine. He sinks down onto the sofa cushion next to Zayn, letting out a long sigh.  "This place is so full of drama," he mutters bitterly.

“Mate, you're the root of a lot of it," Zayn tells him and Louis just sinks further back into the sofa.

"I _hate_ being an omega," he grumbles.

"Being a beta isn't fun either," Zayn murmurs, lacing his fingers in his lap.

"Yeah, well _you've_ only just found out that you're a beta," Louis mutters. "I've been treated like an omega my whole life."

Zayn winces. "Right,  'm sorry," he mumbles. "That was really insensitive of me."

Louis waves it off. "It's fine," he mumbles. "I can't imagine what it's like to wake up one day to find out you're not who you thought you were. How'd you not know? If you don’t mind my asking."

Zayn sighs, rubbing his face. "My letter explained that there's still some mutation going on that can inhibit some people’s ability to identify their sex. I’m one of those people. My letter also mentioned that there’s a 50% chance that I’m a carrier, unlike many other male betas.” He sighs, throwing his head back against the sofa.

“Is there something wrong with that?” Louis asks lightly, suddenly embarrassed and slightly offended; Zayn, one of his very best friends,  seems to think that being a carrier is degrading.

“No,” Zayn mumbles. “There’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. I’m just–I'm nervous," he admits, biting his lip.

Louis furrows his brow. "What about?" he asks.

"Everything," Zayn says softly. "Like, what if I–?" He cuts himself off, glancing away from Louis and–oh. Zayn is nervous about the possibility of becoming pregnant. He's lived his life worry free of that since he presented, and now his world has been turned upside down because of a stupid letter… much like Louis’ own.

"You'll be fine," Louis assures him. "Betas are stronger than omegas."

"Yeah, but omegas are made to be carriers," Zayn counters weakly. "Only female betas are carriers. What If I'm not enough?"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, slow down," Louis soothes. "Why are you so worried about this now? I mean, there's still a chance that you're not a carrier."

Zayn sighs, raking a hand through his hair. "I'm not in that half, Lou," he mutters, ducking his head. "'M seven weeks."

Louis feels like he's swallowed cotton. He can feel the tears stinging the backs of his eyes as he chokes out a 'congratulations' and scrambles off of the sofa, scurrying down the hall as Zayn calls his name.

He locks himself in the bathroom, his chest heaving violently. Why do Zayn and Liam get to be happy? First they were miraculously matched, and Zayn is definitely going to be able to give his mate the family he’s wanted without fucking it up. And their bond was forged out of love, not the fucking law. He braces against the sink, his arms shaking, and raises his eyes to find his ragged reflection in the mirror. His eyes are red and the bags beneath them are puffy and dark. His cheeks are flushed with color, and there's a slight sheen of sweat on his skin. He's quite tired of looking in mirrors to find his appearance so raw and ragged as he has been lately.

He scowls at his reflection, willing himself to pull together, but a forceful sob wracks his body, and he crumples to the floor, sobbing like a pathetic mess of a person. He curls in on himself,  his body heavy against the cold, solid tile of the bathroom floor, and suddenly he's reminded of when he found out that he was pregnant.

_He wouldn’t be able to explain if asked, but he felt it before he really even knew. He supposes that it’s just an ingrained instinct that all omegas are born with, but he doubted it, so he bought a test, paying with shaking hands as pitying eyes fell on him, and hurried back home to take it. As his doubt fades through the wait, his fear grows exponentially. When the timer on his phone goes off, the tears are already prickling at the backs of his eyes. He looks down at the little white stick, the two lines glaring back up at him mockingly._

_Louis wants to cry and kick and scream but he can't bring himself to do so; all he feels is an overpowering numbness unfolding down throughout his limbs. He’s pregnant and hates the father with a burning type of passion that he's felt only once before, and it's painful, but even that's not enough to expel the numbness taking over him. His life is over, and he knows it. This baby is going to be the end of what little freedom his has left. From now on, his life will be devoted to raising this pup and many more to come. He doesn’t want to think about it._

_He sinks to the floor, wrapping his arms around himself and not at all wishing someone else was holding him. He can't do this. He can't bring a pup into the world this way. He had always wanted pups, it was everything his body was made to do, but he never wanted it this way. He was supposed to bond with an alpha he loved, but he's curled on the floor carrying the pup of a man that didn't even bother to wake him before slapping himself in while he slept._

_He hates that he's feeling this way; it goes against everything his body was made to do, and it hurts like nothing he's ever felt before. He lies on the cold tile for a good fifteen minutes before he works up the courage to even sit up. Louis then collects himself as best he can, tossing the stick in the trash before stepping out of the bathroom, and scurries down the hall to his room. Nick's sitting on the bed, watching him closely and looking smug as Louis walks over._

_"You're a fucking prick, you know that?" he hisses and Nick just laughs._

_"Oh, shut up," he says, an evilly joyful light flickering in his eyes. "This is all you were ever meant to do."_

_"Fuck you," Louis spits before walking stiffly out the door, bursting into fresh tears once he's in the hallway and no one is around to comfort him. Only the walls watch, keeping their everlasting silence. Louis has never felt more alone in his life._

"Lou," Zayn calls softly from the other side of the door. "'M sorry. I didn't mean to upset you."

Louis sniffles,  leaning back against the door. "I'm okay," he whispers.  He's not. "I swear."

"Please. Open the door," Zayn implores. "I just want to help."

"I don't _want_ to be helped," Louis mumbles. "I just want to be left alone."

He can hear Zayn sigh through the door. "Louis, please...." Another sigh. "Fine, but you can't stay in the loo all night."

"I won't," Louis whines, feeling like the child he's sure he resembles.

There's a moment of silence before Zayn speaks softly. "We love you, Louis," he murmurs.

Louis sighs, letting his head fall back against the door. “I love you guys, too,” he replies monotonously. There’s a moment of silence and then there’s the sound of Zayn’s footsteps, carrying him away from Louis and his misery. Hours later, after there are no sounds coming from the rest of the flat, Louis slips out of the bathroom, intent on just camping out on the sofa for the night, but he freezes when he sees light in the kitchen.

Quietly, he makes his way down the hall and peers into the kitchen. Harry is leaned against the counter, his head in his hands and a mug of tea to the side. He doesn’t look up when Louis enters the kitchen, but he mumbles, “I’m not in the mood to talk.”

“‘M not really either,” Louis says and Harry looks up.

“Sorry,” he mutters. “I thought you were Liam.”

“‘S okay,” Louis mumbles with a small shrug.

Harry sighs, rubbing a hand over his face. “I’m sick of all this,” he grumbles.

Louis would like to provide some choice commentary, but he decides to keep his mouth shut; Harry doesn’t look too well off, but he pours Louis his own mug of tea, pushing it toward him. "Nick doesn't deserve you," he murmurs. "And you definitely don't deserve all the shit he puts you through."

Louis takes a slow sip of the tea Harry poured him, letting the heat of it warm his hands. Harry sighs, raking a hand through his hair. "I just feel so useless, Lou," he mumbles.

"Harry, you're not useless," Louis tells him. "Why would you think that?"

"Because I can protect you, but I can't keep you safe," Harry says huffily. "And I don't think that that's enough."

"I could've been killed many times, Harry, and you prevented that from happening," Louis says. "You're doing fine keeping me safe."

Harry looks down into his tea. "You'd be safer if he were gone."

Louis sighs, but decides not to fight Harry on this one; he's explained to him so many times why he can't get out, but Harry seems adamant that he will, someday. "I know," is all he whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!! i'm sorry that this is so short and that it's not very exciting :c it has been a long and draining holiday season for me. hope yours was better!!!! <3


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so there's not a whole lot of rewriting here and i'm not entirely happy with this chapter but i feel the need to update because i've been neglecting this fic for over a month and i'm sorry for making you guys wait so long. there's more stuff at the beginning and then after that it's basically the smut from the original so yeah and this is only like half beta'd so
> 
> please be careful with this chapter, though, because there's a point where it gets into some things like past abuse and depression and louis gets over that pretty quickly, and it's not as easy as i wrote, so if you're feeling down, please feel free to talk to me on [tumblr](http://dirtshag.tumblr.com/faq) and i will do my best to help you :) love you~

Louis wakes up in his bed, not really certain of how he ended up in it. He had stayed up with Harry talking for quite some time. They'd discussed unimportant things to keep Louis' mind off the looming shadow of reality. At one point, though, Harry had briefly talked about getting Louis a therapist to help him, but Louis shut him down immediately. He barely knew what he was feeling, let alone be able to explain it to a complete stranger.

He assumes that he fell asleep at the kitchen counter and Harry had carried him to his bed, where he's now feeling the ill effects of a late night. Nick is nowhere to be found, his side of the bed long gone cold, which Louis is grateful for. He's going to spend all his time and energy avoiding his mate. His shirt has ridden up in his sleep, and as he goes to tug it back down, he catches sight of his incision, already a scar. It's ugly, he decides, grimacing at its jaggedness. It's slightly raised from the rest of his skin, slung between his hips like a red rope of regret and remorse. He blinks back tears and tugs his shirt down, wincing as his knuckles brush against it.

He sits up in the bed and suffers a bout of dizziness. Just the act of sitting up exhausts him, and Louis decides against doing anything today, hoping instead to just sleep for the next month. He's just about to conjure up the motivation to slip back into the sheets when Harry pokes his head in the doorway. "Oh, good, you're up," he says with a soft smile. He enters the room fully, carrying a tray laden with a variety of breakfast foods. "Thought you might like something to eat," he says softly. "Didn't know what you'd want, so I just made a bit of everything."

"I'm really sorry, Harry," Louis mumbles, unable to meet his gaze, "but I'm not hungry."

His face falters slightly. "Oh, okay," he mumbles to the tray. "If you change your mind, I'll leave it on the nightstand." Harry gingerly sets the tray on the bedside table next to Louis. "Let me know if you need anything," he says softly, wringing his hands and turning on his heel to scurry out of the room.

This is how his mornings go for weeks upon weeks. Louis has barely left his room the past month, and his friends are worried, especially Harry, who comes in one afternoon to rouse Louis from the sheets.

"Leave me be," Louis whines as Harry throws open the curtains to bathe the room in the light of day it hasn’t seen for weeks.

"We're going out for a bit, Lou," he says gently. "Please get dressed for me?"

"I don't want to go anywhere," Louis grumbles, burrowing further into the sheets.

"It'll be worth it, Louis," Harry coaxes.

"Where are we going?" Louis asks without revealing his face from beneath the sheets. He won't soon forget the last time he went out with Harry; they'd had such a good time, so he has no doubts about this outing, but he’s not certain of whether or not he’s emotionally ready to face the world. He’s felt safe in his own little bubble, in the warmth of his own sheets and the quiet of his room, though his thoughts are loud inside his head. He’s used his time to help sort out his thoughts, but he still hasn’t been able to form any coherent sentences.

"It's a surprise," Harry answers simply and Louis groans, but slips out of bed to dress himself.

***

Louis' jaw drops when he sees where Harry has driven him to. "I told you no, Harry," he fumes, tearing his eyes from the therapist's office outside to glare at Harry.

"Louis, please," Harry pleads, shutting off the engine. "I think this will be really good for you. I'm trying to help, I really am, but I just don't have the capacity to help you properly."

"I didn’t want this," Louis snaps. He feels betrayed by Harry, who went behind his back and tricked him into going to the therapist when he specifically told Harry he didn't want it. Maybe he could talk to the therapist about that instead.

"I know," Harry soothes. "Please, Lou, you've got to trust me on this."

Louis glares at the building for a moment before sighing. He can't get a handle on his emotions now, but maybe talking with a therapist will magically make him suddenly able to articulate his feelings. "Fine," he grumbles and shoves open his car door, Harry quickly slipping out his side to meet Louis to walk with him.

They shuffle through the door, Louis keeping his eyes down and settling immediately in an overly plush chair in the waiting room. Harry checks them in with the receptionist and hesitantly takes a seat next to Louis, who has suddenly become overly interested in his fingernails. Harry sighs loudly next to him, but Louis is still angry with him, so he continues to study his cuticles.

"Do you want me to come with you?" Harry asks softly and Louis scoffs, rolling his eyes as he looks up to glare at Harry.

"No," he grits out, and Harry grimaces, glancing down at the floor. They sit in uncomfortable silence until a door opens and a huge alpha steps out with silent tears streaming down his face. A sharply dressed woman follows and glances at her tablet. "Louis Tomlinson," she calls, sweeping her gaze around around the empty waiting room.

Louis gulps. If a therapy session can make an alpha cry, he has no idea how well he'll fare. He looks to Harry, suddenly feeling guilty for having been so sharp with him, but Harry is already on his feet and offering Louis a hand to pull him to his feet.

"I'll be with you the whole time," he promises, and Louis thanks him meekly as they walk over to the door the woman is stood in front of.

She greets them with a smile, shaking each of their hands. She then steps aside and lets Harry and Louis step into the room, the door closing almost immediately.

"So, to get started, I think we should all introduce ourselves," she says. "I'm Dr. Watson." She's a beta, the closest thing to an original human before the Last Great War, so she has the least effect on either of them, which Louis supposes is a good thing in her field.

"'M Harry," Harry introduces himself, offering a hand for Dr. Watson to shake again, which she does with a beaming smile.

Louis wrings his hands as he mutters his name.

Dr. Watson gives him the same beaming smile. "Shall we all take a seat?" she asks, sweeping across the room. She sits in a leather chair and nods for Harry and Louis to sit on the plush sofa across from her. "What brings you in today?" she asks.

"Harry thinks I need psychological help," Louis mutters bitterly.

"Why does he think that?" Dr. Watson prompts.

"He thinks that I'm depressed," Louis mumbles, not looking her in the eye.

"Why does Harry think you're depressed?" she asks, typing on her tablet.

Louis lets out a long sigh.

"He hasn't been eating, Doc," Harry supplies quickly. "He just stays in bed all day."

She doesn't acknowledge Harry's words, save for typing on her tablet. Then she looks at Louis. "Have you been sleeping a lot more, Louis?" she asks kindly.

"Yeah," Louis answers hesitantly, shifting nervously.

"Have you experienced unwavering negative emotions over the course of two or more weeks?" she asks.

"Yes," Louis whispers, his fingers digging into the armrest of the chair.

"How long has it endured for?"

"Almost three months," Louis whispers and Harry makes an affronted noise, obviously distressed by the fact Louis hadn't told him it had been going on for longer. "I mean, I've suffered before, but I thought it was over."

"You've suffered before?" Dr. Watson asks, typing away on her tablet.

"Yeah, during my teenage years," Louis explains. "I guess my dad wasn’t exactly ready to be a parent when my mum had me, so he didn’t spend a whole lot of time with me, but when he did, he said such awful things about me and my mother. He definitely didn't like that I turned out omega, and he slapped me around for a while before he became verbally abusive. Eventually he up and left us on our own." He shudders slightly and draws his knees to his chest. He hasn't talked about his dad in years. Harry is staring at him with his mouth slightly agape. Louis feels his cheeks burn; he hasn't told any of his friends of his difficult childhood. "My mum was eventually assigned a new mate, and he's a lot better than my pathetic excuse for a father. My dad's abuse kind of messed with my head, but I just joined the football team to distract myself from the sadness I felt. I'd been playing footie for years growing up, and after I presented, my teammates harassed me a lot. They didn't really know that I was an omega 'cause I used neutralizers, but they could tell I definitely wasn't alpha.

"I hadn't told my mum about the team or my dad or the depression until I was almost assaulted on the field in the middle of a game. After the refs pulled me out of the game and the nurse got a good look at me, she found all the scars from my dad's beatings and the bruises from the team and told my mum about them. Instantly, she burst into tears and I told her everything that had happened to me because I couldn't stand to see her cry again. After I had told her everything, she put me in therapy. That lasted until about two years before I moved out. I've had bad days once in a while, but this...." Louis trails off, his gaze fixed on some far off point of the room.

It's quiet for a moment, Dr. Watson's fingers absolutely still for once. "Do you have an Idea of what's triggered your depression again?" she asks, her voice thin.

"When I was matched with my alpha," Louis supplies softly. "His name's Nick Grimshaw—the lawmaker—and I think all the power's gone to his head. He impregnated me while I slept, and then left me on my own for a business trip, forcing me to take some illegal hormone supplements to make up for his absence.  I lost it a week later. I... I just wasn't enough to keep it on my own." Louis is crying now, feeling a weight lift from his shoulders, but still a heaviness in his heart.

Both Harry and Dr. Watson are silent for a moment, and Harry is rigid beside him. Dr. Watson clears her throat and sits up straighter in her seat. "As you've discovered before, what you are feeling will not be permanent. And I also want you to know that what was done to you is not because of you, Louis. All I want you to hold yourself responsible for is the beating of your heart and the words in your mouth."

***

Harry slams his door shut as he climbs into the SUV. He hasn't said a word to Louis since the appointment's beginning, and Louis is starting to feel anxious. "Harry," he murmurs.

"Why didn’t you say something earlier?" Harry demands, his eyes glassy.

"Because it _hurt_ , Harry, don't you understand that?" Louis says bitingly.

"Of course I know that it hurt you, Louis," Harry seethes, gripping the steering wheel tighter. "Why'd you have to keep it a big fucking secret? You were sad and didn't even tell me."

"What, I have to tell you everything?" Louis demands.

"Isn't that what friends do, or are we not even that anymore?" Harry growls.

“What is with you lately?” Louis asks. “All you seem to do anymore is, like, micromanage my life.”

Harry lets out a long huff of air. “I’m not micromanaging,” he says. “Besides, you act like you’re helpless all the damn time.”

"Stop the car," Louis mutters. Harry rolls his shoulders and ignores Louis. "Stop the fucking car, Harry!" Louis shouts.

"Why?" Harry asks defiantly.

"Because I want to get out," Louis snaps. "You're being an insensitive _dick_ and I don't want to fucking put up with you."

"Fine," Harry says and pulls the car over to the side of the road. Just as Louis goes to open his door, the child safety locks _click_ into action.

"Let me out," Louis mutters, tightly gripping the door handle, ready to bolt out of the car.

"Louis, I'm sorry, okay? I didn’t mean any of that. I’m just upset that you didn’t feel comfortable enough to tell me those things." Harry sighs, slumping back in his seat. "I'm such a shit friend."

Louis says nothing, but nods agreeably. His grip on the door handle loosens.

Harry sighs again. "I couldn't even tell you were sad. I should’ve paid closer attention to you. I’m sorry."

"I think you and I both know you keep a pretty close watch over me," Louis replies sardonically.

"Because I care about you, Louis," Harry says. "Can't you see that?"

Louis keeps his gaze fixed on the land outside. Harry sighs and pulls back onto the road. "You know we all care about you, right? Me, Niall, Zayn, and Liam—even Amy. We all care about you. We all want you better."

"There's nothing wrong with me," Louis mutters. "I'm just a shit omega."

"You're not, Louis," Harry says with a heavy sigh. "Look, what your dad said about you doesn't matter—"

"Easy for you to say!" Louis explodes. "You have no idea what it was like to come home every day only to be belittled for your biology. What he did still affects my daily life."

Harry looks at him with sad eyes. “I didn’t know,” he murmurs. “I’m sorry I don’t understand, Louis, I’m trying to, but you’re not giving me any chances.”

“It’s something you can’t understand,” Louis replies sullenly.

“You’ve got to stop pushing me away, Louis,” Harry says. “I want to help you because I lo—because you’re my friend. And, yeah, I know I’m a shitty one sometimes, but I’m doing my best here. All of us are, even if we don’t all show it all the time.”

Louis lets out a long sigh, blinking back hot tears. “I… I just _hurt_ all the time, and sometimes I don’t even know _why_. It really fucking sucks.”

Harry reaches over and squeezes his knee. “You don’t have to go through it alone anymore, Louis,” he says. “I’ll be there for you. We all will, but you have to let us know when you’re hurting.”

Louis gives him a small smile. “I hope you know the trouble you’re going to put yourself through.”

“If it’s to make you better, then I don’t care what it takes,” Harry says simply, and the rest of the ride is silent.

***

Louis continues his visits with Dr. Watson, with Harry’s support and encouragement. He thinks that Nick’s frequent disappearances help with recovery. Dr. Watson tells him that he’s making incredible progress, even when he has days when the only productive thing he does is breathe.

Talking with Dr. Watson has helped him articulate his feelings and realize that he’s going to have bad days every now and then. They’ve started to be more infrequent, he’s noticed, but even when he’s feeling happy, a bout of sadness will hit him out of nowhere and last for a couple of days. Usually, talking with one of his friends helps, especially if it’s Harry or Zayn, but sometimes it’s just easier to bury it deep inside his mind to do something with later on.

He’s having one of those days where he’s feeling sad but isn’t exactly sure what the reason is. It’s not the deep sadness he feels most often; it’s more of an empty feeling, like ‘I don’t know how to feel or what to do to occupy my thoughts and body’. It takes him a few hours to formulate his plans for the night, and muster up the courage to ask Harry to come with him. He doesn’t think that Harry would disapprove of his idea for tonight, but he can’t exactly ask Niall, whom he knows would take up his offer in a heartbeat if he weren’t going out with Amy tonight.

He also knows that Liam will be too busy looking after Zayn to scold Louis for his plans. The alpha has been so preoccupied with his mate that Louis has barely even seen him around the complex, but that’s okay because Louis likes having time to himself, and everyone seems to be giving him the space he needs. But tonight, he doesn’t want to be all on his own.

Harry is fiddling around with his laptop, most likely writing for his online column, when Louis pushes open his door. “H?” he asks and Harry looks up, giving him a warm smile.

“What’s up, Lou?” Harry asks.

“I wanna go and get fucking wasted.”

Harry blinks at him for a heart wrenching moment, and Louis almost turns on his heel and scurries out of the room when Harry finally says, “Okay. Why?”

“Too many thoughts,” Louis mumbles, tapping his temple.

Harry nods knowingly and grabs his phone from the nightstand by his bed. “Did you want to go now?”

“Yeah,” Louis says. “That would be great.”

***

"And—hic—according to legend, we all have a soul mate," Harry says, sounding as sticky as the bar they're sat at. There's the normal hum of incoherent murmuring from other patrons, but Louis is fixated solely on Harry, no matter how increasingly ridiculous he sounds. The smoky haze of the bar clouds at the edges of his mind, but Harry is in clear focus.

"Really?" Louis asks. He hasn't had nearly as much to drink as Harry, but it doesn't take much to get him drunk. Harry could drink half a barrel and not feel the slightest bit intoxicated. Louis is lucky if he can down the equivalent of  five shots of 20 proof alcohol and remain sober.

Harry nods earnestly. "Apparently people used to read the lines on their palms to see their futures. Legend has it that if your heart line matches up with someone else's, you're soul mates."

"Really?" Louis asks again, fully unamused with Harry’s drunken blathering.

"Wanna try?" Harry asks, wiggling his brows at him and Louis snorts. "You and me?" he asks. "Potential soul mates. I don't think so. Soul mates aren't even a thing. They're just an urban legend, Harry. They're something people have made up so they're not so sore about their matches."

"C'mon, Lou, just give it a try," Harry pushes. "It's all in good fun, yeah?"

The alcohol is definitely clouding his judgment. "Yeah, okay," he says just to humor Harry, sticking out his hand. "Put 'er there." Harry's hand is enormous compared to his, but then again, Harry is larger than him in every aspect.

"Um, Lou?" Harry says uncertainly, his brows knitting. "Do you feel stinging?"

"Yeah," Louis breathes. He tries to pull his hand away, but it's almost as if they're fused together. "Harry, what's happening?" he panics.

"Don't know," Harry grunts as he tries to pry them apart. The stinging intensifies, both of them grimacing until suddenly, it stops and their hands fall apart from each other. "The hell?" Harry asks, squinting at his hand. "Louis, look at your hand."

The most prominent line across his palm looks like it's been burned an angry red. He glances at Harry's, which looks the same. When he looks back at his, it's already fading back to normal. "What does it mean?" he whispers, watching until it disappears.

"I think it means we're soul mates," Harry murmurs. "Look, they're the same."

"No," Louis breathes. "No, we can't be. They don't even exist, Harry."

"No, this explains everything," Harry says quickly, some sort of realization dawning on his placid features. "This explains why I can't keep calm when something bad happens to you. This explains why I'm so protective over you. Normally that sort of stuff would fade after you were bonded to another alpha. Louis... we're soul mates." Harry's voice is soft, his eyes bright, and his smile the fondest Louis has ever seen.

"No," Louis whines, covering his face. "I've had enough of alphas."

"Louis, do you think I would ever hurt you?" Harry asks softly, his fingers no longer hesitant to touch him as they have been since their world was flipped upside down.

"No," Louis mumbles a bit shamefully.

"Do you trust me?" Harry asks and Louis nods. "Wholeheartedly."

Harry smiles as he leans in, ghosting his lips against the sensitive skin of Louis' neck. "Then show me."

 

Louis feels that tingling sensation again all the way on the drive back to the complex. He hasn't felt it since that first morning in the complex, when he woke up beside Harry mid-heat. Harry's free hand runs up and down his thigh the whole way back and Louis is already quaking in anticipation, his insides turning to liquid as he feels his hole start to weep with slick. There's this unmistakable rush of emotion flooding his chest, filling up all his empty spaces with an insurmountable amount of want that he's never felt before. Harry seems to pick up on his scent, his pupils dilating when he glances at Louis. There's a guttural noise bubbling in his throat that Louis can't stop and it escapes through his mouth in a low pitched moan.

Harry glances at him, his brows rising. "Shit, Lou," he exclaims, chuckling softly.

"I-I, um," Louis falters. "I didn't mean to."

"No, it was hot," Harry breathes, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. "Fuck, Lou. I want you so bad."

"But what about everyone else?" Louis asks, suddenly hyper aware of what they're about to do.

Harry furrows his brows. "Shit, you're right," he mumbles with a sigh. "Maybe we could go back to the old flat; I think I left some spare sheets and a few clothes in my closet. I still have a key...."

"Won't someone be living there?" Louis asks.

Harry shakes his head. "No one's gonna want to live in a flat that was occupied by three alphas and a beta that might as well be an alpha, Louis."

"Right," Louis mutters, his face reddening.

"You're so pretty when you're all red like that," Harry purrs and Louis rolls his eyes, turning an even deeper red.

When Harry pulls into the driveway, he barely leaves time to kill the engine before bounding out and thrusting open Louis' door, forcibly lifting him out of his seat. Louis yelps at this, nuzzling his face into Harry's neck as he chuckles softly, carrying the small omega through the front door bridal style. Louis hums as he presses tiny kisses to Harry's strong neck, his lips ghosting over his collar bones, and Harry's breath hitches, his jeans getting almost unbearably tight.

"You're so fucking hot," Harry mumbles, leaning down to press open mouthed kisses to Louis' neck, making him gasp and whine.

"Want you," he pants, his fingers clutching at the fabric of Harry's shirt.

"Need you," Harry mutters, roughly shoving the material of Louis' shirt to the side and nipping at his shoulder. He's holding him up against the wall, Louis' legs wrapped around his waist and his hands fisting his hair rather roughly, but Harry likes the feel of Louis' small hands gripping at the nape of his neck. Harry grinds against him, eliciting a sharp gasp from Louis' lips.

"Harry," he gasps, partially coming to his senses and  pushing him away. "We can't."

"Course we can," Harry murmurs, his hand slipping under Louis' shirt and pulling him closer.

"No, we can't," Louis mumbles into his shoulder. "Nick's gonna smell you all over me—" He's cut off by his own gasp and he knows exactly what Harry's trying to do.

"Don't have to worry about Nick anymore," Harry mumbles into the wet kisses he plants over Louis' collar bones. "Gonna mark you. Make you mine." He sucks at Louis' neck, leaving a sizable bruise, the angry red-purple color contrasting beautifully with Louis' softly tanned skin. Harry smirks in spite of himself, running a thumb over it before lapping at it to soothe the rawness of it. "All mine."

"Harry," Louis squeaks.

"Shhh, shhh, shhh," Harry shushes, planting a kiss on Louis' pretty mouth and pressing their foreheads together, looking Louis in the eyes with as much sincerity as he can muster. "Trust me. Okay?"

"Okay," Louis breathes.

Harry strokes Louis' thigh lightly. "I don't want to hurt you, or make you feel like you have to do this. If you feel uncomfortable or—or you want to stop, just let me know, and we'll stop. I promise you."

"Okay," Louis whispers with a small nod as Harry presses a soft kiss to his lips. Louis full well knows that he isn't a virgin, but the last time he was with an alpha, he wasn't even fucking awake.

"Shhh," Harry murmurs. "I know what you're thinking about. ’M not gonna do that to you. Wanna make sure you feel everything. Wanna make you feel real good." Harry works them both into his room, his fingers working at ridding Louis' shirt from his body, easing him onto the bed. Louis crosses his arms against his naked torso; there's a hideous, thin, spidery scar that stretches between his hips from his surgery when the doctors removed the deceased fetus. He doesn't like to look at it, for it brings back too many bad memories. Harry gently pries away his arms, nothing but love in his eyes. "Don't cover yourself up," he murmurs.

"It's ugly, Harry," Louis whispers.

"It's not ugly, Lou," Harry mumbles. "You are so beautiful. Every bit of you." He emphasizes this by pressing small kisses along the length of Louis' scar.

"Harry, please," Louis whispers. "Don't."

Harry peers up at him through his lashes. "Okay," he whispers and plants a trail of wet kisses up the rest of Louis' torso, ending with his mouth. Louis tries his hardest to relax, but he just can't seem to open himself up and give Harry full access. He supposes that it's just muscle memory from all the times that Nick touched him, though Louis will never consider those his first sexual encounters. The few times he's been sexual with someone, it's been uncomfortable and forced, with Louis wishing it was over before it even began. And after, Nick would pass out next to him and Louis would sob silently into his pillow, hating himself more and more every night. He's been fucked, but he's never been made love to. This right here with Harry is his moment of deflowering.

"I-I trust you," Louis whispers when Harry's fingers linger near the waistband of his boxers. Harry nods, pressing his lips against his as he works Louis' jeans off.

Louis can't stop himself, his fingers trembling as they skirt along the hemline of Harry's shirt. "Can I?" he asks, biting his lip. "Is it okay?"

Harry chuckles softly into Louis' neck. "It's fine, Louis," he murmurs, nipping at the skin. "You don't have to ask permission to do anything. That's my job. I'm gonna try really hard to ask your permission before I do anything. And I apologize in advance if I forget to." Louis nods slowly, yanking Harry's shirt up over his head, his eyes widening at the definition of Harry's torso. "Like what you see?" Harry asks smugly and Louis nods, running his fingers across Harry's chest.

"When did you get all these tattoos?" he whispers as he traces the laurels inked into the alpha's hips. "I guess I've never asked."

"I got a lot of them before you moved into our little flat," Harry mumbles. "Liam was so mad when I came home with the first one, but then he ended up getting a few himself, so...."

"Do you think that I would look good with a few?" Louis asks as Harry leaves another love bite on his neck.

"You're hot as you are now," Harry mumbles between love bites, "but it's your body, baby." Harry sucks at the space where Louis' neck meets his jaw and Louis just about melts, whimpering as his hips buck.

Harry breaks away sloppily in surprise as Louis tugs at the waistband of his jeans. "Get them off," he whines and Harry happily obliges, shoving off his pants as well. Louis nearly chokes on his own breath at his size and Harry smirks, easing Louis' boxers down his legs. "Shhh," he soothes, pressing a kiss to Louis' hip. "Soon, baby."

He gently rolls Louis to his stomach, pressing a string of wet kisses down the back of his neck soothingly as he presses one finger into his slick, puckered hole, eliciting a moan from the omega. "Good boy," Harry murmurs as he starts to pump his finger. Louis wriggles in discomfort, whimpering a little in the newness of actual intimacy. "Shhh," Harry shushes as he presses in a second finger, getting a sharp gasp out of Louis that goes straight to his achingly hard cock. "Gotta stretch you out, babe." Louis whimpers as he nods in understanding, pressing his face into the mattress to stifle his moans and whimpers as Harry's fingers curl. "You're doing so well, baby," Harry praises as he pushes in a third and final finger.

Louis yelps, shuddering as Harry pumps them quickly. Harry leans forward, peppering Louis' shoulders with kisses when Louis gasps, nearly choking on his own breath. "There, Harry," he pants. "Please." Harry nods, pressing deeper until the tips of his fingers brush against Louis' prostate and Louis nearly falls to pieces, quaking and muttering curse words under his breath. Some thought about Louis swearing pricks at the back of his mind, but Harry can't clear his head enough to see it. He feels it's something important, but Louis is lying beneath him a quivering hot mess and all thoughts turn to his painfully hard cock.

"Ready baby?" Harry rasps and Louis nods into the mattress, gasping as Harry grasps one of his ass cheeks, squeezing gently as he lines himself up to his hole. Louis gasps as the tip brushes against him and Harry strokes a hand up his side soothingly. "Okay, baby?"

"No," Louis gasps into the mattress.

"Do you want me to stop?" Harry asks, pushing himself up on his elbows.

"No," Louis cries, unsticking his face from the mattress.

"Are you sure?" Harry asks.

Louis nods vigorously. "Yes," he gasps. Harry chokes because, shit, he hasn't even properly penetrated him and Louis is all spread for him, shaking violently and leaking in the mere anticipation of it. He presses himself down, pushing in slowly and watching as Louis shudders at the sensation.

"It hurts, Harry," Louis cries as Harry presses a kiss to the nape of his neck. "I know it does, baby," he murmurs, snaking an arm around Louis' front, pulling them both upward as he settles back on his folded legs. Louis gasps at the sudden stretch and full feeling, easing himself down onto Harry, taking him in further. Harry presses kisses to his shoulders, murmuring little praises against Louis' hot skin as he thrusts up into him, whimpers falling from Louis' pretty mouth. Harry reaches around and wraps a hand around Louis’ neglected cock, pumping it in quick short strokes. Louis’ breathing turns to pants, so Harry runs his fingers up and down Louis' sides soothingly as Louis throws his head back against his shoulder, coming white and hot.

Harry bites his lip because, wow, that didn’t take much. “You doing okay, love?” he asks, but Louis doesn’t answer. “Lou?” Harry asks with a little more urgency. Louis just whines, his lips moving without any sound. Harry adjusts them, jostling Louis a bit as he bottoms out accidently. Louis doesn’t even flinch at the sudden stretch. His lips just quiver and Harry is really worried now, stroking Louis’ sides and pressing kisses to his shoulders and back of his neck. “Louis, baby, come back.”

His eyes flutter open, a soft gasp coming from his mouth. “Did I blackout?” he asks, his eyes wide.

Harry shakes his head. “No, you didn’t black out,” he says. “I lost you for a bit there.”

“It was strange,” Louis murmurs. “I completely lost track of time.”

“Oh,” Harry says softly. “I think you just experienced subspace, Lou.”

“I’ve never had that happen before,” Louis whispers as Harry presses a kiss to the bonding point of his neck and shoulders.

“You trust me,” Harry says softly. “You never—you didn’t trust him.”

“Can we not talk about him while we’re fucking?” Louis asks in a pant, reaching down to stroke himself as he feels the stretch at the base of Harry’s cock buried inside him.

Harry sponges soft kisses to Louis' shoulders and feels the tug in his stomach, his thigh muscles locking up and he knows he's going to knot soon. "Louis, baby, I'm gonna knot soon," he rasps. "Do you want it?" Louis nods smally against his shoulder. "Just hang on, love," Harry whispers. "It may hurt a bit." Harry swears when it pops, Louis yelping and crying as Harry bites down hard on the space between his neck and shoulder, drawing blood. Louis yelps when the skin breaks and Harry laps his tongue over it to soothe the hot pain of it. Louis screws his eyes shut as Harry fills him with a copious amount of come, his stomach being pushed out from the combined force and amount of it and Harry's agonizing size. He feels so stretched and full and completely high with the overwhelming sensations he's forcing his body to withstand, it's ridiculous. "It's almost over, baby," Harry soothes, stroking his hands up and down Louis' sides, pressing kisses to his neck and the space between his shoulder as they wait for his knot to go down. Louis mumbles something inaudible, his body fighting the fatigue as well as it can, but it soon loses that fight. Harry gently swipes away the tears streaming silently down his lover's cheeks, cradling his fragile blissed-out body carefully.

Louis is asleep by the time it goes down so Harry pulls out as gingerly as he can so as not to wake his little lover. He cleans both of them up, working a fresh pair of boxers and one of his sweaters onto Louis before slipping into his own fresh pair. He carries Louis to the sofa before he strips the bed of its ruined sheets and replaces them with fresh ones. He retrieves Louis from the sofa, accidentally waking him, but Louis just nuzzles his nose into Harry's chest as he carries him into the room, too full of semen and pleasure to care.

"Love you," he mumbles sleepily and Harry smiles as he gently lowers Louis into the sheets, tugging them up to his chest.

"Love you, too," he whispers as he crawls in next to Louis, cuddling him close.

Louis wakes up feeling sore all over, but too satisfied to care. He stretches comfortably against the solid body snuggled against his back—and his heart nearly stops.

Harry.

Suddenly he can't breathe, his hands scrabbling to free himself from the alpha's hold and waking Harry in the process.

"Lou—?" Harry rasps.

"I-I can't believe we _did_ that," Louis splutters, pulling at his hair. His hands fly to his neck, feeling the broken skin of his new mark. "You marked me!" he squawks, nearing hysteria as he struggles to get out of the sheets. "We _bonded_."

"Louis, calm down," Harry pleads, reaching out to pull Louis back into his chest. Louis struggles against him until Harry growls at him to stop. Louis stills immediately, though his breath is still ragged. Harry has one arm hooked around his waist and the other cupping his cheek. Their faces are so close that Louis can see the tiny flecks of brown in Harry's green eyes.

"Yes, I marked and bonded you," Harry says levelly.

"Did you mean to?" Louis breathes.

"Of course I did," Harry says, brushing his thumb again Louis’ cheekbone. "I love you, Louis. I always have."

“Y-you have?” Louis asks, his eyes wide.

“Yeah,” Harry says. “Always.”

Louis looks down for a moment, and he can feel Harry’s heart thumping against his own. “I guess I could always tell,” he says after a moment, “but I didn’t want to let myself believe it because of the law. I love you, too, by the way.”

Harry noses at his hair, pressing a warm kiss to the top of his head. “I love you more than the law scares me. I’d rather have you like this for a short while than never at all.”

“What would they even do to us?” Louis whispers, looking up at Harry, whose lips are pressed tight.

“I don’t know,” Harry admits, “but I know someone that we trust who can tell us.”

 

_ The New London Genetics Research and Regulatory Facility, 9:18 am _

"Do you see this?" the head of his department asks, looking severe as he walks in. Niall was paged to his super's office without warning, but now he sees the reason and his heart nearly stops. Her office room shades are pulled, the only light coming from the large holographic video capture in the middle of the room. There's grainy footage of Harry and Louis pressed up against the wall of a pub, kissing heavily. He averts his eyes, not particular wanting to watch his friends suck face.

"Yes ma'am," Niall says placidly. He can't say he didn't see this coming.

"Fix it. We can't allow another outbreak," she orders, her hard eyes never leaving the scene unfolding. "The last thing we need is people realizing that they can break their bonds, or that urban legend garbage however true it may be."

"Yes, ma'am," Niall replies with a curt nod.

"I expected you of all people to have a better handle on this, Horan," she says stiffly, straightening her badge. Niall remains silent, standing at attention. "I want you to move your things into your old office; it's still empty. When you fix this issue, you can return to your position."

"Yes ma'am."

Niall's heart pounds in his chest as he moves back into his old office. Harry and Louis will be at the epicenter of disaster if he doesn't warn them. He really doesn't want to tear them apart, because even he will admit that they're as close to soul mates as anyone is ever going to get. He needs to warn them, or else history will repeat itself for the umpteenth time.

It started when people first developed their omegaverse characteristics, a side effect of the nuclear radiation from the Last Great War, which incidentally, is not the last war to ever be fought as it had been intended to be. They're in the middle of a war right now, except not one of the citizens realizes it. Admittedly, a small handful knows, but the facility has a solution to that. Niall doesn't condone the practice, but order must be kept under all circumstances. He fears that if he doesn't warn his friends, everything will explode and the facility will be forced to deploy Phase Five, which will utterly destroy their world as they know it. A gas that affects the memory will release from every drain and citizens will temporarily forget everything they know. The facility typically uses this gas in small amounts on the poor souls who have stumbled across the inconvenient truth, but if word of bond breaking spreads, it will have no choice but to release the gas on the entire city.

The facility has done this twice within the eighty years it's been standing and some of Niall's older co-workers are the only people who remember what life was like before it, since government workers are granted immunity against the gas through an immunization a week before the gas is scheduled to release.

"It's awful," one of the older women mutters over her coffee when the topic arose one day during break. "People forget everything, who they are, what they are, for about a week. They just stumble around, this hollow, lost look in their eyes." She shakes her head gravely as the younger employees listen on with horrified disgust written into their features. "It takes a while for the facility to process each individual's information before it's reinstalled into their memory via the microchip that everyone's implanted with at birth." She sighs, brushing away a few stray hairs. "It's like those 'resets' from old video games from years ago. It's a lot of work for us, and completely unethical. You haven't seen loss until you watch a young child wander past its own mother, neither of them aware of who the other is, or rather was. But it's necessary if we want to keep the public safe from themselves."

Niall closes his eyes with a tired sigh, faced with an impossibly huge decision to make between his friends and the fate of the entire city.

***

Niall delays in warning his friends for about three days. He's been struggling with how to break it to them without feeling so very intrusive. Plus, he's choosing his friends over the safety of the entire city. His job, the safety of his friends and family, and the lives of an entire city rest in his hands, and he's choosing his two of his friends over all of that. He really won't get enough recognition for this. "Harry, could I talk to you?" he asks finally while Harry's working on his column. "Please?" he adds rather desperately.

"Yeah, what about?" Harry asks, furrowing his brows as he shuts his laptop lid.

Liam cranes his neck at them from the couch. "Everything okay, Niall?" he asks and Niall barks out the fakest laugh Harry has ever heard.

"Fine, Liam," he says. "Everything is fine."

"What did you want to talk about?" Harry asks, his voice soft.

"No, not here," Niall mumbles, glancing upward. He leads Harry downstairs to the basement of the complex. It's dry, but it has a lingering wet scent to its barren concrete walls. Harry's arms bristle with goose bumps at the chilly air as Niall walks around, tapping at the walls. "Good, no cameras or mics here," he says once satisfied.

"What?" Harry asks.

"Listen, Harry, before we start," Niall starts, scrubbing his hands over his face with a sigh, "you know I love you and Louis, right?"

"Yeah," Harry says, drawing out the word uncertainly, wondering what this is all about.

Niall rakes a hand through his hair, looking flustered. His ears are red by the time he starts to stumble over his words. "Harry, um, there are cameras literally everywhere. And, um, my super called me in earlier this week and—"

"Oh, my God," Harry groans, smacking his forehead as realization of how utterly stupid he is dawns over him. "They know?" he breathes, his heart slamming against his ribs. How could they not have foreseen this? Their lives are almost completely orchestrated by the government, so of course they're under constant surveillance. "About me and Louis?"

Niall nods, swallowing hard. "Harry, I love you, so I'm telling you this as a warning, okay? If you two want to remain mates, you're going to have to leave the city, or go into hiding or something or else they're gonna—they're gonna wipe your memories, and ours."

Harry's stomach drops to his toes; he feels like he's going to be sick. "They can't do that, can they?" he asks desperately.

"They have before," Niall says, his voice hollow. "They use it on people who figure out the soul mate and bond breaking things or the wa—um, other stuff like that. They're not gonna stop the practice now."

"I have to tell Louis," Harry whispers, feeling even more like he's going to be sick. Granted, they both took part in breaking the law, but it's entirely his fault since he convinced Louis to sleep with him (okay so it didn't take a whole lot of convincing, but still). Now the two of them have endangered all of their friends within the course of one night. Harry takes the stairs one at a time, his feet feeling like lead with every step. His insides feel like they have been scrambled, much like his racing thoughts. He catches sight of Louis sitting on the sofa with a book when he reaches the top stair, looking completely unperturbed and Harry's heart sinks even further because Louis looks more at peace than he has in ages and he's going to disrupt that. Niall claps him on the shoulder, giving it a tight, reassuring squeeze. Harry sighs as Niall brushes past him and collects his courage before reluctantly walking over. "We need to talk, Louis," Harry murmurs and Louis looks up from his book, his smile fading in his uncertainty. Harry eases himself onto the sofa, holding Louis' hands in both of his. "Niall told me that they know."

Louis swallows, his Adam's apple visibly bobbing. His blue eyes are wide and full of doubt and Harry wants to kiss him okay, but he can't in front of everyone else. " _They_ they?" he asks.

Harry nods with a sigh; the inevitable and ominous they. "We need to figure some things out," he says softly. "Like what we're going to do if you end up being pregnant."

"I'm not having an abortion," Louis says listlessly. "I've already lost one pup; I don't want to do it on purpose."

"Louis," Harry says gently. "I would never ask you to do that. It would be my pup, too, and I wouldn't want to see something as precious as our child just destroyed." Louis nods uncertainly and Harry squeezes his hands. "We're gonna be okay," he promises, though he isn't sure of that at all.

 

At dinner, Nick sits unusually close to Louis, who puts all his energy into acting like he doesn't want to run and lock himself in his room. Harry makes it a little easier, though, giving Louis small smiles from across the table, but Louis can't hide his startled jump when Nick places a hand on his thigh under the table and leaves it there. Louis is even more uncomfortable throughout the rest of dinner and Nick's hand just travels higher on his leg. He wants to cry out when Nick digs his fingers into the fleshier parts of his thigh. If Nick had any sort of affection for him, Louis doubts he would display it in front of the company of the complex, so he's caught completely off guard when Nick leans over to whisper in his ear.

"I'm ruining you after we're done here," Nick whispers and Louis closes his eyes as he desperately tries to refrain from throwing up at the dinner table. So much for affection, he thinks sullenly. Nick is highly impatient through the remainder of dinner, with Louis eating deliberately slow to hopefully put Nick out of the mood, but his efforts prove to be fruitless. Suddenly, Nick pushes away from the table and gets to his feet, grabbing Louis by his upper arm. "Excuse us," Nick apologizes, though Louis knows it's completely insincere, "but we're going to call it a night." Harry looks indifferent, but Louis can tell from the way his nostrils are flaring that he's completely furious.

"I think Louis is still eating," Zayn offers quietly, catching Louis' eye. Louis makes a mental note to tell Zayn that he loves him more often.

"He'll be fine," Nick says. "Besides, he should start watching his weight, yeah? Look at him, he's enormous." Nick barks out a laugh as he smacks Louis' bum. Louis is beyond humiliated and Harry’s face is twisted so that it looks as if he's trying to lay an egg. Nick shoves him roughly down the hallway to their room and the decision making portion of Louis' brain shuts itself off as his instincts kick in no matter how badly he doesn't want to be in that room. Nick's hands are smooth, but he's rough with them, unlike Harry, whose hands are rough and calloused, but he touched Louis so gently as if he feared he were made of glass. Nick handles him like he wants to break him, and Louis wouldn't put it past him. Nick noses at his neck, breathing deeply, and frowns slightly, but doesn't stop tugging at Louis' sweater. "What the fuck?" Nick asks glaringly and Louis tenses; he's still a little full, so he looks rounder without his sweater. Alphas are notorious for their copious amounts of cum, and Harry is no exception. "You need to stop gorging yourself while I'm away," Nick continues. "I don't want to have to fuck a whale." Louis feels the tears prickling at the backs of his eyes as Nick palms himself through his jeans, muttering something about having to get it up himself. Nick noses at his neck again, frowning deeper this time. "You smell different," he says lowly, his eyes drifting down Louis' front. "Are you pregnant again?" He leans in again, sniffing at Louis' neck, dangerously close to his new mark, courtesy of Harry, that covers Nick’s almost identically. Nick narrows his eyes. "You don't smell like it, but you look it," he says, pressing a hand down hard on Louis' lower stomach.

Louis bites back a whimper of pain and shakes his head. "I'm not," he mumbles.

"You're not what?" Nick prompts coldly.

"I'm not pregnant," Louis whispers, ignoring the voice in the back of his head as it screams the possibility of the opposite. Nick wrinkles his nose and Louis is crestfallen, knowing that wasn't convincing enough.

"Whatever," Nick says with a sigh. "I'm no longer in the mood. I'll have to get you pregnant after you get rid of that," Nick says, pointing accusingly at Louis' slightly rounded stomach. Louis squirms, wrapping his arms around himself, but he still feels Nick's eyes on him, and they cut like knives. "You really need to get a handle on your weight." Nick disappears into the bathroom and Louis crawls under the sheets, the tears relentlessly streaming down his cheeks.

Nick slips beneath the covers an hour or so later, falling asleep immediately like he normally does. Louis pretends for a good half hour just to be absolutely certain before slipping out from under the sheets and out of the room into the hallway. Harry’s door is slightly ajar, so Louis scurries over, slipping in.

Harry is still awake, the glow of his laptop sharpening his features. He glances up at the sound of Louis entering and quickly shuts the lid, pushing it aside as Louis clambers onto the bed, latching onto Harry. “What happened?” Harry asks quietly as he plays with Louis’ hair the way he knows he likes it.

Louis sniffs. “He’s suspicious,” he mumbles, his arms tightening around Harry’s narrow hips. He debates mentioning the things Nick said about him, because they cut really deep, but Harry's giving him a look that feels like he can read his thoughts. “He called me a whale, Harry," he says after a while, digging his fingers into his thighs accusingly.

Harry furrows his brows. “Louis, you’re not at all heavy." Louis pouts at him and Harry realizes that the damage has already been done, so all that's left is to try and build him up. "You're fine, trust me," Harry assures him, tapping the tip of his nose. "I love your body the way it is. Why do you want to impress Nick so much?"

Louis sighs, a small smile tugging at his lips. "You're right," he mumbles. "I don't care what he has to say to me anymore."

"There you go," Harry coos, squeezing his omega tight.

"I just really hate how he can get into my head like that," Louis mumbles as Harry presses a kiss to the side of his head. "I hate him so much, Harry."

"I know you do, baby," Harry says softly, kissing the middle of Louis' forehead. "Do you want me to kick his ass?"

Louis nuzzles his face into Harry's chest. "Not yet," he says. "He'll get really suspicious if you do that, and we're staying under the radar, remember?"

"Yeah," Harry sighs, ruffling Louis' hair. "We're not doing a very good job of it, are we?"

"No, I suppose not," Louis says thoughtfully. "It could be worse, though."

Harry raises his eyebrows. "How could it be worse?" he asks. "If we don't stop this or go into hiding or something, they're gonna wipe our memories. It's going to be as if I'd never met you, and that's the worst possible thing."

"As satisfying is it is to hear that, I have to disagree," Louis says, playing with the tips of Harry's fingers. "The worst possible thing is us not being us. I mean, what am I gonna do without you? I need someone to kick Nick's ass for me, and I'm sure as hell that Liam wouldn't do it for me."

Harry chuckles softly, dropping a kiss to the top of Louis' head. "You're terrible," he says.

"You love me, though," Louis says, looking up at Harry with doe-like eyes.

"Yeah," Harry says. "Always."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading and putting up with me!!!!! :)
> 
> this fic is like my baby but it's frustrating me as of late :////


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yay!!!!!!!!!! an update!!!!!!!!  
> again, not a whole lot of rewriting done this chapter and this is unbeta'd because i think you guys deserve an update now :)

The next morning, after Louis has snuck back into Nick’s bed to keep him from suspicion, Nick is called in for an emergency meeting in Washington D.C.. Louis breathes easily after Nick throws together his luggage and flies out the door toward the airport. Things have moved so quickly since he and Harry bonded that Louis hasn’t even had the opportunity to feel the elation and peacefulness that being with Harry brings him.

He smiles to himself and slips out of bed to join Harry in his. The sheets are warm, and Harry is even warmer, like he always is. Louis swears that Harry is a human furnace, which is a good thing because Louis is always cold. Harry lumps himself over Louis once he’s crawled in, the corners of his mouth kinking upward in his sleep. The sheets are twisted like he’d had trouble sleeping, which he probably had, knowing his mate was so close, yet so far away. Louis cards a hand through Harry’s hair, letting him know that he’s there.

Harry opens his eyes with a sleepy grunt, smiling at Louis sleepily. “Morning,” he mumbles. “Wish you could sleep next to me. I’d sleep better knowing you’re right next to me.”

“I wish I could, too, but Nick would murder you,” Louis says, keeping it to himself that Nick would probably kill him as well. It’s better if Harry doesn’t get worked up.

Harry grunts in agreement and after a pause, asks, “Hasn’t he noticed that you’re not bonded to him anymore?”

“He said I smell different,” Louis says, which is a pretty good indicator of a person’s status. Each person has a unique scent that can alter based on their situation or status. “I know that when a bonded couple who’s in love and their bond is broken, it hurts like half your heart’s been ripped out of your chest, but I didn’t feel anything when you bit me besides our bond forming.”

“What’d that feel like?” Harry asks softly.

“Really, really good,” Louis answers with a soft smile. “It felt like I never have to worry again. It felt like springtime, when everything starts to bloom and the temperature rises and you no longer need a coat because the sun is enough to keep you warm.”

“It felt the same way for me,” Harry says, a smile on his lips. “I felt like a huge weight had lifted from my shoulders because you’d be safe with me from now on. I’m going to do everything in my power to keep you safe, Louis.”

Louis smiles at him. “I know,” he says, and it feels good to say it.

They stay in the sheets for a few more hours before Harry gets up to shower. Louis nestles himself in the sleep-warm sheets, burying himself in the comforting scent that Harry has left behind. He feels safe here, and wishes he could sleep next to Harry all the time. He must have fallen asleep for a short while because Harry jostles him lightly and tells him that he’s going to make breakfast for them. Louis mumbles his assent and rolls over. Harry ends up bringing a tray so that they can have breakfast in bed.

“Wish Nick was gone all the time,” Harry mutters as Louis sips his orange juice.

“He basically is,” Louis mumbles, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, but there’ll be nights that you’ll have to sleep with him,” Harry grumbles. “I don’t even like the idea of it.” Louis nuzzles closer to Harry, sensing his unsettled mood. Harry seems to relax at this, letting out a sigh and pressing a kiss to the top of Louis’ head. “You make everything better, you know that?” he asks with a small smile.

Louis makes a pleased sort of noise, tipping his head back to smile up at Harry. “I’m not scared with you,” he says softly.

Harry smiles down at him, adoration glinting in his eyes. “I love you,” he whispers.

“I love you, too,” Louis relays back.

They sit in a comfortable silence, nestled against one another. Harry’s fingers drum rhythmically on Louis’ forearm, _tap tap tap_. Louis can feel the meaning behind the rhythm as Harry taps it out over and over again, treating it like a mantra: _I love you, I love you, I love you._

***

Louis walks into the kitchen as Harry prepares breakfast one morning, and promptly vomits into the sink at the scent of cooking eggs. Harry pats his back, cooing at him as Louis' throat burns. Amy asks him if he's all right, and Liam is too busy getting ready to leave that he doesn't notice. Niall eyes the scene from over his coffee, brows raised questioningly. Louis heaves a deep sigh and rinses out his mouth, spatting the awful aftertaste into the kitchen sink. When he looks up, Harry is giving him a worried look, his mouth a thin line and his brows drawn together.

"What?" Louis asks as the others disperse from the kitchen to leave for the day.

"Do you think you might be pregnant?" Harry asks softly once the room is clear.

Louis' stomach drops. When he and Harry mated four weeks ago, his heat was due within the next week, and he never ended up getting it, meaning he has about a 99% chance he could be pregnant. The possibility of it hadn’t even crossed his mind. "Fuck," he mutters, pressing a hand to his stomach. He looks to Harry with wide eyes, the blood In his veins running cold. When he was pregnant before, he could tell early, but he’s been so swept up with his new sense of self and everything Niall told them that he hasn’t been paying attention to the signs his own body gave him.

"We should get it checked out," Harry says decisively. He reaches for Louis’ hands, taking up both of them in his own. "I'll be with you no matter what."

Louis smiles weakly at that, his heart tugging with affection for his alpha. "Thank you, Harry," he whispers.

Harry draws him in and drops a kiss to the top of his head. "Don't need to thank me. 'S my job to take care of you." Louis' heart definitely melts at that, knowing how protective Harry was over him when they weren't bonded and how seriously he takes his well-being.

"God, I just hope that I'm not," Louis mutters, taking notice of how Harry stiffens.

"Why?" Harry asks tentatively. "Do... do you not want pups with me?"

"It's not that, of course I want kids with you," Louis tells him. "I'm just afraid of Nick."

Harry growls lowly at the mention of Louis' former alpha, his fingertips pressing into Louis' hips. "Don't you worry yourself about him," Harry says. "You just focus on you and this pup."

Louis feels his cheeks redden at that. "Harry, we don't even know if—" _Oh, never mind_. Harry isn't listening to him anymore as he noses at Louis' hair, pressing small kisses to his scalp. Louis relaxes now, Harry's tenderness having soothed his fears for the time being. Louis doesn't know how he'd manage without Harry.

Harry wants to go to a doctor as soon as possible, despite Louis’ pleading for him to just go out and buy a test from the drugstore. Harry tells him that doctors are much more reliable, and that they’re not taking any chances with Louis’ or their potential baby’s safety. After a little more resistance on Louis’ part, an appointment is scheduled for later that day and before Louis knows it, they’re checking into the pediatric clinic.

Harry has Louis sit in one of the hard plastic chairs while he fills out his paperwork. As he sits there, Louis tries to keep himself calm by sweeping his gaze about the room. He takes in the rather childlike setup of the clinic’s waiting area. The walls are soft pastel warm colors with a mural of animals painted on one of them. Toys and stuffed animals are strewn about in one corner of the room and small children play together quietly, their mothers and fathers watching carefully on. Across from them sits a beta couple fussing with a sickly sounding pup, obvious worry written into their features. Louis feels a pang of sympathy for them while at the same time imagining himself and Harry with a baby of their own. His cheeks flush with color as Harry sits next to him, giving him a soft smile. As much trouble as they’d put themselves in, Louis would love to see Harry cradling their own pup.

“What’re you thinking about, Lou?” Harry asks quietly, jolting Louis out of his thoughts.

Before Louis can respond, a nurse in kitten patterned scrubs calls his name. She waits for them as Harry helps Louis to his feet and walks them over to her, his hand resting on Louis’ back the whole way. She leads them into a private room where she checks Louis’ vitals. She tells them that the doctor will be with them shortly before departing from the room.

Louis lets out a shuddering sigh, and Harry shifts to be closer to him. “What’s wrong, Louis?” he asks.

“I’m scared,” Louis admits. “I don’t know what I want, either.”

Harry cups his face in his hands, thumbs brushing lightly against Louis’ cheekbones. “Whatever happens, we’ll get through it, okay? No need to cry.”

Louis lets loose a single syllable laugh, darting his eyes away from Harry’s. “I’m not crying,” he murmurs. Harry smiles warmly at Louis’ diligence and presses a kiss to his forehead as a frizzy haired redheaded alpha opens the door.

“Hello,” she chirps, sounding Scottish. “You must be Harry and Louis.” She pushes the door closed with her foot and makes her way over to where Louis sits on the examination table. Harry moves out of her way, although keeping his fingers close by for Louis to hold. “I’m Dr. Kinley. What brings you in today?”

"I ache all over and I'm dizzy when I stand up," Louis reports, his stomach tightening with nerves. He feels like he's going to be sick as she flicks through pages on her tablet.

"Well, it looks like all your vitals are in check," she says, flashing him a warm smile. "Would you object to giving me a blood sample?"

"No, I guess not," Louis mumbles and Harry squeezes his hand.

"Great," Dr. Kinley beams. Once she's got a sample, she tells them that the results will take a few moments to generate and that she'll be right back. Louis shakes, so Harry smoothes his hands up and down Louis' arms soothingly. They sit in a heavy silence until Dr. Kinley returns a few moments later, her smile wider than before. "Congratulations, boys," she says. "Louis, you’re pregnant."

"Pregnant?" Harry breathes and the doctor nods affirmatively.

"Yes, and the scent should present itself fairly soon. If it doesn't, there may be some complications with the embryo. I'd say if his scent doesn't change within two weeks, come back in. And according to my records, you've had complications before, yes?" Louis just sits there, clenching and unclenching his hands in his lap.

"Yeah, he, um, lost it the first time," Harry answers for him. "It wasn't his fault, though," he adds as she taps away on her tablet.

"All right," she says, giving them each a chipper smile. "I'll give you two a few minutes to yourselves. Feel free to go up to the second floor when you're ready." And with that, she slips out the door. They take a few moments to just embrace each other in heavy silence, a few tears shed, before they head for the elevator.

The elevator ride is quiet, with neither Harry nor Louis knowing what to say or do. Louis finds himself unable to pin down what emotions he’s feeling. All he knows is that he’s scared.

He sniffs a little and Harry’s attention is on him immediately. “Don’t cry, love,” he soothes. “This is happy news, yeah?”

Louis sighs. “I don’t know yet,” he admits. “Life just got a little more complicated.”

Harry presses his mouth into a thin line. “We’ll get through it,” he promises and adds after a pause, “Unless you don’t want to go through with this.”

Louis swallows hard. “I don’t want to get rid of it,” he whispers, pressing a shaking hand to his tummy. “It’s definitely not an ideal circumstance we’ve gotten ourselves into, but… I don’t want to go through losing a pup again–whether by accident or on purpose.”

Harry nods. “I’ll support you no matter what you choose, though,” he promises, giving Louis’ hand a tight squeeze. “We’re in this together.”

Louis nods as the elevator doors open and the two of them step out, making their way to the office Dr. Kinley directed them to. Harry knocks on the door left ajar, and a woman’s voice tells them to enter. They sit in silence for a while, taking in the room. Its pale blue walls are home to a multitude of posters proclaiming the symptoms of pregnancy and the importance of prenatal care. There's one that depicts the different stages of development and Louis glances away once he gets to the birth part as she finishes up on her computer, flashing brown eyes so dark they’re almost black at them. Much like Dr. Watson, it’s obvious that Dr. Bai is a beta. Louis assumes now that the majority of medical personnel are betas, and for good measure. He shudders at the thought of going to see an alpha doctor when his heat is days away. “Good afternoon,” she greets, getting to her feet and extending her hand to shake. “I’m Dr. Lynn Bai. You must be Mr. and Mr. Tomlinson. Dr. Kinley sent you up?”

Harry nods, not batting an eye at her assumption that he and Louis are married. Harry then introduces the both of them, leaving Louis to quietly make his way over to the examination table.

“Not so fast, Mr. Tomlinson,” Dr. Bai calls. “I need to have a talk with each of you individually before we can get started.” Louis must be visibly distraught because Harry comes to his defense.

“Does it have to be individual?” he asks, sounding a little desperate on Louis’ behalf.

Dr. Bai presses her mouth into a thin line. “It’s preferred that I chat with you each individually, but if you insist against it, I can’t tell you no.” Louis relaxes at that, smiling at Harry from his perch on the table. “Harry, if you’d like to sit in one of the chairs against the wall, we can begin.”

“Is it all right if I stand next to Louis?” Harry asks and Dr. Bai nods.

"I’ve already brought up both your families’ medical histories, so we won’t have to discuss that,” Dr. Bai reports. “Both your families seem to be in utmost health,” she says with a light laugh and Louis almost rolls his eyes at this; of course they are: the past four generations have been genetically matched to prevent the more serious malformations. “And I’m assuming that neither of you have had any chronic illnesses?” Both Louis and Harry shake their heads. No one has suffered from anything more than the common cold in years. The genetic facilities managed to rid the world of the most deadly diseases, but not the common cold. Go figure. Dr. Bai rattles off a number of questions like if either of them smoke, drink, do any other drugs and/or medication (no, occasionally, once, and only prescriptions, vitamins, or for pain).

"How many partners have you had, Louis?" Dr. Bai asks suddenly and Louis nearly chokes.

"Um, two," he mutters, figuring it's better to just be honest with his doctor. Dr. Bai raises her brows, but says nothing as she types it into her tablet. "Have you had any STDs and/or STIs?" Louis shakes his head and she taps away. "Have you been or are a victim of any type of abuse?"

Harry rubs his shoulder as Louis bristles. Dr. Bai glances up and notices Louis’ pallor. “We can come back to that one if you’d like,” she says gently. Louis nods, so she directs her attention to Harry, asking him the same questions as Louis. Harry answers with one, none, and no. Once she has recorded Harry’s answers, Dr. Bai looks back to Louis. “Are you ready to answer?” she asks.

Louis nods shakily, clutching Harry’s hand for support. “My dad knocked me around for a while and abused me verbally throughout my childhood,” he says, his voice a whisper. “My old alpha abused me sexually and emotionally.” Dr. Bai nods sympathetically as she records his answer.

“He’s already seen a therapist about it,” Harry adds quickly.

“Yes, we’ve seen that in our records,” Dr. Bai says, smiling gently. “Thank you for telling me, though. And I noticed that you said old alpha...?” Louis’ cheeks turn a ruddy pink. “Everything said in this room is completely confidential, Louis,” Dr. Bai tells him. “I can’t report you for anything illegal.”

He lets out a breath, Harry squeezing his hand in support. Louis explains the matching, the abuse, the manipulation, the drugs, and the miscarriage in a shaky voice. Unlike Dr. Watson, Dr. Bai doesn’t record the information. She merely listens to him with sincerity written into her features. He tells her that he and Harry mated and bonded, resulting in his pregnancy, thus breaking the law.

"Louis, you would not believe how many omegas there are that are in your situation," she says, giving him a small, reassuring smile.

"Really? How many?" he asks out of curiosity and Dr. Bai shakes her head. "Sorry, confidential. But if you need any type of assistance, we have many, many clinics available for patrons in your situation. I can give you a list of the clinics, if you'd like."

Louis glances at Harry before making up his mind. "Um, no thank you," he murmurs.

"Are you sure? They're very professional and have helped thousands. Everything is completely confidential." Louis shakes his head and she gives him a sympathetic smile but doesn't press it any further. "One more thing: Do you think these instances of abuse will affect your pregnancy or how you plan to parent?" Dr. Bai asks.

Louis hesitates; Nick will still be in the complex and he's going to find out sooner or later, but he also has Harry to protect him, so he shakes his head. Harry squeezes his hand and presses a kiss to his temple. "Thank you for your cooperation, Louis, Harry," she says with a smile, nodding to each of them as she addresses them. "I assure you, you and your baby will be in good hands here.”

“Thank you," Harry gushes.

"You're welcome," Dr. Bai says. "There are a few things we need to discuss before I can let you go, though." She describes how Louis' pregnancy should go more In depth than Dr. Kinley did and gives them a few pamphlets of Information.

"Shall we take a look at the little one now?" Dr. Bai asks after she's given them all the information they need for now. Both Harry and Louis nod. "Okay, Louis. Sit back on the table for me and pull that shirt up to your chest." Louis does as he's told as she readies her equipment. "This is going to be a little cold," she warns before spreading a clear gel on his lower tummy. Louis hisses at the coldness of It and Harry presses presses a kiss to the back of Louis' hand held in his own. Dr. Bai presses the wand of the machine against Louis' skin, moving It around to find the baby’s location. "Here we are," she says after a moment or two. She points to a small white dot on the screen. "This here is your pup. I'd say it's about four weeks old, so the scent should present itself fairly soon." Harry and Louis nod to themselves, knowing that the time frame is accurate.

"It's so tiny," Harry marvels.

"It _is_ just four weeks old," Dr. Bai says. "It won't really look like a pup until further along in the pregnancy."

“How’re you feeling, Lou?” Harry asks, turning to look at Louis, who just stares blankly at the screen.

“Nervous,” Louis replies after a moment. He and Harry are responsible for that little cluster of cells for the rest of their lives, and that’s a little intimidating. Before, he couldn’t bring himself to form an attachment to Nick’s pup, but looking at the tiny speck of him and Harry on the screen, he instantly feels an amount of love that he’s never felt before, both for Harry and for the baby in his belly. He sniffs a little, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as Dr. Bai shuts off the screen and cleans the gel off his stomach.

Louis tugs his shirt back down and Harry takes his hand as he gets to a sitting position on the table. Dr. Bai prints off copies of the ultrasound and hands a prescription slip to Harry. “The pharmacy has already been alerted of this prescription,” she says. “It should be ready in about an hour. I’ve also given you a list of vitamins that Louis should take to help this pregnancy run smoothly.”

“Thank you,” Harry says.

“It’s my pleasure,” Dr. Bai says with a smile. “Would you like to book another appointment now?”

“Yeah,” Harry says and hands the slip and copies to Louis as he talks with Dr. Bai. Louis looks at the prints, still floored by what he’s feeling. He’s elated and scared and in love, all at the same time, all because of a four-week-old cluster of cells. Harry finishes up with Dr. Bai and walks over to help Louis down from the table. They each shake hands with Dr. Bai, who wishes them luck as they walk out the door. Louis hugs a print to his chest as they walk out of the building, a pep in his step that hasn’t been there in a long time.

“So,” Harry says as they settle into the SUV. “What’s your verdict, Lou?”

“‘M scared,” Louis admits, “but I’m over the moon, you know?”

Harry smiles and leans over to press a soft kiss to Louis’ temple. “Me, too,” he murmurs. “We’ll be scared together, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Louis agrees as the engine starts and Harry drives them out of the lot.

 

“Dr. Bai recommended this,” Harry says, squinting at the bottle. “I think.” He glances at her scribbled writing and sighs. Doctors may have managed to cure most of the world’s deadly diseases, but it seems like they haven’t found the cure to their indecipherable handwriting. “I guess we’ll just get both kinds,” he says decidedly, and Louis smiles up at him, threading their fingers together despite knowing that there are cameras. Really, how much more trouble could they get into for holding hands? Harry gives him a quick smile back, squeezing his fingers. He’d been adamant about them getting Louis’ recommended medication while waiting for his prescriptions directly after finishing up at his appointment. They’re stood in the pharmacy, peering at the vast array of drugs when Harry asks Louis what he thinks it is.

Louis just laughs, nuzzling his face into the fabric of Harry’s jacket. “Honestly, Harry,” he says, biting back a smile. “It’s just a bunch of cells at the moment. We won’t get to find out for another four months.” Harry just shrugs, smiling sheepishly. He mumbles under his breath as he reads off the note Dr. Bai gave them, and when he can’t read that, he pulls out one of the many pamphlets she gave them. He reads off that, placing the recommended vitamins into the basket with Louis hanging off his arm.

“Louis?”

All of the positive emotions that had filled him are doused with terror. Louis detaches himself from Harry as quickly as he can and swallows hard as Nick approaches them, his brows furrowed. “What are you doing here?” he asks, not looking at Louis, but looking Harry up and down.

“I, um, went to the doctor,” Louis mumbles.

“Why is _he_ with you?” Nick asks, nodding toward Harry in a way that only he can manage as accusingly.

“He didn’t want to go alone,” Harry says, shifting his arm so that Nick won’t see all the prenatal vitamins in the basket. “Didn’t want to be out and about in the city all by himself, and frankly, Liam wouldn't let him leave by himself. You know how he is now.”

“I didn’t know you’d be back from your trip today,” Louis says conversationally, hoping to draw Nick’s attention back to himself.

Nick sighs. “I’m back only for tonight,” he says. “Then I have to fly to Beijing for two weeks. I’m just picking up some more pills for my headaches. It’s loud in Beijing," he adds conversationally.

“Oh,” Louis mumbles. “Are you coming home tonight or…?”

Nick shakes his head. “I’m just staying in a hotel for the night.” He sighs again, raking a hand through his hair. “Listen, I’ve been thinking about how I’ve been treating you recently and I just want to say that I’m sorry.” Louis’ breath hitches; he wasn’t expecting any type of apology from Nick. “I know this is unwarranted, but—”

“Unwarranted,” Harry snorts under his breath.

“Excuse me?” Nick asks, dropping his uncharacteristic softness.

“That’s bullshit,” Harry says, and Louis nudges him, hissing his name.

Harry balls up his fists as Louis places a hand on his elbow, whispering, “Harry, don’t. Please.” Harry shakes his head. “Sorry,” he mutters. “It’s just that I’m still a little _attache_ d to Louis.”

Nick stares at him, but disregards it with a shake of his head. “Anyway,” he says, “I’ve come to realize that I’m not going to get anything out of you by treating you like I have, so I’d just like to apologize.”

 _In the middle of a pharmacy_ , Louis thinks, entirely unamused. “It’s gonna take a lot to make up for what you’ve done to me,” he says quietly.

“I know,” Nick murmurs. “I’m going to start now.” He gestures to the book clutched in his hand. The title reads _How to Relate to Your Omega_ by Dr. James Carlisle, Ph. D. “It’s not much, but I think it’ll be fundamental to what I’m trying to accomplish.” He gives Louis a small smile that Louis has no intention of returning, but forces himself to anyway. “Anyway,” Nick says, returning to his business-like composure. “I’ll see you when I return.” He steps forward, his head tilted as if he’s debating whether or not he should touch Louis, so he just settles for an awkward handshake before scurrying off.

“That was strange,” Harry murmurs once he’s disappeared among the medical books.

“Yeah,” Louis breathes, his heart twisting with some emotion he can’t recognize. “Have you got everything?” he asks, nodding toward the basket.

“Yeah,” Harry answers. “But I want to pick up a couple books.” Louis rolls his eyes fondly. Harry has this glint in his eyes as he glances at titles and scans reviews. Louis’ stomach flutters because Harry looks so happy and intent on giving their child the best head start they can manage. Despite all the trouble that’s bound to find them, Louis wouldn’t have it any other way.

After Louis’ name is called over the PA system, the two of them head to the counter to pick up his prescription, which will curb his morning sickness for the most part. Dr. Bai was also proactive enough to include a pill that will act as a neutralizer for his scent so that Nick can’t smell him and do anything to harm him. Louis thinks his doctor is a saint.

They walk out together hand in hand, their arms swinging between them. Harry carries the bag with Louis’ vitamins and the books he’d bought, claiming that Louis shouldn’t lift anything but a pinkie.

As they get back into the SUV, Harry asks, “D’you wanna get something to eat, love? It’s been a while since breakfast, and you need to eat more frequently now.”

Louis hums his consent. “I’m really in the mood for fish and chips,” he says.

“You can’t have fish, Louis,” Harry tells him gently, prepared for an angry outburst of pregnancy hormones.

“Oh,” is all Louis says. “I’d like some ice cream. Can I eat that?”

“Yes,” Harry answers, relieved. “We’ll go to your favorite shop on that one corner. How does that sound?”

“Perfect,” Louis beams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!! i'm hoping that i can get updates up more often than as of late, but please bear with me!!!!  
> thank you all for being so patient with me :) it really helps  
> and your comments make my day!!!! :)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tbh there's not going to be a whole lot of rewriting until the part that i ended with in the original. there's some tweaking here to make it fit with the newer plot though
> 
> so this is basically the same filler chapter :/// sorry i feel like it's important to the story ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

Louis had always been quite rambunctious as a child, getting into nearly everything he possibly could. He had caused many of his mother’s headaches from his uninhibited misadventures, and Johannah was certain that he’d grow up to be an alpha, or at least a beta since the last omega in their family had been her own grandmother. When he turned thirteen, she expected him to come bounding down the stairs just like any other morning, shouting and jeering his new omegaverse status happily. Instead, after a good half hour of absolute silence, she opened his bedroom door to find him silently paging through a book, an act he hadn’t done since he learned how to run. She was of course taken aback and slightly thrilled at the sudden quiet, but also very concerned, so she brought him to a specialist just to be absolutely certain, who confirmed her fears.

Louis was an omega.

Male omegas are not as abundant as their female counterparts, and are considered quite rare. They’re arguably more valuable than the average female omega due to their rarity, but an omega of either gender is considered treasure-like. She tried her best to keep her son out of danger, but an omega’s scent is a lot stronger than that of a beta’s. She switched him to a private school where the school body was made up almost entirely of omegas; so naturally, Louis was one of about ten boys in a school of one hundred fifty. There, Louis would be safe if his heat ever sprung up in the middle of the day, but she still insisted he take suppressants. She spent the majority of his teenage years warning him about the prowess of alphas, growing even more reluctant and wary of his fast approaching eighteenth birthday, where he would leave the little nest she’d created so painstakingly.

Louis spent his teenage years rebelliously, insisting that his mother was much too paranoid for her own good. She had pleaded with him to quit his football team; it was much too dangerous for him to be on the field with all those alpha players. Louis had ignored her pleas until his eleventh year as he was about to score the winning goal when an alpha player from the opposing team tackled him at the waist and pinned him to the ground, fervently tearing his uniform off his body.

Louis could do nothing at the time; he was so frozen with fear and the alpha’s domination had started to cloud his mind. The referees ran onto the field, blowing their whistles and prying the other boy off of him. Louis was handled roughly, the refs shoving him into the nurse’s station where his cuts were tended to and an ice pack administered to his head. The nurse wanted to get a look at his back to make certain that none of the vertebrae had shifted from his fall, but Louis protested profusely. The nurse eventually got her way and found the bruises and scars, Louis pleading with her not to tell his mother, but the nurse hurried out of the tent. Moments later, she returned with a teary-eyed Jay in tow. Upon seeing his mother, Louis burst into tears as well. Jay pulled him into her arms immediately, telling him that it would be okay.

Louis resigned from the team the following day, and it was not because his mother pleaded with him for nearly four hours after the incident. Within a week, she had brought him to his first therapy session. It was all that she could think of to do for her son. There, she heard of the things his father did and said, and promised him that she wouldn’t let that happen to him again.

Two years later, she nearly fainted when he told her that he would be moving into a flat that four alphas called their home, wondering how on earth he was so calm about it after all the warnings she had filled his head with. It’s not that alphas are bad people, she had always told him, they just have trouble controlling themselves. She never wanted him to believe that alphas were bad people, but she made him wary of their underlying intent. Obviously, she had done her job well because he called her after two months of living with those alphas to say that they were all such good friends and treated him like a little brother. She was happy to hear that they were keeping such a close eye on him, so she invited them all over for Christmas, but only the one called Harry was able to make it. The others had adamantly apologized for missing it (they all had their own families to visit), but assured her that they would meet her sometime soon. She had been nervous to meet one of the alphas her son called such a good friend, but after meeting with him, she realized how loved her son was.

Harry was so kind and polite and obviously cared a lot about Louis. He assured her that he and his friends were always watching out for her son, that his presence in the flat is a blessing or else they would have all torn each other to pieces over a stupid argument about the remote control. Louis acts as mediator between them when they argue, he explained. He talked about how Louis is always making sure the place is clean or that they themselves are, and in return, they keep him safe and loved. He realized that ‘loved’ wasn’t the best word to use, seeing Louis’ mother’s expression, so he quickly explained that Louis is still unmated, that all of them are, and Louis just hides out in his room during his heats or they all go out until it’s over. Jay had visibly relaxed at that, comforted by the fact that these boys were taking such great care of her son.

***

“Louis, dear, I can’t understand you.” She had been in the middle of getting his younger siblings out of bed when he called late one morning. He sounded like he had been crying.

" _Sorry, Mum_ ,"   he sniffled. " _I'm just scared_."

“What is it that’s bothering you?” she asked, frowning.

“ _I got my letter_.”   Her heart sank at how broken he sounded. She knew what was going through his mind. His friends were the only alphas he was really comfortable around, and now he will be forced to bond with a complete stranger. She heard him sigh audibly. “ _But Liam got Niall to pull a few strings and they’re able to be with me. We’re moving into a larger complex on the edge of the city later today. Oh, and Zayn isn’t actually an alpha; apparently he’s just an ‘overly aggressive beta’ as his letter put it. He and Liam were matched_.”

“That’s wonderful!” she exclaimed, happy for his friends. “It won’t be that bad, then, will it?”

“ _No, I guess no_ t,”   he said with a sigh.

“They’ll keep you safe, darling,” she murmured into the silence, knowing how worried he must have been.

“ _I know_ ,”   he said. “ _I’ll call you if there’s any news. Love you_.”

“All right, sweetheart. I love you, too,” she said and the call ended with a _click_.

***

She had been watering her indoor plants when he rang again four weeks later, his voice sounding wrecked.

" _Mum, I-I'm. I hate him, Mum_ ,"   Louis cried.

"Shhh, slow down, darling," she cooed. "What is it? What's happened?"

" _He's absolutely awful_ ,"   he whispered. " _The minute we walked into the complex for the first time, he shoved me into his room and—_ " He made a choking sort of sound before muttering, " _Harry saved me from him. He's so protective of me and I love him for that, but...._ " He trailed off and Jay didn't want to force it out of him, so she just waited patiently, listening to the sound of his breathing on the other end. " _I'm pregnant, Mum. I don't want it_."

"Louis, love," she said levelly. She had always suspected this would happen; Louis had always been a bit of a romantic, so he'd concocted his own ideas on how the universe worked and she had to very gently break it to him that people don't fall in love anymore. People get matched and pup happen. That's how their world worked. "That's not how it works."

" _I can't have this pup if he's the father_ ,"   Louis retorted. " _He's a monster, Mum_."

Jay sighed. Louis' exposure to alphas was very limited, and he was both lucky and unlucky that his friends had treated him the way they did. "Not all alphas are like your friends, love," she whispered. "I'm sorry, but the way your alpha acts is how many of them do. I'm sorry that you had this happen to you, but—"

" _I can't believe you're defending him_ ,"   Louis hissed. " _I can't believe you're defending this whole orchestrated bullshit_."

"Louis," she sighed, bracing against the kitchen counter. "I wouldn't have you if it weren't for the matching, pet."

He sighed on the other end of the line. " _You promised me you wouldn't let this happen to me again_ ," he whispered. " _Remember?_ "

"I know I did, love," she whispered back. "And I'm so, so sorry for telling you that. I wish I could protect you now, but no one can interfere with the matching. I would if I could, you know that, right?"

" _I know._ "   His voice hitched. It was filled with cracks the next time he spoke. " _Mum, I... I don't think I can do this_."

"You can, darling," she assured him. "You're not the only one in this position, love."

" _I know_ ,"   he whined, " _but I'm scared_."

"I know you are, love," she soothed, wishing she could hold him and pet his hair like he'd always liked. "You can do it, dear. Call me if there's any news."

" _Okay_ ,"   he replied shakily. " _I love you_."

"I love you, too, darling."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!!!!!  
> i know this isn't much of an update but it's something right?????


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!!!! an update omg !!!!!!!  
>  i've been super busy lately. i hate it.  
> so here's an update for you!!! :)
> 
> special thanks to [xforestsong](http://archiveofourown.org/users/xforestsong/) for being a super beta for me and putting up with my nonsense!! she's great :D

Louis sighs as he examines himself in the mirror. Although his skin is the clearest it's ever been, his cheeks have filled out slightly, and the rest of his body seems to be doing the same thing. He suspects that further in his pregnancy, his hips widen along with his thighs, much to his dismay. He puts himself at nine weeks now, and everyone else seems to be picking up on the scent, despite the scent neutralizers Dr. Bai prescribed. He huffs in annoyance and tugs on one of Harry’s shirts because he's starting to feel stressed and Harry's scent is comforting. He emerges from the bathroom to find Harry on the bed, the light from his laptop illuminating his features. He shuts the lid, pushing it aside, and spreads his arms as Louis crawls into the sheets with him, snuggling into his chest.

They’re both quiet for a moment, Louis huddling further into Harry's warmth. "We should tell them about the pup," he decides. "They're starting to notice the scent. We're not going to be able to keep it from them much longer."

Harry shifts uneasily. "Louis, we have another problem," he breathes. "I got my letter."

Louis' heart sinks. He and Harry were finally _happy_ after so long and now everything they've worked toward will be disrupted by an outsider. "What are we gonna do, Harry?" he whispers and Harry runs a hand through his hair soothingly.

"We have to leave," Harry whispers, sighing softly. "We can't stay here anymore."

"Where would we go?" Louis asks, looking up at him and feeling terribly small.

"Niall told me that his brother is the leader of a rebel group just outside the city," Harry murmurs. "He said that they're always taking in refugees and that they'll probably help us."

"Probably?" Louis asks. "That doesn't sound very reassuring."

"It's the best we've got, Louis," Harry tells him. "I think we should tell everyone tonight and leave tomorrow morning."

Louis sighs, holding his aching head. "I need to call my mum," he mumbles and disentangles himself from Harry. "I want to spend a few days with her before we leave the city. I think it's best to, um, say goodbye."

Harry nods and leans over to press a kiss to his temple. “You can use my phone. It’s on the nightstand.” He rolls out of their bed and heads to the closet, pulling out a few duffel bags. Louis collects himself before dialing his mother as Harry begins packing up their things.

 _“Harry?”_ she asks, the frown evident in her voice. _“Is there something wrong with Louis again?”_

“No, Mum, it’s me, Louis,” Louis clarifies, smiling a little at her mothering.

 _"Hello, love,"_ she chirps. _“It’s so nice to hear from you again. You should replace that phone of yours so you can talk to me more often!”_

"I’m working on it. Listen, Mum, there's something I need to tell you," Louis whispers into the phone. He can almost hear her brow furrowing.

 _"What is it, sweetheart?"_ she asks.

Louis squirms. "It's best said in person," he says. Niall had warned him that all phone calls are recorded and listened to, and he had long since decided that he'll be taking as many precautions as he can. "Can I spend a few days at yours?"

 _"Of course you can, darling,"_ she gushes. _"I'll tidy up your old room. When will you be coming over?"_

Louis bites his lip as his gaze lands on Harry, who's busy packing their clothes. "Erm, tomorrow. Is that okay?"

 _"That's fine, love,"_ she assures him. _"I can't wait to see you! The girls and Ernest will be so happy to see you, too. They get sad when you don’t visit.”_

Louis smiles weakly. “I know,” he says. “Wish we could visit more often.”

_“It would be absolutely fantastic, but I know you’re busy there in the heart of the city.”_

Louis hums into the phone. "I'll see you tomorrow, Mum. Love you.”

 _"I love you, too, sweetheart. See you soon,"_ she says and the call ends. Louis stares down at the screen, a small smile on his lips. His mother is such a mum that it almost hurts sometimes. He sighs, setting Harry’s phone on the nightstand and sinks onto the edge of the mattress.

“Lou?” Harry asks. “You okay?”

“It’s going to be so hard to say goodbye,” Louis whispers, flicking his eyes up to meet Harry's. “What about your family?”

“Louis, you know very well that I haven’t spoken with my family in years,” Harry says tiredly. “I’m not even sure where they’re living now.” Harry doesn't even know if they're alive; there were bombings on the outer rim of the city when he was younger, where he and his parents and sister lived. They got separated during the evacuation. Harry was fourteen, and placed in a home until he came of age. He hasn't heard from anyone. He joins Louis on the bed, running his fingers up and down Louis' spine and pressing small kisses to the top of his head. "Let's just lie down for a while, yeah?" he suggests, and Louis nods, allowing Harry to pull him into bed.

"Harry," he mumbles after a while.

Harry hums in response, tucking Louis closer to him.

“We have to leave before Nick gets back from Beijing,” Louis whispers.

“We will,” Harry promises him.

  
After a stressful dinner with Harry constantly squeezing Louis' hand under the table, Louis catches Harry's eye and nods ever so slightly. Harry calls for everyone's attention, saying that he's got an announcement, and herds them all into the living room.

"I got my letter," he says and Liam claps him on the back, his eyes crinkling with his smile.

Zayn offers him a smile and Louis feels suddenly guilty; he and Harry won't be around to meet Zayn and Liam's little boy, who's due to arrive in about a month. Niall keeps his face straight, blinking at Harry unsurprised. Amy nudges him for being so rude, so Niall breaks his professional demeanor and gives Harry a small smile.

Harry takes a deep breath before continuing. "I'm not staying here," he murmurs.

Liam frowns at this, his brow furrowed. "Harry," he starts.

"Louis's coming with me," Harry mutters. "We're leaving tomorrow morning."

"What? Why?" Liam asks, thoroughly confused. He looks around, but everyone seems just as confused as him, except Niall, that is. "Niall," he says, narrowing his eyes at him. "Do you know what this is about?"

"Yes," Niall mumbles, getting to his feet. "Harry and Louis are leaving because I asked them to. They broke the law and I'm taking care of it."  
"The law?" Zayn asks, his eyes wide as he looks from Niall to Harry and Louis.

"Yeah," Niall says, glancing back at Harry. "Louis broke his bond with Nick, so now he and Harry are mates. They're leaving so that none of us get in trouble." He claps Harry on the shoulder, giving it a tight squeeze. "Thanks, buddy." Harry squeezes his shoulder back, affirming that they'll all be okay.

"What's brought this on?" asks Zayn. "You don't have to leave."

Louis looks to Harry, who gives him a slight nod. "We do," Louis says softly, placing both hands on his stomach. "I'm pregnant, and we need to keep our pup safe."

The room is silent for a moment, and Louis is nervous until Harry protectively pulls him by the waist and growls lowly.

"Congratulations," Amy whispers finally and Louis is relieved.

"Where are you two going?" Liam asks, his mouth pulled into a line of worried concern.

Louis knows Liam doesn't condone this, and that he is probably disappointed in Louis for what he's done, but even Liam's disappointment won't stop him from worrying about his friends. As his throat tightens, Louis realizes that he really shouldn't take his friends for granted.

"It's probably best if we don't tell you," he murmurs, knotting his fingers together. "We don't want any of you getting hurt."

"What about the two of you?" Liam asks with a frown.

"They'll be safe where they're going," Niall assures him, re-adopting his professional demeanor.

"We're gonna miss you all," Louis whispers, feeling the tears prickle at the backs of his eyes.

"Come here, Louis," Zayn says, patting the space beside him. Louis shuffles over and takes a seat, Zayn pulling him in for a hug as soon as he hits the cushion. "I was gonna make you a godfather," he mumbles and Louis nearly chokes, letting the tears fall. He holds onto Zayn as tightly and for as long as he can, wondering how on earth he's going to survive without his friends.

"You're going to be okay about this?" Zayn whispers in his ear.

Louis doesn't know if Zayn is referring to leaving, the bounty most likely on on their heads, the pup, or the situation overall, so he answers with, "I think so."

They pull apart and Zayn reaches out to lightly cup his jaw. "You'll keep in touch, though, won't you?" he asks softly, thumbing away Louis' tears.

"We'll try," Louis whispers. "I can't make any promises, though."

"Either way, I wish you the best of luck," Zayn says softly, patting his cheek.

"Thank you," Louis whispers.

Louis jumps slightly as Liam's hand settles on his shoulder. "We'll all miss you and Harry, Louis," he mumbles, his fingers squeezing into Louis' shoulder. He pulls Louis into a tight hug, murmuring how he has to get Zayn to bed. He lets him go and helps Zayn to his feet, leading him down the hall. Amy presses a kiss to his cheek before scurrying off down the hall to her and Niall's room. Louis touches his cheek where she kissed him, surprised, because he didn't know she even liked him all that much.

"You two had better head off to bed," Niall says tiredly. "You've got an early morning ahead of you."

Harry pulls him into a hug that Louis half expects Niall will not return, but he does. "Thank you for everything you've done for us," Harry murmurs and Niall just sighs as Harry releases him. He reaches out for Louis, but Louis just snares him in a hug, making Niall huff indignantly, but he relaxes into the hug anyway.

"Thank you," Louis murmurs and Niall squeezes him just a bit tighter.

"You guys are my family," he whispers. "I'd do anything for you. Head off to bed now. You've got a long day tomorrow. Be safe, guys."

He releases Louis, and Harry reaches out, tugging Louis into his side as Niall gives them one last nod before heading off down the hall after Amy.  
"It's just you and me now, love," Harry murmurs as Louis nuzzles his face into his chest. "Let's go to bed, yeah?" he asks and leads them down the hall into his bedroom.

  
"Louis, come on, love," Harry rouses him, gently shaking his shoulder. Louis just groans, huddling further into the sheets. "We have to get going," Harry presses. Having expected this from Louis, he woke him up earlier than they had planned. Not only is Louis a late sleeper, but fatigue is now heavily upon him at this point in his pregnancy.

"Five more minutes," Louis mumbles.

"Sorry, love," Harry whispers and scoops Louis into his arms, taking him away from the warm comfort of the bed.

Louis whimpers at the loss of warmth. "Put me down," he whines and Harry just hefts him further into his arms.

"We have to leave soon," Harry murmurs, "or they'll take away our memories. You don't want that, do you?"

Louis just groans, throwing an arm over his stomach as if that will offer himself any more protection. "No," he mumbles, snuggling into Harry's chest.

Harry walks into the bathroom, setting Louis on his feet. "Take a quick shower and get dressed. I'll make you some breakfast and pack the car." He presses a quick kiss to Louis' lips before shutting the door behind him.

Louis slowly rids himself of his clothes. His movements are sluggish as his body is still not fully awake yet. He steps into the shower, letting the warm water ease him into consciousness.

As he shampoos, he thinks about how drastically his life has changed in just eight short months. His friends' lives have changed for the better, but his just seems to be on a course of destruction. He sighs, running his fingers over the soft swell of his tummy and prays that things will start turning around for him for the sake of his and Harry's pup.

Harry has breakfast ready for him when he enters the kitchen. Louis's just barely sat down when the door opens. Nick walks in, looking completely drained. Louis feels his throat tighten in fear as Nick dazedly furrows his brow at the two of them.

"What are you two doing up?" Nick asks. "It's five o'clock in the morning."

"You're home early," Louis states rather dumbly. "I thought you would be home at seven."

"Our last meeting was cut short, so I took an earlier flight," Nick explains with a yawn, "but that didn't answer my question," he says, narrowing his eyes at Harry.

"I got hungry," Louis says. "Harry was kind enough to make me some breakfast."

Nick wrinkles his nose at the smell of it. Harry had catered to one of Louis' more recent cravings: pancakes with olives.

"It smells like shit," Nick remarks bitterly. Harry rolls his eyes and tucks into his own (plain) pancakes. Nick sighs and lumbers over to drop a kiss to the top of Louis' head. Louis nearly drops his fork in surprise and Harry growls lowly as Nick stumbles off down the hallway.

He starts to get to his feet, but Louis stops him. "Harry, don't," he pleads. "Let's just finish eating and get out of here."

"Fine," Harry grumbles, settling back down into his seat. "The next time he touches you, though, even if it's like that, I'm snapping his neck."

"Harry, please," Louis presses. "We won't have to worry about that anymore."

 

Louis' mum lives on the complete opposite side of the city. The trip usually takes roughly two hours, considering the heavy traffic and rough roads, but Louis needs to stop and pee about nine times, so it takes nearly three hours. The car is parked just outside the house, idling in the street.

"I don't think I can do this," Louis whispers.

"Shhh, love, of course you can," Harry assures him, leaning over to press a kiss to his temple.

"This is going to kill her, Harry," Louis whimpers.

"Louis, your mum is an understanding woman. I'm sure that after we explain everything, she'll understand," Harry tells him.

Louis draws a shaky breath. "You think so?" he asks. Harry nods, grabbing his hand to press kisses along the knuckles. After a moment of silence, Louis pipes up again. "I think I'm ready."

Harry nods and shuts off the engine as Louis slips out his own side. Harry grabs their bags and shoulders one of them so he has a free hand to clutch Louis' as they make their way to the door. Louis knocks on the door, and they wait with bated breaths. The door swings open a few moments later, Jay's smile beaming like a beacon on the other side. "Louis!" she coos and pulls him in for a tight hug. "It's so nice to see you again, darling, and Harry, too," she adds, flashing Harry a smile.

"Good to see you, too, mum," Louis tells her honestly, savoring the way her hug feels. He feels colder when she pulls away to invite them inside.  
"Come on in, you two," she beckons, moving out of the doorway. "I just started the tea, so make yourselves comfortable."

Within minutes, Harry and Louis are sat on the loveseat and Jay is bringing in a tray of tea, a mug for each of them. "The kids aren't up yet," she says lowly, her voice soft. "They're excited to see you, darling. They haven't seen much of you since Christmas,” she says, being mindful enough to not mention the last time Louis visited her. He doesn’t like thinking about it, and maybe she doesn’t either. “It breaks their little hearts, you know, to not be around you."

"I know," Louis mumbles. He takes a prolonged sip of tea before breaking the news to his mum.

"Is it Nick again?" she asks suddenly, fearfully peering at him over her mug of tea.  "Is that why you've come back?"

Louis shakes his head. "No, mum," he says, slowly sliding his gaze to meet Harry’s. "Actually, he's not going to be a problem ever again." She furrows her brows, but says nothing as she waits for Louis to continue. Louis takes a deep, steadying breath, Harry squeezing his hand, before saying, "Nick is no longer my alpha; Harry is. We mated a little over two months ago." Louis side-eyes Harry, smiling happily. "We're also having a pup," he adds quietly.

"Louis," Jay murmurs, obviously worried about his safety. “Bond breaking is illegal. What if the authorities find you? I mean, you’re free to stay here, but….” She trails off, shaking her head.

"There's a place where we'll all be safe," Harry offers. "Louis just wanted to say goodbye since it's outside the city."

"Louis, darling, you've never been outside the city before," Jay says, concern flashing in her eyes. "You don't know what's out there."

"Mum, I'm capable of taking care of myself," Louis mutters. "And besides, I have Harry to protect me."

"I won't let any harm come to Louis—or our pup," Harry assures her when she looks unconvinced.

"This is so dangerous," she says.

"We're trying to keep our friends and family safe," Harry murmurs. "We can't do that if we're still in the city."

Jay sighs, slowly shaking her head. "Louis, I can't believe how irresponsible you've been."

"Mum, I'm sorry," Louis whispers, his heart clenching in his chest. His sole purpose has always been to please those around him and upsetting his mother is number one on his list of _Things to Not Do_.

"I'm not upset, darling," she says as if she could read his thoughts (Louis wouldn't doubt it, if he's completely honest), running her hand through his hair. "I'm just going to miss you."

"I'm going to miss you, too, Mum," he whispers as she pulls him closer, pressing kisses to the top of his head. All of a sudden, there's a thunderous pounding of feet from upstairs.

"Kids are up," Jay says, giving Louis a smile. "They've been so excited to see you." His name, squealed at pitches high enough to shatter glass, sounds over several pairs of feet thundering down the staircase. Soon enough, Louis is enveloped in numerous hugs and covered in tiny bodies, namely Doris and Ernest. Daisy and Phoebe each hug him from over the back of the sofa, but keep a respectful distance.

"Louis, you've been gone so long!" squeals Doris as she throws her arms around her brother's knee. Ernest has clung to his side like a hyperactive koala.

"Look at you, kiddo!" Louis exclaims, ruffling her hair. "I swear you've grown three inches since the last time I saw you."

The five year old beams up at him, showing off a missing tooth. "Mummy marks it on the wall every time I grow," she says proudly. Her smile quickly fades, breaking Louis' heart, and she looks up at him with fear-filled eyes. "Do you love us anymore?"

"Of course I still love you," Louis says, pulling her into his lap and pushing her thin hair behind her ear. Her brother, seemingly annoyed with Louis' lack of attention toward him, simply crawls over to Harry’s lap and plants himself there. "Why would you think that I don't love you?"

"Mummy said you got a new family to love and that's why you don't come see us anymore," she says, looking up at him with wide, curious eyes.

"That doesn't mean I don't love you guys," Louis assures her, his gaze sliding to meet his mother's. "Listen, it doesn't matter if you don't see me often. I will always love you no matter where I am or who I'm with."

"Then we'll see you a lot more?" Doris asks hopefully and Louis doesn't have it in him to break her little heart.

"I'm afraid not, love," Jay tells her and her face falls.

"Why not?" she asks, her lower lip quivering and Louis knows that she won't possibly comprehend the situation they've gotten themselves into.  
"Harry and I are going on a very long trip," he tells her, choosing his words carefully, "and I don't know when we'll be getting back... but we'll try to keep in touch with Mummy and you all as best we can."

She furrows her little brow, chewing on her cheek. "Okay," she says slowly, looking up at him skeptically, but she must be satisfied because she slides off his lap to chase after her brother, who has scrambled off of Harry’s lap. The older twins eye him warily before hurrying off after their younger siblings to supervise.

Louis is disappointed; he'd figured that his family would be more excited to see him but he puts it on Fizzy having left since the last time he was home before he got his letter and the place seems a little more empty than it does full.

"I won't even be able to say goodbye to them," Louis murmurs, knotting his fingers together. Harry rubs his thigh as Jay flashes him a look of sympathy. The older two of all his younger siblings have already left the nest, starting their own lives out in the world. He remembers when they were both so young, just beginning to grasp the concept of the world outside the place they called home. After all, they were the only two who he really got to watch grow up before he moved out and it feels wrong to not be able to say goodbye to them.

"Why don't you go lie down, Louis?" Jay suggests after a moment. "You seem a bit knackered." Harry pats his thigh in agreeance. Louis sighs, but complies and tugs Harry up with him. He and Harry collapse into his old bed, tangled In each other's arms.

Louis wakes up after a few hours only to hurry to the bathroom to throw up. After thoroughly brushing his teeth, he wanders downstairs. He finds his mother In the den with a number of dusty boxes. "Mum?" Louis asks. "What're you doing?"

"Hello, pet," she greets him with a smile. "Did you have a nice kip?"

"It was fine," he says. "What's going on here?" he asks, nodding to all the boxes.

"I wanted to give you a pup thing of yours," she says as she digs through the box nearest to her. "But I can't seem to—ah, here it is!" She pulls out a pale blue knit blanket and carefully inspects it for holes and tears. "This was your blanket when you were little." She presses it into his hands. "I want you to have it for your pup."

"You really didn't have to," Louis tells her, a bit flustered at the gesture.

"Please, Louis," she chuckles. "There'll be no more pups in this house. Only grandchildren from now on."

Louis laughs a little nervously; his mum said that before Ernest and Doris came along. "Thank you, Mum," he says softly, studying the blanket's material.

"You're welcome, sweetheart," she tells him, beaming at him. She's quiet for for a moment, her face becoming serious. "How’re you taking it?" she asks softly.

Louis sighs and presses a hand to his stomach. "I'm happy to have Harry's pup," he tells her. "I'm just worried that we'll be found out, and I'll end up losing it and Harry."

Jay gives him a sympathetic look. "I know it's difficult for you, pet," she tells him, running a hand through his hair, "but you and Harry are in this together. Don't think that you need to do this on your own."

"I know," Louis mutters. "I just feel entirely responsible for the pup because it's inside of me and it's up to me alone to keep it alive and well."

“You’re not on your own in this, Louis,” she tells him, cupping his face in her hands. “Not like last time, darling.” Louis looks down, avoiding her eyes. Nick was an unsupportive alpha throughout their entire mateship, even leaving Louis to fend for himself while in the very early and unpredictable stages of his pregnancy. “Harry’s a good alpha. He’ll help you as best he can, you know that.”

“Yeah,” Louis breathes. Harry has been the perfect mate since they met as just friends. He’s eternally grateful for Harry.

Jay presses a kiss to his forehead and lets her hands fall from his face. “Are you going back up for another lie down?” she asks.

“Nah,” Louis answers, shaking his head. “Won’t be able to sleep later if I go lie down again.”

“Would you like to help me in the kitchen then?” she asks and turns to head into the kitchen. “I need someone to skin the potatoes for me.”

“I can help you,” he complies and follows her through the hall.

“Wonderful!” She quickly gets to work preparing the stove and oven and directs him where to potatoes to be peeled are. Louis situates himself at the sink and peels a dozen potatoes as she flits around the kitchen stirring and mixing the contents of various pots and pans littered about the room. Once he had finished peeling all of them, Jay has him place them in a large pot and let them steam. After they’ve steamed, she has him mash them.

Louis transfers his frustration, fear, and anger into squashing the potatoes, pretending each one is Nick's stupid face and all other alphas like him. Omegas don't deserve to be treated like property and most alphas don't deserve an omega anyway. He wishes that the matching never happened. Maybe then he and Harry would've been mates to begin with and Louis could skip the horror of Nick and just be fucking happy.

“I think I can manage the rest,” she says when he's mashed them thoroughly, much to his dismay; he still had some feelings to mash out. “Why don’t you set the table and go upstairs to wake Harry?”

Louis does as he's told, setting the table perfectly before he heads upstairs to wake his mate. When he pushes open the door, the blankets of the bed are tangled in a large lump in the middle of the mattress. Harry has torn them up in distress from being away from his mate. Louis tiptoes over to the bed and runs a hand through Harry’s hair, speaking to him softly. “Harry, love, it’s time to get up.”

Harry moans softly and pokes his face out of the mass of sheets. His skin is pale, and his eyes the greenest green Louis has ever seen them. “Lou,” Harry croaks. “When did you get out of bed?”

“I’ve been up for a while, love,” Louis tells him. “I got sick an hour or so ago—”

“You got sick?” Harry asks, throwing the sheets off his body and sitting up. “Why didn’t you wake me? I want to help you through this stuff.”

Louis just runs a hand through Harry’s disheveled mop. “It’s fine, Harry,” he tells him. “It wasn’t too bad this time around.”

Harry juts out his lower lip in protest. “I want to be there for you,” he says. “You’ve got to tell me when stuff happens. Let me take care of you.”

Louis gives him a small smile. “Put your pants on, love. Dinner is ready.” Louis presses a kiss to his forehead before slipping out of the room. As he reaches the bottom stair, Daisy and Phoebe walk in the door.

“Louis!” they squeal in unison and tackle him in a hug, obviously much more excited in the afternoons than right away in the mornings when they first saw him.

“Hello, lovelies,” Louis greets, touselling the hair on their heads. “How was school?”

“Boring,” Phoebe says the exact same time as Daisy says “Great!” The twins look to each other, giving the other an identical scowl. They open their mouths to argue, but Louis stops them before they can begin.

“Mum and I made dinner, so if you two go wash up and check to see if Doris and Ernest are ready, it should be ready by the time you’re back down here,” he tells them as shouting erupts from the bathroom upstairs. Again, the twins glance at each other, this time a look of shared agony, before climbing the stairs two at a time to check on their younger siblings. Louis smiles to himself and turns down the hall to see if his mother needs any more help when Harry nearly runs into him, his hair looking less like a bird’s nest.

“Oops, sorry, love. It smells good,” Harry mentions and pecks Louis’ cheek.

“It _is_ my mother’s cooking,” Louis tells him.

“Mhm,” Harry hums, taking Louis by the hips. “And I bet you helped.” He leans down to press a quick kiss to Louis’ lips. “Such a good omega,” he breathes against Louis’ skin. “Taking care of your family.”

“Harry,” Louis whines and fights a blush, pushing him away as he nuzzles against his neck. “Stop scenting me. I think my family knows that I’m yours.” Harry nips at his shoulder, causing Louis to smack him in the chest. “Knock it off. I am not in the mood for this,” he hisses, glaring up at Harry. “I’d actually like to spend the last few days I have with my family and not with you all sexed up.”

Harry resembles a kicked puppy. “Sorry,” he apologizes softly, his pupils returning to their normal size. “You smell really, really good.”

Louis rolls his eyes and pushes past him. “Come on,” he says, “they’re probably waiting for us, you slowpoke.”

Louis is right. When Harry stumbles in after Louis, the whole family is seated and patiently waiting. Louis is taking his seat next to Jay when Harry spots the open seat next to Louis’. The rest of the family digs into the food set in the middle of the table as Harry takes his place next to Louis, who waits patiently while the rest of his family dishes up.

“Lou, you should get something while it’s there,” Harry tells him, knowing from many Christmases spent with Louis’ family that the food disappears as quickly as it’s set out.

“I will,” Louis mutters.

Harry purses his lips and grabs a plate to dish up. He makes certain to add lots of vegetables to the plate and keep the meat rather light. “Here,” he says, sliding it in front of Louis. “Eat up.”

“What about you?” Louis asks, surveying the middle of the table, where most of the food is already gone, thanks to Doris smearing her food on Ernest, who retaliates by returning the gesture.

Harry waves him off. “Don’t you worry about me. You need to eat, for the pup.” Harry mouths the last part; only Jay knows that they have a pup on the way, and they’d rather keep it that way. It’s better that only the people they can trust to keep quiet know; the children spit out so much information already that it would not be wise to tell them.

Dinner is over fairly quickly, and the family spends time in the den, where the boxes have been cleared. Jay reads to Doris and Ernest, both of whom snuggle up against Louis and Harry. They fall asleep easily, and Jay has Harry and Louis take them upstairs to bed when Phoebe and Daisy head upstairs for bed.

“I want to talk with you when you come back down,” Jay tells Louis. Louis nods, feeling a sense of dread settle in his chest. Harry gives him a nod, unable to squeeze his hand or shoulder like normal since he has a sleeping five-year-old in his arms. Louis lets out a small sigh and leads the way upstairs to Doris and Ernest’s room.

The twins share Lottie’s old room, each having their own twin-sized bed pushed to opposite sides of the room, paper signs with crudely scribbled names determining which bed belongs to who. Louis carefully lays Ernest down in his own bed, making certain to tuck the blankets closer to his tiny body after he’s pulled the sheets up. When he turns around, Harry is doing the same with Doris’ sheets and he even bends down to kiss her forehead. Louis smiles at him fondly and when Harry turns around to face him, he’s wearing the same fond smile.

“Let’s go see what your mum has to say to us,” he says while reaching for Louis’ hand. Louis nods and they make their way out of the room, quietly closing the door behind them.

Jay is stood in front of the window, her expression in the reflection stormy, when they set foot in the den again. “Take a seat, boys,” she says, gesturing to the sofa. Harry and Louis exchange a worried look before sitting down.

“I know I said that you could stay here for a few days, but I don’t know if I can keep that promise,” she says with a sigh.

“Mum—” Louis starts, but she holds up a hand.

“There are cameras everywhere, sweetheart,” she says. “The authorities most likely already know where you are. I have four kids to keep safe, love.”

“What about me?” Louis asks. “I’m your kid, too!”

Jay bites her lip. “I know, love. What’s about to happen is going to keep you safe as well, all right?”

“What’s happening?” Harry asks.

“I’m afraid that you two will be leaving tonight,” Jay says.

“I’m not ready,” Louis tells her. “I wanted to say a proper goodbye.”

“We’ve run out of time, love,” Jay tells him sadly. “I want you here for as long as possible, but if we want to keep us all safe, you and Harry will need to leave tonight.”

Louis starts to protest, but Harry presses a kiss to his temple. “We’ll be okay, love,” he whispers. “I think we should listen to your mum. It’s our best bet to keep everyone safe.”

Louis sighs, but nods his head in agreement. Harry presses another quick kiss to the side of his head before getting to his feet. “I’m gonna go get our stuff together, all right?”

“Okay,” Louis whispers back. Harry scurries out of the room and takes the stairs two at a time. Jay walks over to the sofa and helps Louis to his feet.

“You’ll be in good hands where you’re going, love,” she tells him softly, thumbing under his eyes where a few tears have gathered. “No need for tears.”

“I’m just… unprepared,” Louis admits. “For everything.”

She presses a kiss to his forehead. “It’ll all work out, love,” she assures him. Louis lets out a sigh and leans into his mother’s shoulder and stays there for a while, just listening to her heartbeat and wondering if he’ll ever see her again after tonight.

They’ve stood like that for a good seven minutes when Harry comes back into the den with his and Louis’ bags in hand. Louis pulls his face from Jay’s shoulder and retreats to Harry’s side. As comforting as his mother is, his alpha is three times that.

Jay glances at the clock. “Okay, boys, it’s time to go,” she says. “Follow me.” She leads them toward the back of the house and down a narrow flight of steep stairs. Harry keeps Louis steady as they make their way down. “This house was built over an old subway tunnel,” Jay elaborates. “It’s been in our family for generations. Our family has been helping people in situations like yours get out of the city safely for decades.”

“What?” Louis asks in awe, wondering how he’s never known this part of the house or their family history.

“We haven’t been used since you were about two years old,” she says, and that quells most of Louis’ curiosity as to why he’s never known this information. Jay opens the door to the basement, flicking on the single light. She walks over to an ancient-looking bookshelf and pushes it to the side, revealing a slightly raised portion of concrete. She waves Harry over and together, the two of them lift it enough to push it onto the level concrete. In its place is a hole in the floor. Jay dusts off her hands as she speaks, “Your ticket out of the city is right through here.”

Louis gapes at her. “What is that, a thirty foot drop?!” he asks.

“Louis, there’s a ladder,” Harry mentions, peering into the hole. “I’ll go down first. You throw the bags down and then come down yourself. I’ll be down there ready to catch you if you slip up, okay?” Harry walks back over to him and kisses his lips before beginning his descent.

Jay grips his shoulders. “Remember: I love you,” she tells him and kisses his forehead. “Have you got everything?” Louis nods. “Have that blanket?”

“Yes,” Louis tells her, smiling sadly. “Thank you for everything.”

“You’re welcome, love,” she tells him with a sad smile. “Just promise me that you’ll stay safe, all right? Don’t come back into the city, don’t even try.”

“Will I ever see you again?” Louis asks, his voice small.

“Somehow,” she tells him.

“Louis,” Harry’s voice calls from below.

“Coming,” Louis calls back and bends down to grab their bags. Jay takes one for him and walks over with him.

“I love you,” she reminds him as they push the bags over the edge. They land with dull thuds a few seconds later.

“I love you, too, Mum,” Louis tells her and sets his foot on the first rung of the ladder. He slowly climbs down the rickety ladder, letting Harry gently coach him from below. When his feet touch the ground, Harry is right beside him brandishing the flashlight on his phone. He leans into Harry as they both look up. There’s a square of light high above their heads.

“Good luck!” Jay calls and the square of light slowly decreases in size as she pushes the block of cement back into place.

Louis takes the time to look around now that they’re all alone. They’re stood on a short platform that ends abruptly. There’s a trench right beside it, the tracks missing. The tunnel to the right of them has collapsed, so their only choice is to go to the left, where the tunnel goes on for as long as the eye can see.

Harry takes up his hand in his. “Ready?” he asks.

“No,” Louis says.

Harry gives him a sympathetic look and together they walk into the unknown.

  
They don't speak until the cement floor evolves into metal grates, and suddenly, fluorescent lights flicker on, burning their eyes from the heavy darkness they’ve experienced for a few hours.

“What the hell?” Harry asks, squinting around. His eyes have yet to adjust to the brightness of the lights.

"Oi!"

Harry tightens his hold on Louis, squinting at their surroundings for intruders.

"Are you armed?" asks a voice.

"No," Harry answers.

A figure, standing in front of a massive metal door, draws into focus. It's a man, bulging muscles visible, covered in sweat and patches of dirt. There's a thin scar stretching its way across his right cheek. His right eye is a pale, pale blue. Louis suspects that its discoloration is due to the scar reaching above his brow.

"Well that's mental. You're gonna need some sort of weapon if you want to ward off the oldies at food times."

"Excuse me?" Harry asks, ushering Louis behind him.

"Sorry. I'm always forgetting to introduce meself," he says, offering his hand. "'m Greg Horan. Welcome to your new reality.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay so it got a little hunger games-y with the camp being underground now but i have no regrets
> 
> thank you so much for reading!!!! i hope you like this version better :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry i'm so terrible at updates :C i just haven't found the motivation to write :C  
> so anyway, here's an update for you that is waaaayyyyyyyyyy over due.  
> thanks again to [xforestsong](http://archiveofourown.org/users/xforestsong) for all the beta work :D

“What?” Harry asks.

The man—Greg—steps forward. “You are Harry and Louis, right?” he asks, looking from one to the other with a slight frown. “Jay said you’d be comin’.”

“You know my mother?” Louis asks, stepping out from behind Harry, who grunts in protest.

Greg looks to him. “I owe that woman everything,” he says. “She saved my life. Now,” he says, glancing at his wrist where a panel is strapped to his forearm, “looks like you two need t’ get acquainted with our facility.”

Greg keys in what is most likely a code and the enormous metal doors creak and groan as they slide open. Greg waves for them to follow him into the hall. The ceiling is high with more florescent lights lining its length. There are large steel reinforcers welded to the walls, supporting the ceiling with tons of rock beyond that. Their footsteps echo on the metal grating of the floor, which turns into concrete as they get closer to another set of doors.

Greg punches in another code on a keypad next to the door and the lights flash and an alarm blares as the doors slide open with a whoosh of warm, stuffy air. Guards hurry to position along the linoleum covered floor and stand at attention as Greg leads the way, nodding to them as he passes each guard.

“We have several levels of security,” Greg mentions as they reach yet another set of doors, which he opens the same way as before. “This is home sweet home.”

Greg steps back and lets Harry and Louis move to the railing of the pathway they’ve stepped onto. Around them, people in uniforms march in lines on the spiraling path up the walls of the massive cylindrical ‘atrium.' It seems to go on forever both up and down. The entire place looks like a cyborg with wire patches showing in some of the metal walls and lights blinking nearly everywhere.

“What is this place?” Louis asks.

“This is a military base from the old days,” Greg says, thumping his palm against the wall in a fond manner. “All records of it were lost when the capitol building was destroyed in the war. The government has no knowledge of this place.” He smiles. “Obviously we’ve done some updating and expanding.”

“I’ll say,” Harry says, leaning over the railing to look down at the never-ending spiral of walkways.

Greg chuckles. “You haven’t even seen the mess hall,” he says. “Come on, we’ve still got a lot to see.” He leads them through another sliding door and a series of halls before coming to a stop at a glass doorway, behind which people in white labcoats and scrubs scurry around. “First of all, we’ve got t' get you two checked out,” Greg says.

“Why?” asks Harry.

“This place is a fishbowl: limited breathing,” Greg says. “If you two’ve got anything contagious, it’ll spread like wildfire through here. Our doctors have state of the art technology; you’ll be in the best hands possible.”

“How’d you get the best stuff if this place is underground?” Louis asks. “Wouldn’t the authorities catch on if companies are making deliveries to the center of the earth?”

Greg smirks. “Not everyone on the inside is dedicated t' the government,” he says. “My brother knows about this place, of course. Said you two were in a bit of pinch.” He glances over Louis’ body, causing Harry to pull his mate closer and emit a low growl. “Oi,” Greg says, gesturing surrender. “I’m not touchin’ ‘im. I got a mate and I’m not lookin’ for another. Ni said you’d need extra supervision, though, so I got you on that.”

Harry relaxes, looking relieved and sort of guilty. “Sorry,” he apologizes. “Kinda protective.”

“‘S natural,” Greg says with a shrug. “I’m goin’ t’ leave you two here for a bit while they check you out,” he says. “I’ll be back when they page me.” He taps the panel on his wrist. “See you two in a bit.” And with that, he salutes them and marches off in the direction they came.

“There’s a code to get in,” Louis notices, hugging himself. “How’re we supposed to—?”

The doors sliding open cut him off as a guy in green scrubs stands on the other side. “Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson?” he asks, glancing at his wrist panel. He glances up at them and smiles when they nod. “Come on in. You two are brand spanking new here, aren’t you?” he asks as they walk into the medical unit.

“Yeah,” Harry answers, keeping Louis close to him.

“You’ll love it here,” the nurse tells them and leads them into a glass room. He presses a key and the glass shimmers, blacking out the outer layer to provide privacy. “First we’ve got to administer the initial health test, and if you pass, you’ll continue your tour of the facility.”

“What happens if we don’t pass?” Louis asks timidly.

“We’ll keep you in our quarantine unit until we can treat the issue,” the nurse says. “Most people pass the initial examination,” he assures them. “Would you like to conduct the test together or separately?”

“Together,” they answer at the same time.

The nurse smiles. “Great. I’ll need a blood sample from each of you, so if you’ll just both have a seat, I’ll get my equipment ready.”

Harry and Louis both nod and take their seats on the plastic chairs against the back wall of the room. The nurse turns to them, needle in hand and instructs them both to stay completely still as he draws a sample from one of each of their elbows. He places the sample tubes on the counter, where they’re suctioned away.

“We’ll let those process while we check a few other things,” he says.

He takes their blood pressure, Louis’ being a little higher than it should be. He then listens to their heartbeats and takes their pulses. He's checking their ears when a bell sounds. "That'll be your blood work," he says as a sheet of paper prints off next to where the test tubes have reappeared. He quickly scans the sheet and turns to them, smiling. "Okay, it looks like everything checks out. I'll need to administer your trackers before you leave the medical unit."

"Trackers?" Louis asks.

"All members of this compound have tracking devices. It's simply for us to see where everyone is and monitor their health."

"That's a good idea," Harry says.

"It's better than having cameras all over the place," the nurse says as he preps their arms for their trackers. "There's more privacy down here."

"No cameras?" Louis asks.

"Well, not in the individual housing units," the nurse says. He injects the trackers in their forearms, each of them wincing at the pinch of the big needle. The nurse finishes up their injections with gauze and medical tape. "Do not remove the gauze for four hours," he tells them and then turns to Louis. "Louis, your blood work came back positive for pregnancy. Were you aware?"

Louis nods.

"Good," the nurse says, smiling. "Now, this tracker will only track your health, so you'll still need check-ups through us during your pregnancy."

"Okay," Louis says as Harry’s fingers intertwine with his.

“You two are good to go.” The nurse smiles at them. “I’ve paged Greg already, so he’ll be waiting for you outside the medical unit.”

“Thank you,” Harry says, getting to his feet and helping Louis to his own.

"You're welcome," the nurse says. "I'm sure that you two will fit in here just fine."

"Thanks," Louis murmurs and he and Harry walk out the door. They can see Greg waiting for them through the glass doors of the medical unit.

Greg smiles when he sees them. "Ready for the rest of the tour?" he asks.

Louis yawns widely. Harry purses his lips and wraps an arm around Louis' waist, Louis immediately cuddling into his side.

"Actually, can we visit the living quarters? Louis here is in need of a lie down," Harry says.

"Sure we can," says Greg.

They walk down the hall for a short while before reaching an elevator. He ushers them in and punches a few of the buttons, and the elevator takes them down a number of floors at a slightly nauseating speed. The glass doors slide open almost as soon as the elevator comes to a stop, and they’re stood staring down a hallway of hundreds of bulky metal doors.

“Yeah, they don’t look the homeiest,” says Greg, “but they‘re better than sleepin’ on the floor.” He leads them out of the elevator and down a number of doors, coming to a stop about halfway down the hallway. Greg taps in a code on the panel in the middle of the metal door before turning to Harry to relay the code, but informs him that they can change their access code once they get settled in.

“Thank you, Greg,” Harry says, reaching to shake his hand, which Greg takes, "for everything.”

“Eh, it’s part of the package deal,” Greg says, flashing them a grin. “Don’t stay holed up in there too long, though. Breakfast’s at six o’clock sharp.”

“We’ll be there,” Harry assures him as the door in front of them opens with a hiss and a rush of air.

The room resembles a pod more than anything, its shape oval and its walls and floor metal. There is a set of two bunk beds jutting out from the wall in one corner. Another larger bed sits across the short distance from the bunks. There's also another smaller door straight across from the main entrance, which Louis crosses his fingers to be a private bathroom.

“If you can’t find your way, just follow everyone else,” Greg tells them and turns on his heel to march back the way they came.

"Come on, Lou," Harry murmurs, guiding Louis through the door with his hand pressed to the small of his back. "Let's get you into bed." The door hisses shut behind them.

Louis lets out a tired sigh as Harry dumps their bags on one of the lower bunk beds before leading him over to the larger bed. Louis peels off his trousers and throws back the crisp sheets. His shirt rides up a bit, showing off the tiny swell of his tummy, and Harry feels another wave of protectiveness wash over him. He keeps a hand on the small of Louis' back as Louis crawls onto the mattress, practically purring at its softness.

"Lie down with me?" Louis requests.

"'Course," Harry says and tugs off his shirt and jeans. He joins Louis in the bed, cuddling him close.

"We're safe here, right?" Louis asks softly after a few moments of silence.

Harry squeezes him closer and presses a kiss to his temple. "'Course we are," he says. "If anyone wants to get to you they'll have to go through tons of rock and, like, fourteen levels of security... and me."

Louis smiles and nuzzles closer. Harry sighs contentedly and rucks up Louis' shirt, placing his free hand on Louis' stomach and marvels at its firmness. "I won't let anyone lay a finger on you."

"Which one? Me or the pup?" Louis asks teasingly.

"Either of you," Harry murmurs, completely serious and ignoring Louis' teasing as he strokes his fingers against Louis' soft skin. "Nothing is tearing this family apart. Not as long as I'm around."

"H," Louis murmurs, cupping Harry's face with one hand. "What are you so worried for?"

"'M always worried about you," Harry murmurs. "You and this pup are all I have left. I can’t lose you."

"Nothing's gonna happen to us," Louis whispers. "We're too little to be their priority. They've got bigger problems than us, yeah?"

"But Niall said—"

"I know what he said," Louis says. "'S why he sent us here. So we'll be safe."

Harry sighs, running a thumb over Louis' cheekbone. "I know that. Just can't shake this feeling. Maybe I'm just paranoid, caught up in hormones 'n' shit."

Louis laughs his bell-like laugh at this. "You think you're up to your neck in hormones?" he asks, but it's not a jab. If anything, Harry has as many raging hormones as Louis does. Louis just gets to complain more because he's sharing his body with their pup.

"Sorry," Harry murmurs nonetheless, nuzzling his nose against Louis'. "Try to get some sleep now. It's been a long night, yeah?"

"Yeah," Louis responds breathlessly.

Harry shifts so that they're both on their sides, his front pressed tight to Louis' back. Their legs are slotted together, and Harry drapes an arm over Louis' side. It's quiet and warm for a moment before Louis groans.

"Whass wrong?" Harry slurs as Louis squirms beside him.

"My back hurts," Louis whimpers.

"Lower or upper?" Harry asks.

"Lower," Louis answers.

Harry presses a kiss to the back of Louis' neck before shifting so he can comfortably work out the knots in Louis' back. Louis murmurs where it still hurts and sighs happily once Harry takes away the pain. After several moments of kneading and rubbing, Louis has gone quiet.

"Lou?" Harry whispers, "are you awake?"

Louis mumbles a garbled response, nodding his head against the pillow.

"Are you in pain still?"

Louis shakes his head, his breathing deep and rhythmic, his chest rising and falling slowly beneath the sheets. Harry shuffles back into his position to properly spoon Louis' warm body against his. He presses another kiss to the nape of Louis' neck, murmuring, "Love you, Lou," against his soft skin. Louis mumbles his love back, squirming to get more comfortable.

Harry takes a look around their cupboard of a space and decides that they can make it work. Living here won't be so bad as long as they've got each other. Louis' small puffs of breath tell him that he's comfortable, and that's all Harry strives for. He settles into a comfortable position and presses a soft kiss to the nape of Louis' neck before allowing himself to drift off as well.

***

Harry wakes to an incessant poking. He blearily opens his eyes to find Louis' face centimeters from his own. "Lou?" he asks. "'S something wrong?"

"I'm hungry," Louis tells him.

Harry blinks at him. "Okay," he says stupidly.

"You need to feed us," Louis whines.

Harry sighs and rolls over so his back is to Louis. "Louis I think you can manage by yourself," he mumbles.

"Harry," Louis squeaks, taken aback by Harry's inattention to him.

"You're a big boy, Lou," Harry tells him.

Louis glares at the back of his head. He doesn't know what's gotten into Harry this morning, and he doesn't like it. Harry should be more attentive to him and his needs like a good alpha, even more now that Louis is pregnant. After he hears Harry's breathing deepen and slow, Louis decides he needs some space.

"Fine," he growls, although Harry is asleep, and sheds Harry's jumper before storming out the door.

He sets foot in the hallway, the door hissing shut behind him and blasting him with cold air. He immediately regrets leaving Harry's jumper in a pile on the floor. Louis rubs his arms and starts walking down the corridor. The only thing that distinguishes the pod-like cabins from one another is the number displayed on each door, and Louis realizes that he doesn't know what number their room is.

He feels terrified. He's stood shaking like a leaf in the middle of a never-ending corridor in only his shirt, underpants, and a pair of socks. He swallows hard, hoping that Harry can feel his distress as he wracks his mind for their room number. He makes his way to the the end of the corridor only to find himself at an intersection. He whines out loud, still shaking from distress and the chilling temperature of the air conditioning. He hopes Harry can sense his fear through their bond.

"You there!" Louis turns to see an official looking alpha in a navy blue uniform marching toward him. Louis assumes this alpha is a guard. His heart lifts: someone who can help him! "What are you doing out of uniform?"

Louis squeaks in response. "I got locked out of my—"

"All residents must be in uniform at all times. You're in violation of facility policy," the guard says. "I'm going to need you to come with me."

"But I—" Louis starts.

"Please, sir, I don't want to need to use force."

Louis' eyes widen at this, and he decides that following orders will keep him safer. He allows the guard to escort him to a guards' station that seems like it's a long way from Harry.

Louis whimpers as the guard shoves him into a tiny interrogation room. The door locks from the outside, and the alpha turns to face him, sniffing deeply.

"An omega," he rumbles. "Shouldn't you be with your alpha, bitch? Bad things can happen when bitches like you stray too far from your alpha," he says, licking his lips.

Louis backs further into the corner. "Please don't hurt me," he pleads. "I'm pregnant."

The alpha draws closer to him. "Doesn't matter," he growls. "A bitch is a bitch." He traces Louis' cheek with the tip of a finger. Louis can feel his breath on his cheek. "It's been been so long since I've had an omega." The guard tugs the neck of Louis' shirt back to reveal his bond mark. "Oh, how cute," he drawls. "You've bonded. If your alpha truly cared for you, why isn't he here?"

Louis' blood boils at this. Harry might have been an ass earlier, but no one talks about his alpha that way.

Louis spits in his face. "He does care for me," he hisses. "He dropped everything to keep us safe."

The guard wipes the spat off his face and glowers at Louis. "Stupid bitch," he growls. "No wonder your alpha threw you out."

Louis bristles at this. "He didn't throw me out, you dick," he spits. "I left on my own."

The guard grimaces. "An independent bitch is the worst," he grumbles. He mutters an order for the door to unlock into the radio on his shoulder. He looks Louis up and down before stepping toward the door as it clicks unlocked. "You're useless. I'm having someone else deal with you." And with that he stalks out the door, slamming it shut.

Louis slumps against the wall, his breathing shallow. He can't believe what just happened. A threatening alpha gave up simply because Louis spoke up for himself. He's never seen an alpha back away when they have their sights set on something. Although nearly unimaginable, Louis lists this instance as good fortune. Now if only someone would let him out of this room.... Louis sits in one of the chairs in the room. It's uncomfortable as hell, and it doesn't help that his stomach hurts. It's probably his nerves and hunger that have made his insides churn.

He sits there waiting for someone to unlock the door and talk to him so he can get back to Harry. He hopes that the rest of the staff here isn't like that alpha, and that they'll see reason in his situation.

The door clicks unlocked and a beta pokes his head in. "Louis, right?" Louis nods. "The captain wants to speak with you." Louis nods and gets to his feet, but the beta steps inside and closes the door. “You’ll want to put this on first,” the officer says softly, presenting a pile of folded dark gray material with a pair of black combat boots. Louis eyes it as the guard sets the boots and the material on the table. Louis presumes it’s the uniform he’s to wear. “This is the smallest I could find in the back,” the officer tells him. “We keep spares, but there aren’t any omegas on our force, so it’ll probably be a bit baggy on you. Sorry.”

Louis takes the uniform from the guard, feeling the canvas-like material between his thumb and finger. “Why are you giving this to me?” he asks.

“You’ll want to make a good first impression on the captain,” the officers says. “Plus, you look like you’re cold.” Louis looks down at his ensemble of clothing, feeling his cheeks redden at the fact that this strange beta has seen him in his underwear. “I’ll let you get changed. Just knock on the door when you’re finished.” And with that, the guard steps out of the room to let Lous have his privacy. Louis keeps his shirt on and slips into the trousers. They’re definitely too big on him; he notches the belt on the very last hole and still needs to tug them up every so often. He stuffs the hem of his shirt into the trousers to give them some friction and tugs on the jacket, zipping and buttoning it up to his neck. It’s warmer than it looked, and the inside material is softer than the outer layer. It is big on him, the sleeves surpassing his hands by about three inches, but the boots are even bigger. He’ll need to ask how to get a pair that fits, but for now, he’ll make them work. The bottoms of the trousers get stuffed into the tops of the boots and the laces tied tight around his ankles. He feels ready to kick some butt in this getup, but he has to get out of this police station before he can do anything at all. He runs his fingers through his hair to tame it a little before knocking on the door.

It clicks unlocked and the officers opens the door for him. Louis steps out, crinkling his eyes at the brightness of the hallway before following the beta down a hallway to the captain's office. The beta pushes open the door and informs the captain that 'the omega you wanted to speak with is here.'

The captain looks up at Louis over his glasses. "Have a seat, please," he says, gesturing to the chair in front of his desk. Louis takes a seat as the beta leaves, closing the door behind him.

"So why were you roaming the halls out of uniform?" the captain asks calmly, but firmly.

"My mate and I just arrived," Louis explains. "Neither of us have our own uniforms yet."

"That's excusable," says the captain, nodding agreeably, looking Louis over. He seems pleased that Louis is wearing a uniform now. "But you were also out after curfew."

"I'm sorry," Louis murmurs. "I'm didn't know that there was a curfew. My alpha upset me, so I went on a walk to calm down, but forgot what number out cabin is. I was looking for help when that guard found me."

The captain leans back in his chair, regarding Louis thoughtfully. "I think we can chalk this up to a big misunderstanding," he says. "What do you say?"

"Yes, thank you so much," Louis gushes, feeling relieved. He just wants to crawl back into bed with Harry.

"I'll send someone to find your alpha and have them come collect you," the captain says. "What's the name?"

"Harry Styles," Louis informs him. The captain nods and sends out the order over an intercom.

"It shouldn't take too long now," he tells Louis.

 ****  


Harry wakes slowly, stretching his muscles languidly. "Mhm... morning, Lou," he groans, reaching over to gently shake his mate awake. Harry freezes when the space beside him is empty and cold. "Louis?" he gasps, remembering what he'd said to him earlier, and pushes himself to a sitting position.

He wildly glances around the room, his panic increasing with each millisecond. "Louis?" he calls frantically. Harry scrambles out of bed and slips into a shirt and trousers. He shoves on his shoes and presses the key to open the door. His heart thumps in his chest as the door slides open agonizingly slow. He slips through before it's even opened all the way and looks for Louis down either side of the hall.

"Louis!" he calls, his voice strained with worry. Harry tugs at his hair. "God, I'm such an idiot," he groans. Why the hell did he say something so stupid to Louis? Harry scrambles down the hall calling Louis' name, only receiving strange looks from passers-by. Louis couldn't have gone far; this facility is only so big.

Was Louis really upset enough to wander off on his own like that? Louis isn't dumb, Harry knows this, but he is an omega. If a mated couple's bond isn't strong enough, an omega could wander off and disappear forever. Harry shakes away this fear; he knows his bond with Louis is strong, so if anything was terribly wrong, he would feel it.

Just as the thought passes, a wave of quaking fear floods his blood

"Fuck," he hisses through clenched teeth. The force of it was enough to make him double over and lose his breath. Harry waits a moment to catch his breath before tearing down the hall, letting his senses guide him back to Louis.

"Harry Styles?"

Harry whips around to find an official looking beta. "Yeah?" he pants, still short of breath.

"Is your mate Louis Tomlinson?"

"Yes," Harry breathes. "Why, what's happened?"

"One of our officers found him earlier. He's in holding in Station 84. If you'll come with me, you can reunite with him." The officer nods in his direction and turns on his heel to lead the way. Harry hurries along behind him, his stomach knotted with worry for his boy and relief that he’s been found.

The air of Station 84 is crisp and cool, chilling Harry’s heated skin as he enters the pod. It doesn’t feel cold to him, but he can only imagine what it feels like to Louis, who is more sensitive to temperature changes, like all other omegas. Harry sniffs the air and finds his answer as to why they keep this place such an icebox. Most of the officers here are alphas or betas, so the cold temperature doesn’t faze them in the least. Harry suddenly remembers seeing his jumper on the floor, meaning Louis is in here somewhere in just a tee. He’ll be practically frozen by the time Harry gets to him. He needs to find Louis right now.

The officer leads him down a hallway and pushes open the door. An alpha Harry assumes is the captain sits behind an enormous desk, and a small form sits in the chair across from him.

“Louis!” Harry nearly shouts and the figure on the chair whips around.

“Harry!” Louis yells and jumps to his feet, hurrying to his alpha and throwing his arms around Harry’s waist.

“God, where have you been?” Harry asks, holding Louis tight and pressing kisses to the top of his head. Louis doesn’t respond, he just nuzzles his face against Harry’s chest. They break apart at the sound of a throat clearing loudly.

The captain is standing now, looking gruff. “Harry Styles?” he asks.

“Yeah, that’s me,” Harry responds, wrapping his arm around Louis’ waist.

The captain stares at them for a moment, his fuzzy white eyebrows drawn close together with scrutiny, before rubbing his chin in thought. “Keep an eye on your omega,” he says before taking his seat again. “Don’t let him wander off on his own.”

“Yes, of course,” Harry answers, squeezing Louis just a bit closer to him.

“You’re free to go now,” the captain says, turning back to his work.

“Thank you,” Harry says and pulls Louis out of the room. “God, I’m so sorry, Louis,” he gushes once they’re out of the captain’s office.

Louis nuzzles closer to Harry as they walk. “I know you are,” he says. “I was so scared.”

“I know, I felt it,” Harry mutters. He drops a kiss to the top of Louis’ head. “I swear I’m not letting this kind of thing happen again.” They walk out of Station 84, their arms still wrapped around each other. “What are you wearing, by the way?”

“H, we've got uniforms we’re to wear,” Louis says, looking up at him. “I was taken into holding because I wasn’t wearing a uniform. One of the officers was kind enough to let me use this one so the captain would like me more.”

Harry frowns at this. “Were they an alpha?” he asks, his voice gruff. The thought of another alpha taking care of his omega was insulting.

“No, beta,” Louis says and Harry relaxes a bit.”This one is too big on me, though. Maybe we should find Greg and see if he can do anything for us, ‘cause you need one, too.”

“Yeah,” Harry agrees through a yawn. Neither of them had gotten much sleep this morning. He wants to go back to bed, but remembers why Louis had woken him in the first place. “Are you still hungry?”

“Not really,” Louis responds. “I sort of lost my appetite while they held me.” Louis thinks back to the first guard and doesn’t mention what the alpha attempted to do to him, and he doesn’t feel like sharing that piece of information with Harry right now, if ever.

Harry nods. “D’you wanna go back to bed? I’m sure you didn’t get much sleep, and you need your sleep.”

Louis yawns as well. “Yeah,” he agrees as they stop at their unit. Louis makes sure to remember the numbers on the door. “Just wanna cuddle up to you and sleep for a week,” he says.

Harry drops a kiss to the top of his head. “I can agree with that,” he says and punches in the code to let them in. They fall onto the bed together again as they did when they first set foot in their new home, only this time they hold on a lot tighter than before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading!!!! again, i'm really really sorry


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ayoooooo  
> sorry i've been mia lately  
> i just started college and it's kicking my ass so while i wallow in misery here's a new chapter with a teeny bit of smut to make up for it i hope :)

At six o’clock, an alarm starts to blare. Louis groans as he and Harry detach from one another. Louis blinks around the room, shielding his eyes from the bright flashes of light.

“What the hell?” Harry asks, his voice still gruff from sleep. Outside the door, voices and footsteps can be heard.

“I think that means it’s breakfast time,” Louis mumbles, falling back against the pillows.

Harry joins him again. “It’s too early for this,” he mutters, his words muffled by the pillow he’s stuck his face in.

“Mhm,” Louis agrees, scratching at the skin of Harry’s back. “But we gotta go if we want to eat. We can find Greg after we’re done eating.”

Harry sighs, but rolls over so that he’s facing Louis. “You’re right,” he says, but makes no move to get up from the bed. Louis rolls his eyes and forces himself off the mattress. He pulls the uniform trousers back onto his body, but they feel even looser than before. He lets them fall to the floor and steps out of them.

“See if these will fit you,” he says and tosses the pants at Harry’s face. Harry makes a muffled noise of protest, but it gets him up from the bed. They’re a bit snug on him, hugging his bum in the nicest way. They sit rather low on his hips, right beneath the laurels, and when Harry glances at him, Louis is biting his lower lip. When he catches Harry’s eye, he glances away, his cheeks rosy. Harry smirks to himself as he tugs on his shirt, watching Louis as his movements become more jerky. Harry makes his way over to him, circling his arms around Louis’ waist. Louis stiffens and Harry leans down to press a kiss to his shoulder.

“Later, okay?” he whispers, his lips brushing against the heated skin of Louis’ neck. Louis swallows hard, nodding his head. Harry moves his hands to Louis’ hips, turning him around so he can press their foreheads together. “Let’s get some food in you, yeah?”

“Okay,” Louis replies breathily, his breath tickling against Harry’s lips.

Harry smiles before pressing a quick kiss to Louis’ mouth. “Wear the jacket so you don’t get cold,” he says, and Louis nods silently before pulling on the jacket. Harry reaches for his hand. Louis takes it as it’s offered. Harry presses the key to open the door and they’re hit with a cold blast of air and hundreds of voices. Hand in hand, they step into the hallway, letting the door hiss shut behind them.

Harry tightens his grip on Louis’ hand as they enter the stream of hungry, half-awake people heading for the cafeteria. Louis’ scent mingles with the others’, but Harry is easily able to pick it out of the river of people. He’s not letting Louis out of his sight with this many people around. Amongst them, there’s muffled talk about what's being served today and each others' schedules for the day. Louis notices that some people aren't wearing a uniform either. He wonders if any of them have been reprimanded like he was.

Just then, a voice crackles to life amidst the blaring alarm. It announces that there will be a compound wide assembly for all people who have arrived within the past week at that afternoon at 13:00 hours. Louis looks to Harry, his brows raised in question. Harry purses his lips in thought, flicking his gaze down to meet Louis’ questioning look.

“What d’you think it’ll be about?” Louis asks.

“Dunno,” Harry answers, scanning the mass of people streaming into a set of doors. “We’ll be there, though.”

Louis nods and presses closer to Harry as they pass through the doors themselves. The cafeteria is a long, long brightly lit hall with tables spanning its length. There are already hundreds of people seated throughout the room, eating, conversing, and even laughing among themselves. There are several guards stood by the walls, keeping watch over their civilians. Louis glances over them before making a double take at one across the room from them. It’s the guard that helped him earlier, the beta. Louis never learned his name. As he and Harry get their food, served to them on metal trays, Louis makes his way toward a table next to the guard.

“Lou, where are we going?” Harry asks, his voice slightly strained with worry. They’re in an unfamiliar place filled with unfamiliar people; Louis should be more careful. He sits down next to Louis, relieved that they’re sitting near a guard, but then Louis turns around and smiles at the guard.

“Hi,” he says and the guard glances at him. “I’m Louis. You helped me in the guards’ station early this morning.”

The guard blinks at him before his lips quirk up in a small smile. “Yeah, Louis,” he says friendly enough. “I remember you. I see that uniform isn’t fitting.” He nods to the only article of it that Louis has on, the jacket.

Louis ducks his head slightly. “Yeah,” he laughs lightly. “Thank you for doing that for me. I think it really helped. I just wanted to thank you for that since I never got the chance.”

“Any time,” the guard says, his smile never wavering. “‘S what I’m here for.”

“I never got your name,” Louis mentions. Harry watches this interaction on high alert. This guard has not stopped smiling at Louis since they sat down. Harry begins eating his breakfast in stony silence, his eyes flicking between Louis and this guard whenever one speaks.

“Devine,” the guard says before shaking his head. “It’s Josh, sorry. Used to being addressed by my last name.”

Louis nods. “It’s nice to meet you properly,” he says with a smile while reaching for his toast.

“You, too, Louis,” Josh says. “I”ll be seeing you around, I guess.”

“I'm not going anywhere anytime soon,” Louis laughs and turns back around to start eating his breakfast. A couple tables over, two alphas get to their feet, snarling at each other from across the table. Josh snaps into action and rushes over to the table to break up a fight before it happens.

Harry stares at Louis while he eats his breakfast happily. “What the hell was that?” he asks.

“What?” Louis asks around a mouthful of eggs. He seems surprised by Harry’s fierce look.

“You and that guard,” Harry says, wrinkling his nose in disgust. “You were flirting with him.”

Louis puts down his utensils. “I was not,” he says, giving Harry a pointed look. “I probably would still be sitting in that holding cell if it weren’t for him. I don’t even know if my thanks is enough.”

Harry sets his jaw. “You still flirted.”

Louis looks at him. “I was being pleasant, Harry,” he says. “Didn’t want to upset someone responsible for my safety.”

Harry drops his fork. “He’s not responsible for your safety, Louis!” Harry growls, making Louis startle. “I am your mate, your fucking alpha. I am the only one responsible for you and this pup. What, do you think I’m not capable of protecting you? He’s not going to be able to protect you, a fucking _beta_. I thought our bond was stronger than this, I mean, you’re having my kid.”

Louis stares at him. “What are you talking about?” he asks, a laugh of disbelief escaping his lips. “You think I’m looking for a new mate? Why the hell would I do that when you’re the most amazing alpha I’ve ever met? I’m not stupid, Harry. I can’t leave you anyway because of the pup, but it’s not like I _would_. I love you.”

Harry looks down at his tray in shame. “I’m sorry,” he mutters. “You… you just seemed into him.”

Louis _pffts_ in amusement and leans closer to whisper, “Why would I want a beta when I’ve got my big strong alpha to protect me and fuck me proper?”

Harry swallows hard, closing his eyes in concentration to keep the tent in his pants from getting any bigger. “I’m full,” he mutters. “Let’s go back—”

“I”m not finished eating yet, H,” Louis says innocently, blinking at him through his long lashes. He places a hand on his stomach. “I’m sustaining a life in here. I’ve gotta eat.”

Harry sighs in frustration, rubbing his hands over his face. “Can you eat fast?”

“Dunno,” Louis replies, batting his lashes.

“Louis,” Harry whines lowly, making Louis stiffen all over.

Louis drops his fork and turns to look at Harry, his pupils blown wide. “Not fair,” he whimpers but leans over to kiss him. Harry pries him off unwillingly, but he doesn’t need the whole population to see an aroused omega, especially Louis.

“Let’s go back home first, yeah?” Harry asks, helping Louis to his feet.

“It’s your fault,” Louis whines, straining to get closer to Harry.

“Yeah, well it’s your fault for the activity in the downstairs area,” Harry mutters and ushers Louis out of the exit. He drags them to their pod in record time, shoving more people than he probably should have.

Louis is already trying to rid himself of his clothes, letting out low whines as Harry takes too long to get out of his own clothes.

“Lou, you’ve got to stop doing that,” Harry pants.

Louis hums in response, pushing Harry onto the bed. "Doing what?" he asks as he straddles his alpha's hips.

Harry’s hands move to Louis' hips to hold him steady, biting back a moan. "That whine," Harry murmurs, pressing kisses to Louis' neck and collar bones.

"But you like it," Louis protests softly between kisses. He wriggles his bum against Harry's crotch. "You really like it," he states, his voice sultry.

Harry squirms beneath him, willing his hips to remain still. Louis pauses and slowly draws away from Harry's mouth. He sits back on his legs, frowning at Harry.

"What's wrong?" he asks, his voice almost a dejected whimper. "Am I not... am I not... appealing, anymore?" Louis' cheeks are flushed, and Harry's eyes widen in shock.

"What?" he asks.

"is it because I'm getting fat?" Louis mumbles, sounding like he's on the verge of tears.

"No, no, no, baby," Harry rushes, moving into more of a sit while Louis dismounts from his lap. Harry doesn't let him stray too far, though, pulling Louis to sit next to him. "Louis, you're not fat," Harry tells him, cupping his jaw. "You said so yourself that you're sustaining a life in there, and you've never looked so beautiful." Louis looks away, but Harry turns his head in his hands to make Louis face him. "You've always been beautiful to me, but this.... You're glowing, Louis, and you've got this light to your eyes...." Harry draws closer with hooded eyes, bringing Louis' mouth to meet his own. He plants reassurances onto Louis' lips, gently licking past them in cautious exploration. Louis allows it and leans further into Harry and his reassuring kisses.

Harry moans into his mouth as their kissing deepens. His hands move from Louis' jaw to run the fingers through his hair. Louis moans softly in response, and Harry moves his hands to Louis' hips, guiding him in into a lying position, his mouth never leaving Louis' own, their teeth grazing and lips tugged gently.

Louis can feel Harry put his his whole body into their kissing, especially the rhythm of his hips. He can feel the slick now, and notices Harry's arousal through the uniform trousers as it brushes against his thigh. He threads his fingers through Harry's hair as his mate strips both of them of their clothing, Louis whining in protest when Harry breaks away sloppily to tug both of their shirts over their heads.

Harry wastes no time in stretching him out. He's hardly done anything and Louis' hips are already bucking. Louis didn't know he'd enjoy sex like this. He'd been a virgin when he'd been matched with Nick, and all of the times they'd had sex, Louis had been forced or asleep. Harry doesn't make him feel scared or used. Harry makes him feel excited and pleasured.

He can feel Harry press kisses to his chest and down his stomach, being extra gentle despite the alpha in him wanting to fuck Louis' brains out. He feels the tip of Harry's cock brush against his hole, making him shiver. Harry's being extra gentle and careful as he pushes in, knowing Louis is in delicate condition, but he angles his hips so that Louis can feel the most pleasure. The sense of Harry being a good alpha, being gentle while taking care of him, spreads through his body like like the gentle licks of a flame that doesn't burn, but merely warms the soul.

Louis is brought back to to the moment by Harry calling his name. Louis finds Harry's face close to his and his pupils so blown out the green is merely a sliver. "You all right?" Harry asks gruffly, moving his hips softly. "Thought I lost you for a bit there."

"Nah," Louis says. "You didn't lose me. I was just thinking about how much I love you."

This makes Harry burst with laughter. "I would hope so," he says through chuckles before leaning down to kiss his lips. Harry continues moving his hips until he comes and Louis ends up coming all over his stomach. Harry lets himself soften a bit before pulling out and rolling Louis to his side for a bit of spooning to give him a break before Harry cleans them both up. Louis is already starting to fall asleep, the activity and the lack of a full night’s rest has really taken its toll.

"Let's get you cleaned up, yeah?" Harry says gently after a couple moments of sleepy silence. Louis nods silently, his eyes droopy. Harry scoops him into his arms and carries him to the bathroom. The space is tiny, but he manages to place Louis' feet firmly on the shower floor before stepping in himself. Louis leans against his chest as Harry starts the water.

"Taking such good care of me," Louis mumbles when Harry massages shampoo into Louis' hair for him.

"'S my job," Harry tells him. Louis hums in response, laying soft kisses on Harry's chest. Harry scrubs them both down thoroughly, making certain to be a bit more delicate with Louis since he's probably a bit sore.

"Gonna wanna have a bath sooner or later," Louis mumbles.

"What?" Harry asks with a chuckle as he rubs his mate down with soap. Louis's always a little out of it after having been knotted.

"Not gonna be able to do this when I get big," Louis says with a shrug. "Baths will be nice."

Harry laughs a little. "Think you're a little ahead of yourself, Lou," he says. Louis just shrugs and steps out of the shower to wrap up in a towel. Harry follows soon after, although he skips the towel. Louis fondly rolls his eyes at this and slips out of the tiny bathroom.

"'M serious though, H," Louis says. "We didn't plan this out at all."

"What are you talking about?" Harry asks. "You feeling all right, Lou?"

"Harry, how many pups have you seen around here, huh? How many children?" Louis asks, his eyes suddenly hard.

Harry thinks back to breakfast time, but he was so focused on Louis that everyone else went unnoticed. "Not many if I remember right," he answers anyway.

"Exactly," Louis says. "Where are these refugees like us? Where are their children?"

"I don't know," Harry says, confused.

Louis huffs and hugs himself around his middle. "Maybe this wasn't the safest place for us," he mumbles.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold up," Harry says. "You're having second thoughts about this place now? We're safe here, Louis."

Louis bites his lip. "But what about the pup?" he asks softly. "Does this look like a place to care for a child, let alone a newborn pup?"

"We have time to figure that out, Louis," Harry murmurs, stepping into Louis' space and reaching out to stroke his cheeks. "You let me worry about that kind of stuff."

"Can't help thinking about it," Louis mumbles. "Hafta keep my family safe."

Harry chuckles softly and leans down to press a kiss to Louis' forehead. "Hey now," he whispers. "That's my job, love."

Louis lets out a tiny laugh and snuggles into Harry’s chest. "I know," he breathes, "and you're so good at it, too."

Harry only hums in response, thinking back to earlier when he'd let Louis leave angry. What a bang up job of protecting him he's doing. Louis must sense his uneasiness because he presses tiny kisses on Harry's chest. Harry tightens his arms around Louis.

"I love you," Louis whispers.

“I love you more," Harry murmurs.

Louis tilts his head back to look up at him, a small, eye-crinkling smile on his face. “Don’t be such a sap,” he teases, but Harry can tell by his tone of voice that both of them know it isn’t true since they’re so codependent on each other.

“Can’t help it,” Harry mumbles, rubbing his hands down Louis’ arms. “You make me a sap.”

Louis scoffs at that, but there’s a stupid smile on his face as he pushes Harry away from him. “Get away, you big lug,” he says. “We’ve had our fun, now it’s time to get to work.”

“Work?” Harry asks, confused.

“Well, we were going to find Greg to see if he can help us, right?” Louis prompts in attempt to jog Harry’s memory of what they had planned before breakfast.

“Oh… yeah,” Harry says, rubbing his chin in thought. “I’m sure he’ll be at that meeting later today.”

Louis nods in agreeance. “What time is that again? One?”

“That sounds right,” Harry says, glancing at the panel next to the door. The time is displayed as 08:22. “What do you want to do to pass the time?”

Louis shrugs. “Can’t really go anywhere without getting stopped since we don’t have our uniforms yet.” He lets out a yawn. “We can sleep. Didn’t get much the past few days.” A tired smile graces his lips.

“Yes,” Harry agrees, taking Louis’ hand and leading him to the bed. “Your sleep is important.”

Louis flashes him a gentle, sleepy smile. Harry helps him into bed, drawing the sheets up to his chest. When he’s done tucking him in, Harry meets Louis’ eye.

“You’re going to make such a good dad,” Louis tells him softly. Harry just smiles softly at him before crawling into bed next to him.

"You will, too," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to Louis' temple.

It's quiet for a moment, their breathing slowing into the rhythmic pattern of sleep, when Louis whispers, "I want it to be a girl."

Harry shifts so he can face him properly, humming his acknowledgement. "A girl would be nice," he says. "But why the preference?"

"I don't want my son presenting as an omega," Louis whispers. "I don't want my pup growing up like that."

"Louis...." Harry trails off, thumbing at Louis' cheek. He knows where Louis is going with this. If any tears fall, he'll be ready to wipe them away.

"And I know a girl could present as omega, but there's less stigma around female omegas. I mean, it'd still be dangerous either way, but you know how people are with male omegas...." Louis doesn't meet his gaze, a hand trailing down to rest on his belly.

“I know,” Harry tells him. “We don’t need to worry about this for years, though.”

“You’re right,” Louis mumbles.

“And besides, they could present as alpha,” Harry points out. “Or beta. There’s only a thirty-three percent chance that our kid will be omega either way.”

Louis lets out a long sigh. “I know,” he says. “I’m just tired and can’t get it out of my head.”

Harry hums in acknowledgment, pressing a kiss to Louis’ temple. “Try to get some sleep now,” he says and hunkers back down under the covers with Louis.

“Will you sing for me?” Louis asks, “Like you used to?”

Harry throws an arm around Louis and pulls him closer to his chest, Harry’s nose pressed against the back of Louis’ neck. “‘Course I can,” he murmurs, dropping a kiss to Louis’ neck before he breathes out the words, “ _And every song that plays, just like the day you had. And it’s okay to cry, but I’m saying that’s a waste of water, you know I’m here for you_ ….”

Louis sighs in contentment, his fingers threading with Harry's at his hip where Harry's hand has been resting. "I love you," he whispers.

"I love you, too," Harry murmurs, giving Louis' hand a squeeze, and together they drift off into unconsciousness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading!!!!!!
> 
> harry sings [this]() song


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YES I AM ALIVE I AM SO SORRY THAT I TOOK SO LONG TO WRITE SOMETHING THIS SHORT.
> 
> college is kicking my ass but i only have like 4 weeks left of this semester and a month off before i start my summer job, so hopefully i can get some work done!
> 
> i feel like this chapter is short and kind of pointless but oh well
> 
> this is unbetaed so please let me know if something doesn't make sense haha.

Louis wakes up to Harry’s body curled up around his, his nose buried in Louis’ hair as his breath hits softly against the nape of his neck. He feels warm and safe and definitely does not want to crawl out of their bed. Harry’s arm weighs heavily on Louis’ side, keeping his smaller body closer. Harry’s fingers bunch up the fabric of Louis’ t-shirt just beneath his navel, the knuckles brushing gently against his stomach as the two of them breathe. Louis doesn’t want to be the first one out of bed, so he lets out a low whine, and Harry shifts almost immediately, the alpha in him wanting to protect his mate from any form of danger or discomfort.

“Lou,” he rumbles, his voice gravelly. “Louis.” Louis only whimpers softly as if he were still asleep. Now it feels like a game and Louis feels the need to make Harry think that he’s still asleep. Harry comes to this conclusion fairly quickly, settling back down closer to Louis, his chin resting in the space where Louis’ shoulder meets his neck. Harry has his arms wrapped around him, his warm palms brushing over the exposed skin of Louis’ arms. “Louis, love,” Harry murmurs, “we need to get up.”

Louis keeps his eyes shut, wanting to prolong his game. He rolls over and buries his face in Harry’s chest, clutching his shirt in his hand. Harry makes a noise mixed with amusement and cooing. Louis feels kisses dropping on the top of his head. He really doesn’t want this to end, but before he knows it, Harry is moving farther away from him. He whimpers a bit to signal his discomfort with this, but Harry shushes him gently with a kiss on the tip of his nose. Then, his hands pull up Louis’ shirt, exposing his belly. He runs his warm palms over the swell of it, humming to himself before he places a kiss just above Louis’ navel.

"Hey, little one," he murmurs. "Your papa doesn't want to wake up, but I need him to." Harry sighs, his breath tickling against Louis' sensitive skin. "Think you could help me get him up? He says you keep him up a lot, and it'd be nice if you could let him sleep when he needs it, but now it's okay if you wake him up...."

Louis opens his eyes now, deeming the game over. Harry notices this straight away and leans up to press a kiss to his lips. “Mhm,” Louis hums in contentment. “Love waking up to you.”

Harry grins at him. “Back atcha,” he says.

“I want to stay in bed forever,” Louis mumbles.

“Mhm,” Harry hums in agreement. “We’ve got a meeting to go to, though.”

Louis only groans in response, but rolls to the side of the bed to get up. They both dress in warmer clothing, Harry making certain that Louis has on plenty of layers, before stepping through the door and into the hallway.

Overhead, the digital panels lining the length of the hall’s ceiling that display information show a route to the new arrivals’ meeting. There’s a good amount of people making their way down the halls toward what seems to be an auditorium. 

Louis shivers a little beside Harry. It seems as if they don’t like to keep the place heated. Harry pulls him closer in silent swiftness, tucking Louis into his side. Louis smiles to himself, and loops an arm around Harry’s waist to stay closer to him as they walk. He knows they look codependent, but that’s what they are, so he doesn’t really care. Besides, any good alpha would do the same for their mate. He’s seen other mated couples clingier, so this pales in comparison.

They reach a large set of double doors with guards on either side. They hand out backpacks, one for each person, as the new arrivals enter the auditorium. They’ve been instructed not to open them yet.

They’re ushered down the hall by other officers, who show them where to sit. Harry and Louis are sat next to a alpha-omega couple with a young pup. The little girl is sitting on her alpha mother’s lap, zipping and unzipping her jacket. Louis looks on out of the corner of his eye, smiling to himself. He nudges Harry, who looks on with wonder.

“How old is she?” Louis asks softly.

The omega mother looks at him, smiling. “Two,” she answers, reaching out to run her fingers through her daughter’s hair.

“She’s a cutie,” Harry says.

“Thank you.” Her mothers beam. Louis watches Harry while he focuses on the pup next to them. He smiles to himself again, knowing how loved their pup is going to be. He looks around a little more, relieved to find more children than he’s seen since they arrived. He was certain that others had brought their children with them, but he hadn’t seen any from their time here. Stumbling upon that, he wonders what will be done with these children….

He turns to voice his concern to Harry, but he’s interrupted by the loudspeaker.

“Hello, and welcome to the Bunker.” Greg’s voice echoes through the hall. His image flickers to life on several flat screens throughout the room for better viewing purposes. He looks like a determined leader in his navy, decorated uniform. “We have had three thousand new arrivals this week alone.” There’s a round of applause and some whooping, but it settles fairly quickly.

“Yes, yes, good news,” Greg continues, a small smile tugging at his lips before it disappears. “In this meeting, we will establish our most important rules and regulations, go over expectations, etiquette, career options, and answer any questions that you may have.” There’s light applause this time, and the lights dim so that the projection behind him can be seen clearly.

“First and foremost, if you open the backpacks given to you at the door, you will find a gauntlet. This must be worn at all times. It acts as your ID and your key. You have all been granted a basic clearance level and this gauntlet should get you into any basic clearance level door. If your career assignment requires a higher clearance level, it will be programmed directly into your gauntlet. Anyone caught without their gauntlet will face dire consequences. Once this meeting is over, it is required that you go to the registration offices so that your information can be loaded onto your gauntlet. It is very important that you do not lose this piece of technology. If lost, you will not be granted access to anywhere in the building or receive meals at the dining hall.

“Since you are only granted basic clearance, unless otherwise granted, you are allowed nearly anywhere in the building. If you are found in a clearance level higher than what you have been granted, you will be given one warning. If found out of bounds once again, you will be arrested and held until your mate or a family member can vouch for you.

“Moving on, uniforms must be worn at all times. You will be assigned three sets when you go to register your gauntlet. If you are found without your uniform on, you will be detained until someone from your unit comes to collect you.” Louis looks up to Harry, who gives him a knowing look. They’ve discovered this already.

“The dining halls are open 24/7 for your convenience, as are the gymnasium and the library. Quiet hours begin at 20:00 hours and continue through to 06:00 hours each morning. We ask that you be considerate of these hours. If you are not and a complaint is filed, you will be documented. Each of you is allowed five documentations before you will be held by our police force. This is your only warning of that.

“We have a multitude of career opportunities available to you. These careers help make our community more efficient and run smoothly. They range from working on our police force to keep our citizens safe to working in the kitchens to feed our community. More information can be found at the registration offices where our counselors will be ready to help you find your best fit in our community. If there are any questions, I will take them now.”

Greg answers various questions from the crowd for about forty-five minutes before they’re dismissed to go to the registration offices. The officers usher them out in an organized fashion and there are people to point them in the right direction.

The line for the registration offices is long, but there are about forty different offices where new arrivals such as themselves can be registered into the system. Harry and Louis themselves wait about half an hour before there’s an opening for them and an assistant leads them into an open office. A male alpha sits at the desk, tapping away on a keyboard. He glances at them as they enter, getting to his feet.

“Good afternoon,” he greets, offering a hand to shake. Harry is weary, but each of them shake his hand. “My name is Garret Pernel and I’ll be registering you today.”

“I’m Harry and this is my mate Louis,” Harry introduces them. Garrett nods and gestures for them to take a seat.

“Now, what do you think of our facility so far?” he asks.

“We haven’t had much time to explore,” Louis admits. “We arrived late last night.”

“I see,” Garrett says, nodding. “You’ve been to the health center, though?”

“Yeah,” Harry supplies.

“And you were administered trackers?” They nod. Garrett smiles. “Perfect! We can wirelessly connect your trackers to your gauntlets so you can check your health information whenever you’d like to.” 

Harry looks at Louis, the two of them deliberating in silence. They both nod to each other after a while before turning back to Garrett to affirm their choice. “That sounds like a good idea,” Harry answers and Garrett nods. He taps on his keyboard and has them present their forearms. As he fits their gauntlets to their arms, Louis' mind wanders.

He wonders what career will best fit Harry and himself. He doubts that there is much available to pregnant people. If he can't find a career, he's certain that he'll go mad In here. There is only so much he could do to occupy himself.

There was the library. He could read a lot. He could go for walks around the Bunker, too. Maybe he could go to the gym once in awhile and walk around the track.

“...several careers available. Louis?” Louis didn't realize he hadn't been listening for that long. Garret looks at him expectantly, a pleasant and patient smile on his lips.

“I'm sorry, what did you say?” Louis asks, straightening his posture in his seat.

“What sort of career would you be interested in?” Garret asks.

Louis shrugs. “I'm sure there aren't any available to me.” Garrett furrows his brows in confusion. “I'm pregnant,” Louis explains.

“Oh!” he exclaims, a smile breaking onto his face. “Congratulations! There's plenty of careers available for you here!”

“Really?” Louis asks, his interest piquing. Most of the time, even if male omegas have a job, they are not allowed to work while with pup. He’s liking this place more and more.

“Oh yes,” Garrett assures him, scrolling through options on his screen. “As of right now, all we have is daycare supervisor and teaching or nursing assistant. These positions are fairly flexible, so if you wait a few weeks there might be more options if neither of these interest you.”

Harry frowns. “Those seem awfully sexist,” he says.

Louis pats his thigh. “It's all right, H,” he comforts. “I'd be comfortable with any of those careers.” Harry doesn't look convinced, but he says nothing more about it.

Louis looks back to Garrett, who is waiting patiently. “I'll take the daycare supervisor position, if that's all right with you,” he says.

“Perfect!” Garret says and taps on his keyboard. “So I have Louis down for daycare supervisor and Harry for security.”

Louis looks up in surprise. He doesn't remember that being discussed. He must have tuned out while Harry decided on what he wanted to do. He sends Harry a questioning look.

“It'll make me feel better knowing I can do more to keep you safe,” Harry murmurs, reaching for Louis’ hand. “I'll train for a couple weeks and I'll try to get stationed near where you'll be working. How does that sound?”

Louis is still uneasy, but he entwines his fingers with Harry's in lieu of giving a verbal answer. Harry seems to relax at this gesture, and gives Louis’ hand a squeeze.

Garrett smiles at them for a short moment before moving on. He produces two cables, laying them out on his desk. “What we're going to do next is load all of your information into your gauntlets. Since you have your trackers already, all of your medical information is loaded into it. We need to add your personal information and contacts.”

Harry and Louis glance at each other. “All we have is each other,” Harry murmurs. 

“These will be emergency personnel and my information since I'm going to be your advisor,” Garret says. “I'm here to assist you if you want to change careers or move housing units or just need general information.” He has them lay their forearms on the desk and Garrett hooks them up to his computer via the cables. He asks them general information about themselves (full name, birthday, A/B/O status, mated status and mate, and inputs their careers. Once all their information is loaded into their gauntlets, Garrett disconnects them. “There! You two should be good to go. Do you have any questions?”

“When and where should we report for our careers?” Louis asks.

“A notification will be sent to your gauntlets,” says Garrett. “Nearly all communications will be sent to you that way. Anything else?”

“I think we're good,” Harry says.

“Great,” Garret says. “I'm available if you need me in the future. You can contact me via your gauntlets or just walk in.”

“Sounds great,” Harry says and gets to his feet, helping Louis up as well. “Thank you for helping us.” He offers a hand to shake.

Garrett shakes his proffered hand. “You are very welcome. Come back anytime!”

Before they leave the counseling center, a guard asks them what size shoe and uniform each of them will need. Louis is given a maternity uniform so that he'll be able to fit into something as his pregnancy progresses.

After they have completed their registration, they slip into their uniforms, put on the backpacks they received, and decide to do some exploring of the facility since they didn't really have the chance earlier.

The bunker is made up mostly of the housing units. There are a number of cafeterias scattered across the bunker for convenience’s sake, each offering something a little different from the others. There is a large gymnasium and weight room, along with an indoor track and swimming pool. The library’s book selection is sizable, considering that almost all books were burned in the Last Great War years ago. There is even a movie theater, which is the last thing either of them expected to find since new movies haven't been produced in years. The only entertainment available  is government propaganda disguised as sitcoms and soap operas.

Eventually, they find the daycare center that Louis will be working at. It seems as if all the younger pups attend this daycare. There are children from two months to five years old. Well, the youngest pups are not in the room, but there is a door labeled “Nursery (2 mo. - 8 mo.)” off to the side. The older children play with toys and each other. The adults keep watch by a few interacting with the children and the others monitoring the happenings throughout the room. The children seem to be content and entertained. Louis is just relieved to find out where the younger children are since this place seemed to be pretty devoid of them. He'd had a bad feeling about that. He assumes that children older than five have some sort of schooling available to them. He hopes so.

“Want to go in, Lou?” Harry asks, nudging Louis a bit.

“No,” Louis mumbles. “Garrett said our career information would be sent to us soon and they probably won't know that I'll be working with them yet.”

“Well, then let's both go in and ask about it for our pup,” Harry says.

“Why? We have months,” Louis scoffs, placing a hand on his stomach. He's between nine and ten weeks along, so they have over six months before the pup even arrives. Even after that, mates usually take two or three months to focus solely on their pup together. He's suddenly aware of how he's going to nest. They didn't bring much with them, and there's not a whole lot of space in their pod. Oh, God, what will they do for a crib? For a nursery? There's so much they didn't think about.

“Louis?” Harry asks, sensing his mate’s sudden panic. “Are you all right?”

Louis swallows hard and glances at Harry. “There's so much we didn't think about,” he murmurs. He stares at the children playing together, looking happy and content, and wonders how in the hell they got into this mess.

“Louis?” Harry sounds concerned now, his fingers brushing against Louis' waist as he pulls him closer.

“I don't want to be here,” Louis whispers. “Please take me somewhere else.”

“Okay,” Harry murmurs and presses a kiss to the top of Louis’ head before steering Louis in the other direction.

They don't speak until they've found a small, hidden alcove to slip into.

“What's wrong?” Harry asks, cupping Louis' cheeks in his hands.

“We're not prepared, Harry,” Louis mumbles. “Where is the pup going to sleep once it's here? How will I nest?”

Harry, ever-patient, allows Louis to voice all his frustrations before saying anything. He takes Louis’ hands in his, squeezing gently before speaking. “Louis, we have time to figure all this out, and there are plenty of resources here for us to use. If you want to, we can go talk to Garrett again or one of the other advisors. We don't have to do this on our own.”

“But we  _ do _ , Harry,” Louis replies. “Instinct tells me that I should be able to do this on my own, and I feel like I'm already failing.” He sighs, feeling frustrated. “Life would have been much easier if I weren't pregnant.”

Harry is quiet for a moment. “Do you wish you weren't?” he asks quietly.

Louis glances away. “I don't know, maybe sometimes,” he mumbles.

Harry drops Louis’ hands from his. “Oh,” he murmurs. He lets out a long breath and stares straight ahead, not looking at Louis.

Louis knows he’s said the wrong thing. “Harry….” He reaches out to take Harry’s hand in his again. Harry allows it, but his fingers don’t wrap around Louis’ hand. “I didn’t mean it,” Louis mutters. “It’s just hard sometimes, you know?”

“I know,” Harry says, sighing as he turns back to Louis. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have reacted like that. I can’t expect you to enjoy this.”

“We’re making the best of it,” Louis murmurs. “It was between coming here and living or getting caught and who knows what would happen then. I’m glad we’re here.”

Harry smiles a little, pulling Louis into a hug. “What did I do to deserve you?” he asks and Louis just buries his face further into Harry’s chest.

“Why don’t we get some lunch?” Harry asks. “How does that sound?”

“Amazing,” Louis replies without moving his face from Harry’s chest. Harry laughs at his mate’s antics and pulls him along to find the nearest dining hall.

There’s different scents mingling from the multiple kitchens, but one makes Harry stop short. It smells like something he hasn’t smelled in a long time, Sunday dinner, the way his mother used to make it. Suddenly he’s hit with nostalgia. His mother would take all day to prepare the most delicious meal he’d ever tasted, and she somehow managed to top it each week. He wonders what became of his mother, of his family. He hasn’t seen them in ten years; hell, he doesn’t know whether or not they’re even  _ alive _ .

Louis hums his approval of the smell, and Harry lets him slip away to find whatever he’d like, too caught up in the scent to be too worried about Louis. The hall is close to empty, so he doesn’t see any harm in Louis being on his own for a short while. There’s a couple different kitchens, each offering a different option, but he’s intent on finding the source of that familiar smell. When he finds which kitchen it’s at, there’s a bit of a line of people waiting for a new batch of food to be put out.

Harry picks up a plate, his fingers drumming against the bottom as he waits. Louis finds him after a moment, his plate full.

“Find what you wanted?” Harry asks, smiling down at Louis, who nods.

“I’ll wait with you,” he says, and Harry would reach out for his hand if neither of theirs were occupied.

They don’t have to wait long until the line moves ahead. Harry starts off with the potatoes, glancing at the worker waiting to add more to the pot, and feels his heart stop.

“Mum?” he asks, letting his plate clatter to the floor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ahhhhhhh! a cliff hanger!!!! i am truly evil i am sorry.  
> but i'm hoping i'll be able to crank out another chapter soon :)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am so sorry this took so long. i did not intend to leave you hanging that long. now that i'm done with school, i hope to do more writing, but i am also working full time in addition to part time, so please bear with me.
> 
> this is a bit longer so i hope that makes up for it :)

She stands frozen, staring at him. “Harry?” she squeaks.

“Hey!” A guard hurries over. It's Josh, looking worried. “Everything all right over here?”

Anne quickly casts her gaze down. “I’m sorry officer,” she murmurs. “This is the first time I’ve seen my son in ten years.”

Josh’s brows shoot up into his hairline. He points to Harry, mouthing ‘him’ and Anne nods. “What are you doing behind there, then? Your shift’s almost over anyway, be done for the day,” he says.

“Really?” Anne asks, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. Harry just stares at Josh in disbelief. It's hard to dislike the guy now.

Josh nods. “Don’t let anyone know that I let you go early, though.”

Anne nods vigorously as Josh begins to walk away. “Thank you so much, officer,” she says and drops the pot she'd been holding on the counter before hurrying through the double doors that lead into the common area.

She runs into Harry’s arms, Harry picking her up a little bit as he hugs her fiercely back. Her fingers are knotted in his hair as she cries.

“You got so tall,” she mumbles with a sniffle as Harry puts her back down. She doesn’t let go, though, and neither does he.

“You just got short,” he murmurs. Anne is about as tall as Louis, so she barely reaches his shoulders.

Louis stands off to the side rather awkwardly. He feels so happy for Harry, though. He could cry himself, really. Harry has spent ten years not knowing if his family was alive, and seeing him with his mother now, Louis starts weeping.

Harry of course notices this almost immediately. He hates to tear himself away from his mother, but his mate is his first priority. He walks over and pulls Louis into a hug, rubbing his back and shushing him. Louis’ sobs ebb into sniffles, and Anne stands waiting patiently. What a saint this woman is. It’s almost enough to send him into another wave of hysterics, but Louis wants to be strong for Harry.

“Now, who’s this?” she asks Harry, nodding toward Louis. The softest smile pulls at Harry’s mouth.

“Mum, this is Louis,” he says, his smile getting so big and looking so proud. “He’s my best friend, and my mate.”

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” Louis says, offering a hand to shake, but Anne disregards it and pulls him in for a hug.

“Thank you for taking care of my Harry,” she whispers in his ear. “I was so worried about him.”

Louis is shocked, but he replies with, “Harry takes care of me, too.”

Anne squeezes him for just a bit longer before releasing him and turning back to her son. “I’m so proud of you, love,” she says, tears in her eyes again.

“Oh, Mum,” Harry mutters and pulls her in for another hug. “I missed you so much… what happened to you guys?”

Anne’s gaze is steely. “We were more worried about you, Harry,” she says. “You disappeared… I thought you were  _ dead _ . What happened?”

Harry sucks in a breath as he remembers that day.

 

**TEN YEARS AGO**

Harry grabs his bag by the door. Each of them was to keep one prepared in case a situation like this ever happened. The house shakes with the  _ booms _ of the bombs raining down on the rest of town miles away; he’s surprised that the place is still standing. He runs down the stairs where his father directs everyone out of the house to the fallout shelter six blocks away. They only had so many moments before the airstrike would reach them.

“Hurry,” his father yells over the noise.

“I’m hurrying,” Harry yells back. He scrambles out the door just a few meters behind his mother and sister. His father slams the door shut and runs after the rest of his family.

The street is full of screaming people, most of them running the same way, but there are a few worried parents fighting the flow searching for their children. He can see his mother and sister a few meters ahead, and then more sirens pierce the air, sending people into more panic. Harry is knocked to the ground, scraping his hands and chin. He pushes himself up as fast as he can in order to avoid being trampled.

He can’t see his family anymore; his father must have run past him. There’s no use in calling for them; they wouldn’t be able to hear him over the chaos, and there are too many children calling for their parents for his voice to be discerned from the noise.

He moves with the wave of people, desperately searching the crowd for his parents or sister. The shelter is in his sights when suddenly a hand wraps around his wrist. He pulls away, but the man has a hard grip on him.

“Let me go!” Harry growls, but the man just tugs him along, away from the entrance Harry knows that he’s supposed to use. When their neighborhood had practiced, families were given a specific entrance to use based on their last name. This man is dragging him toward the beginning of the alphabet.

“Omegas and children first!” yells a guard as people push toward the doors.

The man pulls Harry to the front, telling the guard, “My name is Zachariah Brooks. My mate is already in there with our younger children; my son and I need to get in there!” The guard checks his list, nods and allows them to pass through. The man drops Harry’s wrist as soon as they’re out of the guard’s view.

“Thanks, kid,” he says with a smirk and goes off to find a bunk.

Harry should be mad that this random stranger used him as an excuse to get into the shelter before others who needed it more, but right now he needs to focus on finding his family. This shelter was designed to hold at least 5,000 people, so he knows that his best chance at finding them is to go to their designated area that was assigned to them when their neighborhood was drilled. If the use of phones was permitted, he’d call them, or they would have called him by now, but since the signal interferes with defenses, cell phones are prohibited during a bombing.

There are ten floors below exactly like this one; each floor is supposed to hold 500 people. People are to bring their own provisions, so all that is offered is a bunk and communal bathrooms. There is a small ration of water and canned goods available to each family if it is needed, but it is nothing to live on.

Harry doesn’t know if the sirens have stopped, or if he’s too deep within the shelter to hear them. Families are moving into their own spaces anyway, and their voices echo off the cement walls. It’s difficult to discern any particular sounds from the din of it all. It’s so loud that he didn’t hear the officer at first.

A hand lands on his shoulder, causing him to startle. “What’s your deal, son?” the severe-looking officer asks.

“I’m looking for my family,” Harry tells him. “We got separated.”

“What’s the name?” asks the officer.

“Styles,” he responds.

The officer flicks through a list on his tablet. “Sorry, kid, but the only ‘Styles’ I got coming up is confirmed as missing.”

“What?” Harry asks, his stomach dropping to his toes.

“Sorry, kid, I don’t know what to tell you. We're in the middle of an air raid. Families get separated and some go missing,” the officer says. He must deliver this type of news regularly. “How old are you?”

“Fourteen,” Harry answers, still trembling. They can't be…. No, there must be some mistake. He's not going to believe this officer.

“We’re not going to turn you out since you’re a minor, but we will need to place you in a home once the fallout is over. You’ll remain in foster care until your family is reported as found..” Harry just stands there, staring off into the distance. The officer grabs him by the upper arm and leads him to a room with a number of kids who also ended up here alone. “Sorry, kid, but that’s protocol,” the officers says as he releases his arm. Harry curses at him and the officer just shakes his head before turning to leave. The door shuts soundly behind him.

The other kids stare at him before glancing away to mind their own business. Harry huffs in frustration and slumps against the wall, wondering what the hell is going to happen to him, and what happened to his family.

About two hours later, the door opens again and a guard tells them to follow him. They each will be placed in a foster family. Harry objects to this, insisting that his family is somewhere and very much alive, but none of the adults listen to him. He tries to call them, but the bombings must have disrupted communications. He has no choice but to do as these officers say, otherwise he could be thrown in juvenile detention rather than a foster home.

He ends up placed in the care of the Horans, where he meets Niall. They become such good friends and Harry meets Niall's friends Liam and Zayn. When they all come of age, they decide to move in together, and then Louis answers their fifth roommate ad, and the rest is history.

**NOW**

“Some old guy used me to get into the fallout shelter and some guard told me you guys had gone missing. They kept me in a room with several other kids who’d gotten there alone after they told me you were reported missing. They placed me in foster care where I met my friends and Louis,” Harry summarizes. “I guess they were having communication problems. Maybe their network was disrupted during the raid.”

“We should have looked for you,” Anne murmurs. “We'd lost hope when they never found your name on the check-in list. We thought… we thought you didn't make it to the fallout shelter.”

Harry pulls her into his arms. “I never blamed you,” he murmurs, “and I don't now. I'm just grateful to see you again.”

Anne smiles sadly and cradles his face in her hands. “That's my boy,” she whispers. She gives him a squeeze before slipping away, far too soon for Harry's liking. “I'll bet you're hungry,” she says.

“Not anymore,” Harry tells her but she just shakes her head and dishes up a plate for him and herself before finding a place to sit.

Louis eats happily, but Harry is still too shell-shocked to focus on eating. He just watches Anne eat her own cooking, and it's almost like nothing had happened. She looks so at peace. He tries to eat for her sake. The fact that this is her cooking makes it a hell of a lot more palatable than if it had been anyone else’s. They don't talk much throughout dinner, but he's content with just being in his mother's presence.

“So, Louis, tell me about yourself,” Anne says toward the end.

Louis glances up in surprise. Most people don't ask omegas much, let alone to talk about themselves. “Erm,” he starts.  “I answered Harry and his mates’ roommate ad about five years ago. We got on well pretty fast. I, uh, like football and have a big family. Uh....” He can't think of much else, having been caught off guard by the request. 

“He's also carrying our pup,” Harry adds, grinning ear to ear.

Anne gasps. “Really?” she asks.

Louis nods, feeling the blush creep up his neck. “I'm about ten weeks along.”

“Oh, congratulations!” Anne beams. Harry beams back, wrapping an arm around Louis. “You'll have to come by to see your father and sister,” Anne says.

“Of course,” Harry says, glancing to Louis. “Are you feeling up to it now, Lou?” he asks.

Louis feels pretty tired and overwhelmed, actually, but he wants to meet the rest of Harry's family. “Yes,” he responds.

“Wonderful,” Anne says, smiling warmly. “They'll be so shocked. We'll need to call Gemma over, though. She lives a couple units down from us.”

“How is Gemma?” Harry asks.

“Well, as we all are,” Anne says with a smile. “She's got a mate and a year old pup.”

“Wow,” Harry murmurs. “What's her mate like?”

“He's nice,” Anne says. “They weren't matched;  they met here when we arrived.”

“Louis and I weren't matched either,” Harry confesses. “We, uh, accidentally mated, actually.” He has a furious blush on his cheeks. “When we found out he was pregnant we fled the city.”

Anne nods. “The city is a dangerous place for unmatched mated couples,” she says. “This bunker is home to a lot of people like you.”

Harry's brows furrow. “Why did you guys come here?” he asks. 

“A lot of the neighborhood was destroyed in the bombings, including our house,” she says with a sigh. “There weren’t many places for refugees, and we bounced around for awhile before we found out about the Bunker.”

“I’m sorry about the house,” Harry says.

Anne waves her hand in disregard. “We couldn’t do anything about it,” she says. “When it’s raining bombs, you’re lucky to make it out with your life.”

Harry nods, wishing that he could have made it out with his family. He knows that he’s lucky to be alive, and that he found his family after all these years, but there was so much of his life that held so many avoidable uncertainties.

He takes a deep breath, feeling Louis’ fingers wrap around his, and reminds himself that he wouldn't have found Louis if his separation from his family hadn't happened.

He flashes a small smile at Louis as he lets his fingers wrap back around Louis’. Anne watches her son with a fondness only a mother can achieve. There's a pull of doubt on her face, as if she can hardly believe that her son is sat in front of her, but it passes from her features as quickly as it appeared. 

She gently clears her throat, tearing Harry's attention from his mate. She smiles. “Shall we?” she asks, rising to her feet.

Harry glances at Louis to make sure that he's still up for meeting the rest of Harry's family. Louis gives him a reassuring nod as Harry helps him to his feet.

They return their plates to a carousel that disappears into the kitchen for washing. As they follow Anne to the exit, Harry catches Josh’s eye and mouths a ‘thank you’ at him. Josh nods dutifully in response.

 

 

Harry and Louis’ pod is separated from Harry's parents’ by several floors. Anne explains that newer arrivals are assigned pods further down, meaning those who have inhabited the Bunker the longest are closest to the surface. 

“How long have you lived here, Mum?” Harry asks as they walk down another long hall.

“Seven years,” Anne replies.

“Do you like it?” Harry asks.

Anne hesitates slightly. “It serves its purpose,” she says cryptically.  She keys in her code and the door hisses open. She leads them in and both Harry and Louis are caught off guard at its size. Anne’s pod is much bigger, including a small kitchen and adjacent den, where a man is sat on the sofa.

“Anne?” he asks, getting to his feet. “Is that y—?” His eyes land on Harry, growing almost comically large. “Son?” he whispers.

“Hi, Dad,” Harry whispers  back.

Des stares at him in bewilderment. Harry stares back, taking in the way his father's features have aged. The salt and pepper hair is now dull gray, and the rest of him looks less vibrant. There's something just behind his eyes that wasn't there during Harry's youth.

“Des,” Anne murmurs. “Say something, please.”

He swallows hard before speaking. “Harry?” he asks softly.

“It’s me, Dad,” Harry says, taking a step forward, and before he knows it, Des has swept him into his arms and into a bone-crushing hug.

“I thought you were dead,” Des whispers. “Everything was such a blur and when we got to the shelter, you were gone. I begged the guards to let me look for you, but they told me to get inside.” Des squeezes him a little harder before letting go and stepping back to take a look at his son. “You were my responsibility to look after during the bombings, and I lost you in that crowd.”

Now Harry sees it; it’s guilt hiding just behind his father’s eyes. He must have spent all those years blaming himself for Harry’s disappearance that day. “It’s not your fault, Dad,” Harry tells him. “There were so many people….”

“What happened?” Des asks quietly. Harry explains falling, searching for them, and the man that used him to get into the shelter. He talks about the guards and being placed in foster care where he met his friends and mate. Des’ brows grow closer to each other as Harry talks. Harry finishes his account, and Des is quiet for a moment before he speaks.

“I can't believe the asshole lived in our neighborhood,” Des mutters. “Who uses a kid like that? And what's with the guards’ checklists? The way our situation was handled doesn’t sound like proper protocol at all.”

“Des,” Anne says, giving him a look. “It's years behind us. We can't change the past; all we can do is be grateful that our Harry has returned to us happy and healthy.” 

Des nods slowly, taking a calming breath. He looks back to Harry. “You’re happy?” He asks for confirmation.

Harry nods, pulling Louis closer. “I am,” he says. “Dad, this is Louis, my best friend and mate.”

“Nice to meet you, sir,” Louis says, offering a hand to shake.

Des shakes his hand, smiling softly. “Thank you for taking care of him,” he says. 

Louis blushes. “Harry takes care of me,” he says. “We take care of each other.”

“As good mates do,” Des says with a nod. He turns to Anne. “Gemma should be here,” he says.

Anne nods. “I've already told her to come over,” she says. “She said she'll be over once Henry wakes up from his nap.”

Des nods. “It's best to let that pup sleep,” he says, chuckling lightly. “He's a terror when he's cranky, much like you when you were his age, Harry.”

“He's  _ still  _ like that,” Louis comments, rousing a loud round of laughter from Harry's father. Harry stares at Louis in mock offense, and Louis just laughs along with Des.

Anne beams at the way her boys are getting along, proud that her son has found a wonderful mate. “I'll ready some tea before Gemma comes over,” she says, stepping into the kitchen. “Des, care to help me?”

“Coming, my dear,” Des says, joining her shortly.

Harry and Louis sit on the sofa facing away from the kitchen.

“They like you,” Harry murmurs, giving Louis a bright smile.

“I'm glad,” Louis says, returning the smile. “You're  kind of stuck with me forever.”

Harry grins. “Not stuck,” he says, “privileged to get to be with you, forever.”

Louis rolls his eyes. “You're a sap,” he says.

Harry just shrugs. “It's the truth,” he says simply. They're quiet for a moment, the sounds of Anne and Des moving in the kitchen substituting for words. Then Louis speaks.

“I'm glad you found your family,” he whispers.

Harry smiles. “Thank you, Louis,” he says. “I'm happy that you got to meet them.”

Louis glances out of the corner of his eye toward the kitchen, where Anne and Des murmur their own private conversation, invading each other's personal space in the intimate way only mates can. Louis returns his eyes to Harry. “They're very sweet, Harry,” he says.

Harry reaches for his hand. “They are,” he says. “They're  even more so because you're a guest in their home. They're still great when you get to know them, but they'll be tooth-rottingly sweet toward you for awhile.”

Louis nods. “I see where you get it now,” he says.

Harry opens his mouth to respond, but is cut short when there's a knock on the door.

“That'll be Gemma.” Anne grins as she hurries to let her in, the door hissing as Anne opens it.

“Hey, Mum.” Harry is on his feet at the sound of her voice. He stares, frozen in place, as his sister enters the pod. She's smiling, balancing a young pup on her hip.

“Gem,” Harry whispers, the name breaking his voice.

She stops to stare at him, wide-eyed and mouth agape. “Harry?” she asks, just as hoarsely. She swallows hard, turning back to their mother for answers. Anne just nods and Gemma passes the pup to his grandmother before shakily making her way over to her brother.

“Haz, is it really you?” she squeaks.

“It's me, Gem,” Harry murmurs, searching her wide eyes. She yanks him into a tight hug that lasts several moments. When they break apart, there are tears in her eyes. Then, Harry is suddenly yelping in pain after she's slugged him in the shoulder.

“What was that for?!” he demands, hissing in pain.

“For all the grief you've caused Mum and Dad,” she snaps.

“Gemma,” Anne says in a warning tone. Suddenly, Harry feels as if the past ten years were just a nightmare. That he and his sister have yet to grow up. They're just kids, fighting over who will get the bathroom first. Harry blinks, taking in the age of his sister's face, the weight of the uncertainty of his disappearance that pulls at her features. Gemma looks old, he realizes, older than she should. His sister has grown up, and so has he; they are no longer children, have not been since that day. That was the day they grew up and found out the world is not always kind. Harry is pulled from his thoughts when the pup in Anne’s arms whimpers softly, sensing his mother's anger.

Gemma squares her shoulders, tipping her head back to look her brother in the eyes. “We thought you were dead,” she says. “Did you even try to find us?”

Harry narrows his eyes. “I was used,” he says, remembering the old man's complete disregard for the man whose identity he stole to make refuge for himself. He wonders if his words to the guard were true, that the family of Zachariah Brooks was in the shelter. It had to be true for them to be on the list. Harry wonders what had happened to the real Zachariah Brooks, and whether or not he lives.“Some old guy used me to get into the shelter and once a guard found me wandering around, he took me to a holding cell. They told me you'd all gone missing. What was I supposed to do?” he asks. “If I questioned anything they'd have thrown me in juvenile detention. I complied and they placed me in a foster home.”

Gemma’s mouth twists, her resolve crumbling. “I'm sorry,” she whispers. “We didn't know. It's been a long ten years of questions, Haz,” she says.

“I would have looked for you if I had the chance,” Harry assures her, then looks to his mother and father. “I'd have looked for all of you. There was no opportunity,” he says. “The foster care system kept close tabs on its wards.”

“We understand, love,” Anne murmurs. “We're all together now, and that's what matters.” Harry revels in his mother’s placating ability, which has proven itself time and time again over the course of his life. If he had her soothing manner, perhaps things back at the complex would have been better.

Gemma looks over her shoulder to smile gently at her mother. “You’re right, Mum,” she says. “We can’t dwell on the past.” She moves over to take back the pup, balancing him on her hip once again. “Harry, I'd like to introduce you to your nephew, Henry.”

Louis looks on as Harry practically melts upon meeting his nephew. “Hi, Henry,” Harry coos in a sing-song voice. Gemma allows him to take the pup, Harry handling him with the utmost care. “I’m your uncle Harry,” he tells the one year old, who looks up at him with round brown eyes. He babbles, reaching for Harry’s nose. Harry chuckles at the small boy’s fascination and holds him close to his chest, looking at Louis over the pup’s head. “I’m an uncle, Lou,” he says in awe.

Louis smiles in response, watching on as Harry speaks to his nephew. He knows how dear Gemma is to Harry from their talks years ago. It must feel strange for Harry, who for years had maintained the mental image of a sixteen-year-old Gemma, to see her grown up, mated and with a pup. Gemma joins Louis on the sofa, watching Harry with her son.

“Are you his mate?” she asks softly, turning her gaze on him. Louis nods, introducing himself to her. She smiles. “It’s nice to meet you,” she says.

“You as well,” Louis tells her. “Harry’s told me a lot about you. He always speaks so highly of you.”

“I wish I could say the same about you,” Gemma tells him. “How long have you two been mates?”

“Not quite three months,” Louis says.

Gemma’s brows raise. “But you’re an omega,” she says. “Aren’t you typically matched earlier?”

“We weren’t matched,” Louis tells her, feeling his cheeks flush with heat. “I was mated to a monster for about six months before Harry and I bonded. We left the city soon after to avoid being found out that I had severed a matched bond.”

Gemma nods in understanding. “Lots of mates are like that here,” she says. They watch as Anne and Des make their way into the den, bringing the tea with them. Anne sets the tray on the coffee table, watching Harry interact with his nephew.

“You’re a natural with him, Harry,” Anne comments as Harry tickles Henry, sending him into a fit of bubbly giggles.

Harry smiles. “Getting in some practice,” he says.

Louis sucks in his breath, glancing around the room to read the others’ faces. Gemma and Des look confused, but Anne is smiling warmly. “Practice is helpful,” she says.

Louis debates whether or not he should inform Gemma and Des of his pregnancy. They are Harry's family, so he knows they can be trusted. He shakes his head, remembering that they're in a place where they will be safe from persecution of the law. He smiles to himself and stands to make his announcement.

He clears his throat and Gemma’s  and Des’ puzzled faces  turn toward him. Anne smiles encouragingly at him from beside Des. “Harry claims he needs practice,” he says, “but I believe that he will be a wonderful father to our pup.”

Harry grins at the shocked looks on his father’s and sister's faces. Anne moves to take Henry into her arms, leaning up to press a kiss to Harry's cheek. “Congratulations again, sweetheart,” she says before moving on to do the same for Louis.

“Congratulations!” Gemma grins as Des pulls Harry into a back-thumping hug. “Atta boy!” Des chuckles proudly. Gemma hugs her brother tightly before hugging Louis as well.

“This is why you really left, isn't it?” she asks quietly.

Louis nods. “We were scared,” he murmurs.

Gemma places a gentle, reassuring hand on his shoulder. “You followed your instincts,” she says. “You will be safe here. Everyone is.”

Louis smiles at her, grateful for her supportive, steadying presence. He sees why Harry admires his sister so much. He looks to Harry, who is in animated conversation with his parents. “I think we'll like it here,” he says.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for reading and being so patient with me C:
> 
> also if you guys could let me know what you want to see next, that'd be super great!!!
> 
> i have a general idea of what is going to happen, but it's a ways away, so i need some fillers.


	14. Oops

Okay so this kind of went on unofficial hiatus and this is just me making it official.

I am not done with this fic and I have every intention to finish it, but I'm just too busy with school right now to be focused on/worried about this.

Sorry if I gave you false hope with an update, but maybe when I find the time to write more I'll stock pile them and bombard you with new chapters :)

I'll post an update about the hiatus when I have one to give.

Thank you for sticking with me through all this :) I really appreciate it


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